


ZEN, DANCE, LOVE

by KindlyD



Category: The Last of Us (Video Games)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Roommates/Housemates, Canon Lesbian Relationship, F/F, Lesbian Character, Lesbian Sex, Roommates, Useless Lesbians
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-24
Updated: 2021-03-14
Packaged: 2021-03-16 10:42:16
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 12
Words: 59,683
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28955151
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KindlyD/pseuds/KindlyD
Summary: Ellie is used to living alone. She loves the solitude and tranquility of her home. Morning rituals, coffee and the guitar...However, everything changes when a new neighbor invades her life.This will be a long and touching story about the transformation of relationships, from complete strangers to best friends and first feelings. A lot of sometimes funny and sometimes dramatic events await you.
Relationships: Dina & Ellie (The Last of Us), Dina/Ellie (The Last of Us), Ellie & Jesse (The Last of Us), Ellie & Joel (The Last of Us), Ellie/Joel (The Last of Us), Ellie/Kat (The Last of Us)
Comments: 158
Kudos: 209





	1. NEW NEIGHBOUR

**Author's Note:**

> English is not my first language, so I apologize in advance for any mistakes and inaccuracies.

The alarm clock rang softly on the bedside table, ruthlessly disturbing the silence of the morning. The vibration of the phone against the surface of the wood rumbled nastily through the room, drowning out the pleasantly quiet melody. Ellie tried to grasp at the corner of the dream that was slipping through her fingers. It was a really pleasant dream, and she didn't want to pull herself out of it. But when Ellie opened one eye, she found that the morning seemed to be just as pleasant as the dream. The sun was up, and the weather was fine. Besides, today was a day off, and that was half the success of the day.

The girl stretched lazily on the bed. The vibration was less annoying, and with each new breath Ellie had a better sense of her newly awakened body, her thoughts, and her mood. Rubbing her eyes and feeling fully awake, she reached for the phone and finally turned off the alarm clock. There was an incoming message on the screen. 

[Joel:

Today's a big day, kiddo! 

Don't scare the new neighbour with your seriousness. 

Good luck!]

Ellie wouldn't forget this upcoming event, even if she wanted to, and that was the only thing that overshadowed the day. Would she really have to share her home, her shelter, her space with someone else? It was a terrible prospect, if only because Ellie had always loved to be alone.

She sighed, opened the phone book, and dialed Joel's number. After all, the old man would enjoy hearing her voice today. She didn't call him much as it was, but that suited them both. They were both loners by nature and in that they always understood each other, and Ellie was truly grateful for Joel's understanding, even though she never told him that.

"Hey, kid," his voice was as low and husky as ever.

"Hey, old man."

"So, ready for the big day?"

"It's not that big, and I still can't believe you decided everything without me." 

"I couldn't help but help out an old friend when his kid needs a place to live. It could have been you in her place. Besides, it's still my house, right? And you could use some company. How long have you lived alone?"

"Enough to love living alone. Maybe there's room in the dorm after all?"

"Look, kiddo, it's going to be okay. Don't think of it as a disaster"

"Okay, I'll get over it. How's the new facility coming along?"

"Good. How's the motorcycle assembly going?"

"Good"

"All right, well, take care and good luck"

"In touch"

Ellie hung up the phone and returned it to the nightstand. Yeah, she'll get over it. In the meantime, she could enjoy her last few hours of home ownership alone. At least her room would remain untouchable. 

Ellie got out of bed, pulled on her sweatpants, and went out into the hallway. Directly across from her room was the door to Joel's room, on the left was the door to the bathroom, and on the right was the stairs to the first floor. The house was small, but very cozy. Ellie loved her little sanctuary and took great pride in the fact that she had no trouble living without the care and presence of adults. She loved making her own decisions about organizing her home and taking responsibility for her life. It had always been that way. That's why Joel wasn't afraid to leave her when he went off to build facilities. His business trips often lasted more than a year, and he wandered from one city to another. When Ellie asked Joel how he endured the lack of a single place he could call home, he simply answered that home is where he is. And she liked that philosophy. It seemed that the only thing her old man was truly attached to was herself. Everything else could be swapped, bought, sold, or given away. Nothing was superfluous. 

Fifteen minutes after and all the bathing Ellie had done, she was standing in her kitchen, inhaling the lovely aroma from the steaming mug. Strong coffee in the morning was just what she needed. Not too hot, not too cold, the perfect temperature. Every time you bring the mug to your lips, you get a special dose of pleasure. But you can't drink too much, or the extra sip you take won't seem so great anymore, which means it's wasted. Unforgivable.

What Ellie loved about the morning off was the hot coffee, the quiet, peaceful surroundings, and the good music she put on the speakers at a moderate volume. There was time for everything in the morning - thinking, watching passersby outside from the window while the coffee was still too hot, looking at the day ahead and deciding what she wanted to make time for. She could sit for an hour and not move more than necessary, tidying up her thoughts and her head.

But today she didn't have that luxury. The foam on the surface of the dark drink swirled slowly in a circle, reminding her that time was approaching inexorably, and it was time to get ready. Ellie took a few more sips, washed the mug, and set it on the dryer. The doorbell rang.

_ What the hell? It's too early... _

Ellie made her way to the front door and opened it. There was a black-haired girl standing on the doorstep, smiling a dazzling white smile.

"Hey!"

"Um... hi"

"I'm Dina, nice to finally meet you! Can I come in?"

"Uh... I was expecting you by ten," Ellie stood at the doorway confused, unable to believe that this moment of intrusion into her life had come so soon. Something inside her shuddered at this uncomfortable feeling.

"Yes, I know, it came out that way. But you seem to be up now, so it's okay" 

Apparently, the girl was not at all confused by Ellie's surprise or the fact that there was no joy or excitement on her face at the new acquaintance. Dina was a little shorter than Ellie, petite and with a wide, snow-white smile.

"So are you going to let me in, or do I have to live on your doormat at the threshold?" she asked playfully, stepping forward and clearly about to head inside. Ellie had no choice but to give way. Dina briskly skipped past the redheaded girl, rolling the bright yellow travel suitcase on wheels behind her. 

"Oh, it's very cozy in here!" she looked around and kicked her suitcase toward the nearest chair, unbuttoning her jacket. "I smell great coffee. Can I get some? I'd give my life for a mug of hot Americano!" Dina flopped down on the couch. Ellie continued to stand at the door and stare at her new acquaintance, wondering at her liveliness and casualness. She tried to figure out which feeling was stronger in her right now, surprise or annoyance.

_ Oh, God, I'm starting to lose my mind _

Her voice was loud, her movements were sprawling, her manners were loose, all of which made Ellie huddle inside herself, holding back her inner lone wolf. She wanted to run to her room right now and hide in peace and quiet. Instead, she walked over to the countertop and began pouring coffee into the cezve, turning her back on her new roommate.

"Look, I'm so grateful to you and Joel for agreeing to take me in. Seriously! Can you believe they don't have dorm spots for those who were last enrolled and didn't make it on a budget! The dorms would have been fun, but I'm sure we won't be bored here, either," Dina kept chirping in her high-pitched voice. 

Ellie put the cezve on the fire and concentrated on the process of heating the coffee. Her thoughts flitted between Dina's voice behind her and the tiny bubbles at the edges of the neck of the cezve. 

"I'll introduce you to the guys on the team, we'll have parties and hang out."

"From the team?" Ellie turned to Dina, distracted from brewing coffee.

"Yeah, the dance team," she replied with a smile. 

"You dance?" 

"Yeah. I came to learn dance at the art academy. Didn't Joel tell you?"

_ God, she's also a dancer _

"No. We don't talk much," Ellie continued to consider Dina: coal-black hair was tied in a tight bun at the back of her head, eyes were large and expressive, facial features were soft and open. Ellie might even have recognized her as pretty if the girl hadn't irritated her nervous system so much.

"Hmm, that's sad," Dina replied, and Ellie flashed that assessment. 

"Nothing sad," she instantly sounded stiff and ready to fight. "We're both totally fine with it. Not everyone talks so much..."

"Like me? Yeah, I'm sorry for my talkativeness. You'll get used to it in no time, though."

"Get used to it?" Ellie wanted to be indignant, but a second later she heard a hiss behind her back. Apparently the coffee didn't want to stay in the cezve for another second, "Oh, crap...", she turned off the gas and took the cezve off the stove with a little spill on the way. 

_ God, if I have to get used to this... _

"Careful, freckles, don't get burned," Dina's voice came from behind her. Ellie turned sharply, caught off guard by her clumsiness and that phrase. This didn't usually happen to her, she was always focused and rarely made mistakes. But today it all went wrong. Her eyes met the big brown eyes of her new acquaintance.

"You called me freckles?" hesitantly Ellie interjected, trying to gather her thoughts again. Dina looked at her calmly with a mischievous smile on her face.

"Yeah, freckles on your cheeks," she slid her gaze over the redheaded girl's face, "I'm surprised you still don't have that nickname stuck to you."

Ellie turned embarrassedly back to the cezve and quickly grabbed a cup from the shelf. Taking some foam off the surface of the coffee with a teaspoon, she filled the cup and turned back around. Dina continued to study her face, Ellie held out her mug wanting to escape that stare as quickly as possible. Her morning was already too much of a mess, and it had only been half an hour.

_ God, it will obviously get worse from here... _

Dina took a sip and grimaced.

"No sugar?" she asked, warming her hands on the cup. Then her expression changed to apologetic, "I mean, the coffee is great, of course, but, damn... so bitter."

"Uh, I always drink it without sugar."

_ How can you ruin the true great taste of coffee with sugar? _

"Maybe someday I'll master this art, but definitely not today," Dina replied.

"Okay, how much to put?" said Ellie, taking the mug back.

"Two spoons, please."

Ellie took the sugar bowl and scooped up the sugar with a teaspoon. Bringing the spoon to the mug, she mentally apologized to the coffee for killing its beautiful taste with her own hands.

"Okay, let me show you to your room..."

Joel's room was spacious and simply furnished: a big bed, a closet for clothes, a desk, and a few bookshelves on the wall. The owner of the room hadn't lived there permanently for a long time, and Ellie only dusted and vacuumed the carpet from time to time. Dina seemed to like her new apartment. She immediately made her way to the bed, set her coffee mug on the bedside table, spread her arms, and fell back onto the soft blanket with a peaceful sigh.

"Oh yeah, that's what I need," she murmured with her eyes closed. Ellie stood in the doorway staring at her for a few more seconds, not knowing what she should say or do.

"Um...okay, I'll leave you to it," she turned to leave, "If you need anything, my room is across the hall."

"Okay, thanks, freckles," Dina replied softly, and Ellie popped out the door. 

_ This girl is acting like nothing happened, damn... _

As she entered her room, she leaned back against the closed door and sighed. Her gaze fell on the guitar leaning against the bed. Ellie grabbed it, jumped on the bed, and placed the instrument in her lap. Her fingers slowly and carefully traced all six strings from top to bottom, extracting a different note from each string. The guitar was perfectly tuned and sounded as it should. Ellie closed her eyes and listened. The alternating sound of the open strings always soothed her. She could go up to the instrument several times a day just to run her finger over the strings and listen. 

_ E, B, G, D, A, E.  _

_ Perfect. _

The last note slowly dissolved into silence, and Ellie opened her eyes. Her room looked the same as it always did, everything around her was the same. That plaid underneath her, the desk by the window, the rack of books and sundries, the clothes closet with shirts peeking out of it, hanging on hangers. On the wall beside the desk hung a large map of the world. Ellie liked to look at it sometimes, to realize the scale of the world compared to her small life, confined to one city. It reminded her of the almost limitless possibilities, the adventures and new discoveries for which a lifetime was not enough. And this life will certainly not be boring.

She glanced at the map expecting to feel that familiar echo in her head. But the map was silent. It seemed empty, and now the whole scale of the world that surrounded Ellie shrank to the size of her room. Everything else beyond it was alien and no longer evoked the sweet anticipation of adventure. 

Ellie squeezed the fingerboard with her left hand and fumbled for the first fret. She brought her right hand to the strings about to strike a simple chord.

"Hey! Yeah, I'm already here! No, it's okay. Yeah... Listen, this place is so cool..."

Dina's voice came from across the room, overcoming the barrier of two doors. She started babbling rapidly, recounting her impressions, and all her words merged into one continuous stream of sound that was hard to make out. Ellie grimaced, gripping the guitar harder with her hands.

_ Oh, shit. I wouldn't have any peace even in my room. _

_ Hell. _

_ Okay, all right, I just need to relax and distract myself.  _

_ It's not hard, I can handle it. _

She put the guitar aside and leaned back on the bed. There was a faint, thin cobweb hanging from the ceiling by the window. Ellie sighed and closed her eyes. She wanted to fall asleep and be transported immediately into tomorrow without leaving this room.

_ Zen. _

_ Keep your inner zen... _

"Hey, freckles!" the door slowly opened, and a snow-white smile appeared in the opening.

"Oh crap!" Ellie opened her eyes and jumped up on the bed, "Didn't they teach you to knock?"

"Sorry," Dina's smile faded a little as she stepped inside, "What are you doing sitting here in silence?"

"I like silence," Ellie snarled and folded her arms across her chest in anticipation. Dina looked around the room curiously.

"Okay, I was just wondering where the bathroom is and stuff."

"The only door on the left."

"Great, thanks!" and she disappeared as quickly as she appeared. Ellie got out of bed and slowly walked to the door, looking out into the hallway. Dina was already on the first floor and was trying to get her huge and obviously heavy suitcase upstairs. She was panting, straining her arms and definitely not going to give up.

_ She's also stubborn. _

Ellie didn't hesitate for a second to walk over to Dina with her suitcase and take hold of the handle, taking the weight on herself, "Let me."

The girl immediately let go of the suitcase and smiled confusedly, "No need, I could handle it." Ellie didn't answer, but it felt good to help, putting her strength and stamina to work. She effortlessly carried the suitcase upstairs and set it on the threshold of the room.

"Thank you," Dina thanked quietly, touching the red-haired girl's forearm. It was unexpected, but pleasant. Ellie shoved her hands deep into the pockets of her jeans and took a few steps away from the door.

"Okay, I need to pop out to the store. Do you need anything?"

"Yeah. A bag of weed and a hot guy, please," Dina replied as if nothing had happened.

"What?", Ellie's brain tried to unravel and comprehend the words she had just heard. She just stood there staring at the girl in front of her.

"I'm just fucking with you," girl laughed, "Are you always this serious?"

The big brown eyes began to study Ellie again with curiosity and mischief. This girl definitely felt confident in any situation. 

"I'd give all the money in the world for a bag of peanuts," Dina said after a pause.

"Uh, okay."

_ What? Weed? A guy? A bag of peanuts? _

Once outside the door, Ellie threw on her jacket and hurried out of the house, which was slowly becoming invaded by the new atmosphere.

  
  


*******************************************************************

  
  


"Dina, hurry up, or I'll be late!"

Ellie stood in front of the closed bathroom door and pounded on it with her fist. It was about seven in the morning on the clock, and normally she would have been calmly getting ready for work, taking her time and sinking into her morning routine in a measured way, if it wasn't for...

"Ten more minutes, I won't be long!" came a voice from behind the door along with the sound of water and music.

Ellie clenched her fists and mentally asked the universe for strength.

"I don't have time! I'll just go in and get some toothpaste and a toothbrush!" she was already willing to brush her teeth in the kitchen sink, just to avoid being stuck under that door like a dormitory. Ellie jerked the knob.

"Are you locked in?"

"Yes!"

"Why?"

"Habit! Besides, what if you're a maniac who wants to kill me in the shower like in a horror movie?"

"Oh my God... Open the door! I'll take what I need and leave!"

"If I get out, I'll flood the whole floor! I'm almost done, I'll be right out!"

_ Damn whoever planned only one bathroom in this house. _

Ellie closed her eyes and rubbed her forehead, leaning back against the door. Hopelessness. The music outside the door continued to play, but the sound of pouring water stopped. Dina seemed to be singing along to the song.

_ If she dances as she sings, they won't keep her at the academy for long. _

_ God... _

_ I'll have to seriously consider getting up an hour earlier and not putting up with this every morning. _

The door swung open unexpectedly, and Ellie fall inside, almost losing her balance and bumping into Dina. She was only wrapped in a towel and managed to keep it on her at the last moment.

"God, you scared me," Dina exclaimed, clutching the edge of her towel to her chest. Droplets of water glistened on her olive skin and her hair was gathered in a wet bundle. She smelled pleasantly of shampoo and lavender soap. Ellie blinked and looked away embarrassed.

"Sorry... You should get dressed when you come out of the bathroom..." she replied.

"Does the sight of a half-naked girl embarrass you?" joked Dina in response, and she flopped gracefully out into the hallway. Ellie ran her eyes over her figure, glancing over her bare shoulders and barely covered thighs, but then yanked herself away. 

_ What the fuck, anyway? _

Finally getting to the bathroom, she glanced at herself in the mirror. The hint of bags under her eyes and the sour expression on her face spoke for itself - sleep this night had been sodden. Ellie stood like that for a few more minutes.

"God, I hope I don't fall asleep on the job tonight," she finally said to her own reflection.

"Talking to yourself is the first sign of mental illness," came a voice from the doorway. Ellie jumped up.

"God, what the fuck?!"

_ Why the fuck is she always getting behind me and catching me off guard? _

"I left my phone here, and I have to run," Dina replied with a smile. She was already wearing jeans and a tight tank top, her gym bag was hanging behind her, and her hair was still in a damp but neat bundle.

_ And how did she manage to pack so quickly? _

"Stop sneaking up on me, God..." Ellie pressed her back against the sink, clutching her hands into it.

"Sorry, freckles. See ya!" Dina grabbed the phone and jumped out of the bathroom. In the hallway she heard retreating footsteps followed by the sound of the front door slamming shut. The house was quiet. She could hear the sounds of the street outside the small window, the faint sound of people walking down the sidewalk and hurrying to work, the quiet sound of cars and the distant barking of the neighbor's dog. The house breathed, calm and peaceful. Ellie sighed and turned again to the mirror.

_ Finally a blessed silence... _

_ But I can't enjoy it to the fullest because I'm fucking late. _

Ten minutes later she was already pulling on jeans and a sweatshirt in her room. Ellie stacked her home sweatpants and T-shirt and left them on the edge of the made bed. The guitar stood in its place by her desk, calling out to touch it. It was a call that was impossible to resist, and Ellie ran her fingers over all six strings as she passed. Her room was slowly beginning to warm up in the morning sun, tempting her to stay a little longer and pick up the guitar, but it was time to go.

On her way out into the hallway, Ellie noticed that the door to Joel's room was unlocked and slightly ajar. Either Dena had forgotten to lock it when she ran out in a hurry, or she didn't care at all about keeping her personal space from outsiders.

As she stepped closer and peeked in through the opening, Ally immediately noticed the things scattered haphazardly around the yellow suitcase on the floor. All so different and brightly colored, from all sorts of tight T-shirts to baggy pants. The bed was unmade, the sheet was wrinkled, and the pillow was in the wrong place.

_ God, what a mess. _

Ellie cringed at what she saw and the fact that she had invaded someone else's personal space. Without a second more, she headed downstairs. There was a dirty mug waiting for her in the kitchen, left on the countertop. Her own mug. Anger broke through the surface of calm, showing its ugly face.

What the fuck!?!

At the bottom of the mug was some still warm liquid, and an empty pack of instant coffee lay next to it. Ellie grabbed the mug and began scrubbing it furiously. Then she tossed the pack into the trash and headed for the exit, trying to calm herself down.

  
  


*********************************************************

  
  


"Hey, El! Why so sour?" 

"Hello, Tony."

"You've been staring at that gearbox for ten minutes now like it's a problem for you." 

Ellie had actually been sitting at the workbench for some time trying to get her thoughts together and get to work. It was a little hot in her work clothes, it was distracting.

"Just didn't get enough sleep."

"That doesn't happen very often. Did something happen?"

Her friend and workshop colleague sat down on the workbench and stared at her sleepy face. He looked to be in his twenties, but no one really knew his age. Tony's straw hair fell to his forehead, his blue eyes were open and calm, and he had a crumpled cigarette behind his ear.

"I have a new roommate. I don't live at home alone now," Ellie responded, stepping away from her desk.

"Wow! That's quite an ordeal for you, man," Tony was clearly amused by the news. He sat back, took the cigarette out from behind his ear, and started twirling it in his hands.

"Yeah..."

"And how is she?"

"She's too loud, too active, too opinionated, too...all over the place."

"Sounds like the perfect opposite of someone as restrained and calm as you."

"It is," Ellie sighed wearily and stared blankly at the gearbox again.

"Also sounds like the perfect partner for fun," Tony exclaimed cheerfully.

"Well, I'm not in the mood for fun just yet."

"It's up to you, man."

"She's mercilessly disturbing my inner peace and the zen of my house!" retorted Ellie a little louder in a burst of emotion, "Give me the 10-wrench."

Tony reached for the wrench, then turned back to Ellie and fixed his gaze on her again, twirling the wrench in his hand. 

"I don't know how things are at your house, but you do realize that your inner zen can only be violated by yourself, right?"

Ellie rolled her eyes.

"I'm going to break your zen if you don't hand me that fucking wrench."

"My zen can't be broken, I'm a Buddhist through and through," he grinned and handed over the tool.

"Is it your beliefs or the weed talking for you?" grinned Ellie back.

"Balance, baby, balance," he put the cigarette back behind his ear and smoothly retreated back to his car he was working on. Ellie turned to the gearbox, sighed, and began to remove the top cover. 

  
  


*********************************************************************************

Back at the house, Ellie found it quiet and seemingly empty. The only indication of Dina's presence was a jacket tossed carelessly on the back of an armchair. The kitchen was empty, there were no dirty mugs, and that was a relief. Ellie went to the refrigerator, grabbed a bag of orange juice, and took a few sips. The cool, sweet liquid cooled her throat and left a pleasant sweetness in her mouth. It was perfect. Ellie smacked her lips and set the juice down. 

_ Damn, now I must pour the juice into a glass so I wouldn't have to lick the neck, now that there are two of us. _

Once she was in the second-floor hallway, she found the door to Joel's room unlocked again. Not a sound came from there. Ellie walked slowly over and peered furtively inside, just as she had this morning. The room had not changed at all, except that her mistress was sleeping peacefully across the bed, with her clothes on, her knees tucked under her. The pillow was still somewhere on the edge, but Dina seemed comfortable without it. She wore the same loose jeans and tank top that Ellie had seen on her this morning. The gym bag was next to the bed, unopened.

_ Great, I have some time to relax. _

_ I hope the party queen gets some more sleep. _

With that hopeful thought, Ellie went into her room and closed the door. Dropping her bag by the table and running her fingers over the strings of her guitar, she leaned back on the bed and closed her eyes. It was about seven in the evening, which meant she had a few more hours to herself. She couldn't play the guitar, for there was a risk of waking up the neighbor and bringing on a lot of unnecessary active conversation. And after a long day at work, the last thing Ellie wanted to do was talk to anyone. In the end, she decided to change into her home clothes and make herself some coffee.

The frayed home hoodie and sweatpants were as insanely comfortable and warm as ever. Her body was literally thankful to have moved back into them. Hot coffee would complete this perfect picture.

Once in the kitchen, Ellie pulled a can of brewed coffee from the shelf and stuck her nose in it. It smelled divine. The cezve was already ready and waiting in its place. Two teaspoons would suffice, as always. Water to the narrowest point of the neck. A low fire. A peaceful wait. 

The kitchen quickly filled with the aroma of coffee as the liquid in the cezve heated. A little more and it would be ready. The main thing is not to let the coffee boil and to have time to take it off the heat as the first smallest bubbles appear...

_ What's that? Music? _

The girl turned her head slightly and listened. As the second floor began to shake with the growing volume of the speakers, Ellie knew she was not mistaken. 

_ Oh God...no. _

She turned around at the sound of music coming from the stairs and began to boil inside herself. The coffee seemed determined to start boiling, too, letting her know with a hiss. The drink was already starting to come to an edge, the perfect moment had been missed.

_ Shit! _

Ellie managed at the last second to take the cezve off the fire so that the foam wouldn't jump over its edge and flood the entire stove.

"Dina!" she shouted, flying up the stairs and running into the room. Hip-hop was roared from Joel's old speakers, and Dina was sitting on a twine in the center near her yellow suitcase and reaching for her left leg with her hands. 

"What the fuck!"

"Oh, sorry, freckles, I didn't know you were home," Dina cheerfully rose to her feet and turned the volume down to the minimum. "How are you?"

The girl's dazzling smile was disarming, and Ellie just continued to stand in the doorway with her arms spread out in frustration and stare at her.

"I've got dance practice with the team coming up, need to stretch a little. I almost overslept, can you believe it?", Dina returned to her seat in the center and began bending over on the floor again. "Come on in and tell me how your day was," she smiled.

"My coffee's getting cold in the kitchen," Ellie cut off and walked out.

_ Fucking dances... _


	2. LET'S TRY

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hello, my lovely readers!  
> Here is new update, I hope you'll enjoy!  
> Next one will be at Friday 29th

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> English is not my first language, so I apologize in advance for any mistakes and inaccuracies.

_ Fucking dances... _

Ellie thought, waking up earlier than usual so she wouldn't be stuck under the bathroom door. However, when she got to it, it was already locked and there was the noise of water mixed with music.

"Dina!"

There was no response. 

"DINA!" Ellie pounded her fist on the door.

"Yeah?" came a voice from behind the door.

"Why the fuck did you lock yourself in again?"

"You want to try to kill me in the shower like a maniac again?" Dina's voice was peppy and cheerful as always.

"I want to brush my teeth!"

"Is that all? Boring living, freckles!"

"WHAT? There's one freaking bathroom in this house and you keep locking yourself in!" yelled Ellie back starting to boil.

"Sorry, I'm on automatic!"

"In two weeks you could have gotten used to it!"

"Two weeks is like two days to me!"

"Open up for me!"

"I'll be right out!"

"Dina!"

"Five more minutes!"

"DINA!"

"I can't hear you!"

_ Lord, give me strength _ .

  
  


**************************

"Listen, freckles, when do you stop being reclusive?" asked Dina, finding herself in the kitchen with Ellie twenty minutes later. She was spreading butter on toast, sipping from her mug in a hurry. Ellie stood beside her and tried to gather her thoughts about the day ahead while sipping from her own.

"I'm not reclusive," she replied earnestly as she continued to stare ahead of her.

"We've barely exchanged a dozen words in all this time. You either lock yourself in your room or disappear somewhere else. Are you avoiding me or something?"

"No, not at all...," Ellie didn't know what else to say. She was really avoiding Dina's company. It was her only strategy at the moment to preserve her own sanity. Something wild and dangerous was beginning to awaken inside Ellie from her deep sleep when she allowed herself to lose a little control. The coffee in the mug was already a little colder than its ideal temperature, and it was frustrating. Ellie took another sip, stepped around Dina, and poured the rest into the sink while washing the mug behind her. Dina looked up from her toast and nudged her playfully with her thigh.

"Well don't sulk, I won't lock up again," she said with her snow-white smile. Then she shifted her gaze back to the toast, bringing it to her mouth with a thoughtful expression, "At least I'll try not to forget," and she sent the toast into her mouth.

_ Yeah, sure _ .

Ellie thought, but didn't say a word. When Dina smiled like that, it was hard to start an argument with her. Her roommate continued to chew her toast, but after a second she almost choked when she glanced at her watch.

"God, it's so late! I've got to run," she exclaimed and stormed out of her seat, grabbing her bag off the floor, "See ya! And I made a toast for you there, too!"

And Dina took off out the door. Ellie only had time to catch a glimpse of her back and the denim jacket she only had time to put on one arm. A board with some toast on it, a jar of jam, a dirty knife, and a dirty mug of unfinished coffee were still on the table. Ellie glanced around irritably, realizing that she had to clean it all up.

_ Well, of course... _

_ Isn't it difficult to calculate the fucking time so that you don't have to rush anywhere? _

However, the toast left for her by Dina seemed to wink from her humble place, and Ellie softened a little. She began to twist the lid on the jam jar, mentally promising herself that next time she would definitely talk to Dina about everything.

****************************************************************

  
  


But Ellie haven't talk. Instead, when she came home and found another damp, wrinkled towel in the bathroom or an item left out of place, she would patiently fold it back into place, hang the towel on the dryer, or wash a dirty mug that had been left in the kitchen. All because Ellie always found Dina either disarmingly smiling or sound asleep literally anywhere. Once she'd found her asleep on the living room couch, curled up and not even noticing at first. A couple more times, she found her asleep in a chair with headphones in her ears. And even once in a bathtub full of water, when Dina hadn't locked the door behind her after all. 

Ellie was even a little jealous of her ability to fall asleep on the spot. She herself had never been able to fall asleep anywhere but in her own bed, and not right away. Dina, on the other hand, broke all records in that regard. 

However, the wide, bright smile didn't make up for the mess she was making, and Ellie continued to slowly boil up inside herself. Her inner beast had already smelled freedom and was just waiting for an excuse to get out. She had a headache like hell today, and she'd come home after work with the only thought of taking a pill and relaxing with a good book in her hands. There was cheese and baguette waiting for her in the refrigerator, and Ellie cherished the thought of how she would enjoy them when she got there.

_ God Bless Friday. _

And, of course, she was greeted from the doorway by music - that ubiquitous damn hip-hop again. Ellie tiredly kicked off her shoes and made her way to the sound source, which was in the kitchen. A bright orange portable speaker stood at the edge of the countertop, bursting with another chorus. There were groceries strewn around, several paper bags with lettuce leaves and something else sticking out of them. The refrigerator was open and practically empty. There were all kinds of jars of spices on the countertop with the sink, something was scattered, and a frying pan was sizzling and burning on the stove. 

And in the midst of all this chaos, a black lock of hair fluttered back and forth. Dena was dancing with a glass of wine in her hand, singing along to the song while she stirred the contents of the pot that was simmering next to the frying pan. 

_ Oh my God, wh... _

"Freckles, hi!" Dina turned around for the lettuce leaves and noticed Ellie standing there with her mouth open in surprise.

"Dina, what the f..."

"Hungry? I hope so!"

"Did you get the cheese out of the fridge?"

"Yeah, I took something and bought something! Check it out!" and she circled her hand around the mess she'd made. Ellie opened and closed her mouth several times, but still couldn't say anything. The music kept rattling, the bottle of wine next to the speaker was a third empty.

"Turn it down," Ellie finally managed to squeeze out.

"What?"

"Turn it down!"

Dina obediently pulled her phone out of her pocket and turned down the speaker's volume. Ellie grimaced at the growing headache and walked indifferently past her roommate, reaching for one of the lockers. 

"Where's the box with medicines?" she asked irritably when she didn't find the cherished box of medicine in its familiar place.

"Oh, it was around here somewhere..." replied Dina quickly and turned to the countertop where everything was piled "I took something from there recently, I must have forgotten to put it back." She poked around a bit and quickly turned back to Ellie holding the box in her hands.

"Aren't you feeling well?" asked Dina with a concerned look, holding out the box.

"I'm fine," Ellie cut off, "Don't forget put back next time," there were notes of menace in her voice from the desperation and that stupid pain splitting her skull. Dina seemed to notice this and took half a step back. Ellie didn't even dignify her with a glance, walking past in search of a glass to fill it with water and take the pill. There were no clean glasses on the dishwasher dryer; they were all at the sink, unwashed.

_ I'm going to fucking lose my mind. _

Ellie thought, tossed the box back on the table with a sharp movement, and left the kitchen. Out of the corner of her eye, she caught a glimpse of Dina flinching.

"Ellie, wait!" her voice was almost pleading.

"Leave me alone!" shouted Ellie over her shoulder and walked down the hall toward the far door. Walking through it she found herself in her garage, which adjoined the house. Ellie leaned heavily on the door with her back and closed her eyes. She should have said everything she had accumulated during this time to Dina, but she just didn't have the strength to do it. She clung to the strength of her self-control, and after a few minutes the emotions subsided.

The garage was quiet, cool as always, and smelled of wood and machine oil. Ellie loved that smell. The room was semi-dark, the only light coming in through the small windows at the top of the door facing the street. Racks of wood, dark with age, ran along one wall and were full of sundries. Along the other wall was a work table, a workbench, a small old couch, and a bookcase. The girl walked over to the workbench and leaned her arms on it. The desk squeaked back in a friendly way.

_ Damn, I'm so sick of this. _

_ How does she manage to be so cute and so annoying at the same time? _

_ It's such a mess... _

_ What the hell am I supposed to do about it? _

_ I need to fucking talk to her already. _

_ Damn, my head so hurts. _

Ellie took a deep breath and walked over to the couch, flopping down on it. She stroked the dermantin under her fingers. It was smooth and cold. It was soothing. The girl threw her legs over the edge of the couch and lay on her back. In this position, her height was just long enough for her head to rest comfortably on one edge with her legs dangling off the other. It was finally possible to relax her body and all her limbs and cool off a bit. Her feet were already aching in her sneakers, and Ellie wiggled her feet to relieve the tension. She moved once more, getting comfortable, and closed her eyes. __

_ Silence... _

The house was finally quiet. Or was it finally quiet in Ellie's mind? Sometimes it seemed to her that she had achieved such a level of mind control that, at times, she could not notice the noise around her until someone called out to her. She had developed this ability through deep effort and work on herself. At one time it had been a matter of life and death, but now it was just a habit. Ellie had learned to keep her inner beast in check and was doing so with success. But not now. Now her equilibrium was broken. Control over her inner calm was slipping through her fingers, and it was annoying. 

Ellie turned her head to the side and her gaze fell on the motorcycle standing against the far wall. It was quite old and obviously not fully assembled yet. The engine and a few other parts were missing, the tank was rusty, and some of the spokes were bent. However, to Ellie, it was the best motorcycle ever. She loved spending time in the garage, perfecting every detail of it.

The girl slid her gaze over the lines and shapes of her unfinished creation, rubbing her knuckles. Then she got up, walked over to the motorcycle, and squatted in front of it, putting her hand on the tank.

_ It's been a long time since I've been with you, buddy. _

Ellie thought, stroking the rough surface of the tank with the palm of her hand. On the seat of the motorcycle lay a small book, which she had left there for the last time so she wouldn't forget to read it. A fair amount of dust had already accumulated on the surface of the soft, worn cover. Ellie took the book in her hands and wiped away the dust.

_ Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance _

[ _ Robert M. Pirsig _ ](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Robert_M._Pirsig)

She read and headed back to the couch. Settling into the same position as before, Ellie found the page she wanted and began to run her eyes over the lines. It was dark in the garage, but she didn't feel like turning on the lights. There was something cozy and appealing about the half-darkness. So Ellie continued to stare into the still discernible lines, finally feeling sheltered from everything and everyone.

She didn't know how much time had passed or how many pages had been read until there was a knock on the door. Ellie tore her eyes away from the book, torn from the world of philosophy, and looked at the door, expecting to see a head of black hair there. But when the door opened, she saw a straw hairdo and smiled.

"Tony!"

"Hi, El."

"What are you doing here?" Ellie put the book aside and sat up straight, smiling broadly.

"Walking by, thought I'd check in on you. It's been a long time." Tony walked over and slowly sat down next to her.

"How are you feeling?" asked Ellie.

"Better now. A week off is doing me good," Tony replied cheerfully, "And how are you doing?"

"Oh, nothing, by the way..." Ellie lowered her gaze and scratched her neck with her hand.

"Your roommate asked me to give you this," with those words, Tony held out the glass of water he'd been holding in his hand the whole time, and a box of medicine. Ellie blinked in surprise and took the glass. She hadn't noticed that her friend hadn't come empty-handed.

"Thanks," she sent the right pill into her mouth and took a few big sips.

"She seems nice," Tony reached down and completely cowered on the couch.

"That is until you let her into your house."

"You're not getting along, are you?"

"This whole thing makes me so mad. She doesn't seem to be doing anything wrong, but...I don't know."

"Have you told her what's bothering you?"

"No."

"And you expect her to read your mind?"

"Oh, shut up."

Ellie knew Tony was right, but she couldn't contain her irritation. The guy smiled understandingly and reached into his jeans pocket.

"I've got a better remedy than the pill," he pulled a cigarette case out of his pocket and pulled out a cigarette that clearly didn't contain tobacco. Lighting it with his lighter, he took a puff and handed the cigarette to Ellie. She took a puff after him, and they sat in silence enveloped in smoke for a while longer, passing each other a joint. The body and brain mellowed, thoughts flowed smoothly and slowly through the head.

"The old bike looks a lot better since I brought it to you," Tony waved toward the bike after a while.

"Yeah, it looked more like a pile of scrap metal than a bike back then."

"Definitely. Good job. Sometimes I even envy your abilities as a mechanic."

Ellie playfully poked him in the side with her elbow.

"Don't be jealous," she took another puff, "There's still a lot of work to be done before it's up and running."

"If anything, call me. I'm always happy to help out a friend and spend time disassembling the engine and a bottle of beer."

"That I know."

"But seriously, El... Talk to Dina. She doesn't seem stupid or crazy. It's just the way she is, and...she obviously seems to care," Tony waved toward the glass on the table.

"I rage out a little bit today. You know, I could barely contain myself. I'm not very good at figuring things out, man," Ellie threw her head back with a deep sigh and closed her eyes.

"Well... It's that kind of thing. I don't like that kind of talk myself. It's all about keeping it zen and not turning to negative tones. Be yourself."

"That advice doesn't help much, you know."

"You have a problem," Tony looked at her seriously, "You need to solve it. So solve it. Just remember that your problem isn't Dina. Your problem is here," and he touched Ellie's head temple with his index finger.

Ellie cringed at the realization and dropped her head in her hands. Tony only grinned understandingly.

"We're all struggling with this, man."

"With your mind."

There was another knock at the door.

"Oh, your friend is knocking before she comes in," Tony said, jokingly raising his eyebrows. Ellie rolled her eyes, "She's not that kind of..."

"Kind of what?" Dina had already appeared in the doorway at full height. She had a smile on her face as usual, "Hope I'm not interrupting?"

The friends simultaneously shrugged their shoulders and continued to just stare at her from their couch.

"Is that weed?" asked Dina, raising one eyebrow and coming closer.

_ Oh, shit. _

"Uh..." Tony was clearly trying to think of something to say for himself. Ellie was only moving her hazy gaze from him to Dina and back again.

"No puff or two left for me?"

_ Wait, what? _

"Certainly, beautiful mademoiselle, join us," the guy replied in relief, spreading his arms in a friendly gesture. Dina walked over to the couch and in one confident motion shift between Ellie and Tony, finding herself in the middle. Ellie fidget a little in her seat, trying to move, but the couch was too small. Her thigh was pressed almost completely against Dina's thigh, and her shoulder was touching her shoulder. It felt strange, but nice. 

Dina seemed more than comfortable, looking confident and energetic as always. Giving Tony a charming snow-white smile, she took the newly lit joint from him and took a deep puff, letting the smoke out slowly. Ellie watched her furtively, trying to make sense of her feelings and hazy thoughts. The heat from Dina's body was transferring through her jeans and shirt, and she smelled like lavender and wine, and it was making it hard to concentrate.

"So you work together?" inquired Dina, turning her head toward Tony and looking into his eyes. Tony held out a dramatic pause, slowly throwing one arm behind the back of the couch and spreading himself out even more.

"Yeah, we're good old motorcycle-car warriors," he finally uttered, bringing a joint to his lips.

"How long have you two been friends? Or..."

"We're just friends," Tony said softly, handing the joint back to Dina, "I don't know how long, but it feels like a hundred years, at least."

Dina took a puff and turned to Ellie, offering her a joint. Her eyes were as dark and beautiful as ever. It was the first time Ellie had looked so closely at her face, and she caught herself thinking that she wasn't angry at all when she looked into it.

_ She's pretty. _

"Freckles?"

It seemed to take forever before Dina's voice settled in Ellie's head and her thoughts began their sluggish movement to generate an answer.

"Um... No... Thank you."

"Freckles?" repeated Tony. His eyebrows flew up and his lips stretched into a mocking smile.

_ Fuck _

"Oh, shut up," Ellie rolled her eyes.

"Why didn't I think of calling you that?" the boy said with a laugh. He was definitely amused by the whole situation.

"This mission was meant for me," Dina said in a confident tone, clearly pleased with herself.

_ It's time to get this over with... _

"I'm starting to get a headache again from your talking and the smoke. I'm going to my room," she stood up and turned to Tony, "See you later."

"See ya," the guy waved back and started asking Dina something, but Ellie couldn't hear any more. She quickly crossed the room and found herself outside the door.

  
  


***********************************************************************

  
  


_ E, B, G, D, A, E.  _

_ Perfect. _

The strings vibrated beneath the fingers, their tinkling sound spreading through the recesses of the mind, bringing the thoughts to order. __

_ B, A, C, E. _

A classic A minor chord, simple and melodic. However, if you take your finger off the third string and leave it open, you get a septacord in A minor that has a completely different sound coloring. It is enough to change just one note in a chord or add a new note to turn it into something completely unique. This thought was mesmerizing.

Ellie looked away from her guitar when she heard footsteps in the hallway. The footsteps fell silent just beside the door, and there was silence for a few moments. Then someone knocked on the door and coughed softly. 

"May I come in?" heard Dina's voice after the knock.

"Yes," Ellie put the guitar aside and placed her hands on her knees, folded in a lotus pose. Dina entered the room and leaned her back against the wall near the door, folding her arms across her chest. They stared at each other expectantly for a few moments before Dina was the first to break the silence.

"Look, I know what's going on," she said in a firm voice. Ellie remained silent, keeping her face impenetrable and calm. At least she thought so.

"And I also know that you're the least talkative person I've ever met," Dina's face softened slightly with a faint smile.

"Thanks for the compliment," Ellie replied, sitting back down and looking deliberately casual.

"You're welcome," Dina wasn't the least bit confused by the note of sarcasm in Ellie's response, though, as always, "I came to tell you that I didn't just mess up your kitchen.

Ellie raised one eyebrow questioningly. Something had already risen inside her, ready to fight. All she had to do was give the signal.

"I wanted to offer to take you out to dinner," Dina's smile grew wider.

Dinner?

"Dinner?"

"Yes. And talk."

_ Oh, shit. _

"Um... Okay."

"Great, I'll wait for you downstairs then."

It all seemed strange and otherworldly. It was as if everything that was happening in the outside world right now was behind glass - outside the fishbowl of ordinary life.

"Already should go?" Ellie rubbed her knuckles uncertainly, suddenly feeling like a puppy who had been promised a walk.

"Yes, freckles, already should go," Dina replied with a laugh, "I was hoping you could help me make a salad and a few other little things."

"Well... Alright then."

Dina waited until Ellie got off the bed and walked out the door. They went downstairs and found themselves in the kitchen, which, by the way, didn't look so shocking anymore. Everything was more or less in its place, except for most of the dishes, which were lying dirty in the sink begging for mercy. Ellie walked over to the kitchen counter, stuffing her hands deep into the pockets of her jeans and not knowing what to do.

"Come on, freckles, don't stand by like this isn't your kitchen," Dina walked over to the countertop and picked up large bundles of lettuce from a paper bag, "Come here," she beckoned to Ellie with a nod of her head, "I need to turn this into a tomato salad."

She handed Ellie the greens and looked affectionately into her eyes, "Will you help me?"

"Sure," was all Ellie could squeeze out, feeling terribly uncomfortable with all the stares and talk. She reached for the wooden vegetable cutting board, trying not to bump Dina's shoulder. Dina grinned to herself once more and began to twirl around the stove, checking the contents of the frying pan. 

Keeping silent was easier than thinking up topics of conversation, so Ellie concentrated on cutting the vegetables, her eyebrows drawn together. She kept getting the feeling that Dina was sneaking glances at her, but she didn't give herself away. 

_ Calm. _

_ It's just dinner. _

_ We'll talk and figure it out. _

Cutting the lettuce was done, now it was time to get a bowl. Ellie looked at the cabinet where it lay and fixed her gaze on Dina's shoulders, which were blocking the way.

"Can I...," she stammered, tentatively reaching for the right door.

"Sure," Dina stepped back with an understanding smile, but not too far, so that the edge of Ellie's shirt still touched her shoulder. Ellie reached for the bowl, trying not to look at Dina and blushing.

_ What the hell. _

_ I hope she didn't notice... _

"When you're done, bring it to the table and grab yourself a wine glass."

Ellie obediently complied and sat down on the stool that stood by the kitchen countertop, which was in the center of the kitchen and demarcated it from the living room. There was no dining room in her house, so she and Joel simply bought two bar stools and dined directly in the kitchen. Dina placed two dishes of pasta and cheese on the countertop and filled Ellie's glass with wine. The stools were side by side on the countertop, so when Dina sat down on hers, she and Ellie were sitting side by side.

"Okay, freckles, I'll start," Dina took a sip from her glass and plunged her fork into the spaghetti. There was an insanely enticing delicious smell coming from the plate, but Ellie forced herself not to be distracted by it and to keep her ears open. 

"You don't like me," she continued.

_ No, that's not entirely true... _

Ellie thought, but mumbled something to herself, not wanting to interrupt Dina. She stared at her plate, picking at her pasta and gathering the strength to articulate her thoughts properly.

"But we live together now, and I really want this life to be enjoyable for both of us," Dina continued. She paused, shifting her gaze to Ellie. There was no response, however.

"But we can't get there unless you help me," she finished and took another sip. Ellie left the pasta alone and looked back at her.

"And what do you want to do?"

"Talk," Dina set her glass down, "Tell me what's bothering you and we'll try to work it out."

It was strange sitting on that stool next to this girl and trying to say the words. Her presence was off-putting and comforting at the same time. The look in her brown eyes was penetrating yet soft. 

Conflicting feelings mingled inside Ellie, and she lowered her gaze to her plate again.

"Come on, freckles, I don't bite, talk to me," Dina playfully poked Ellie in the side with her hand and returned to her plate, poking the pasta on her fork. The atmosphere was friendly rather than tense, so my brain finally put aside defense mode.

"Okay... I care about the mess in my house," it was easier to talk when her brown eyes weren't catching her gaze.

"I already guessed that," Dina smiled slightly as she continued to stare at her plate.

"Yeah, I'm sorry I got a little out of hand...", Ellie remembered the recent episode and shrank back.

"It's okay, I understand. What else?", Dina's voice was still as soft and accommodating.

_ Alright... _

"Your music from hell."

"It's too loud and it accompanies you everywhere, it's infuriating."

"Okay, okay, I get it. What else?"

"Respecting personal boundaries. You don't break into my room or anywhere without knocking or whenever you feel like it."

"I don't seem to do that anymore."

"Just in case."

"Deal."

Ellie paused and took a breath.

"And you don't lock yourself in the damn bathroom."

"Ooo-okay, Mr. Public Order Officer," Dina jokingly raised her hands above her head, demonstrating her own surrender, "Then I have some demands on you, too, for that matter."

"Like what?", Ellie raised one eyebrow questioningly.

"You won't be reclusive and you'll socialize more," Dina said again looking at Ellie's already confused face, "Otherwise, how can we be friends?"

"I guess...," Ellie replied, lowering her gaze to her plate.

"Can you handle it?", Dina jokingly nudged her under the ribs again, which made them both unable to keep from smiling.

"And you?", Ellie was no longer embarrassed to look Dina straight in the eye when they sat so close.

"Let's give it a try," she replied with her wide, white smile.

"Let's try..."

Ellie finally relaxed completely and sat back comfortably on her stool, taking the glass of wine in her hand. Dina looked at her with a smile.

"Now eat your pasta, I spent a lot of time and effort preparing it. And, believe me, it's divine."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading to this point. I appreciate your attention and the time you have invested in reading my fic.  
> As an author, I want to make a few important reservations:  
> \- You will be reading a coherent and fully completed story at this point, with an initially thoughtful and constructed plot  
> \- there will be regular updates  
> \- English is not my native language, so I want to say thank you to my friend Unique for helping me translate.


	3. IN MY MIND

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hello there!  
> The next chapter is already watinig for you!  
> Let me know in the the comments below what do you think about it! I really appreciate all your comments.  
> Enjoy!  
> Next update will be at Wensday 3th.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> English is not my first language, so I apologize in advance for any mistakes and inaccuracies.

The alarm clock on the bedside table went off loudly and mercilessly. So mercilessly that Dina literally felt physical pain from the sound. Her body refused to move or respond to brain signals. But the sound was so loud and annoying that it hurt more to keep hearing it than to start moving to turn it off.

_ Heeeeeeeell... _

Her hand reached for the nightstand and finally fumbled for the phone. Dina missed the button on the screen several times before she could turn the alarm off.

_ God, who invented the damn morning... _

Even though she had reset the alarm several times, her brain was still desperately begging her to close her eyes for five more minutes, to enjoy the softness of the pillow and the warmth of the blessed bed. But she couldn't give herself any slack. Dina sighed and with one desperate movement ripped the blanket from her - there was no going back. 

She lowered her feet to the floor and caught the edge of the pants she'd dropped yesterday. There was a lot more lying on the floor next to the pants, and a lot more lying around the room. As long as it didn't interfere with her movement, however, she literally didn't notice it. If the floor had turned into piles of accumulated stuff, she would have just jumped from the threshold right to the bed and not even paid attention to this fact. 

_ Okay, let's go. _

Dina picked up her pants, pulled them on, and quickly jumped out of bed. Once in the hallway, she quickly made her way to the bathroom and locked the door behind her. Then she stalled for a second, turned around, and unlocked it back. 

_ It takes 21 days to develop a habit, right?  _

_ Then I still have time. _

_ I wonder if Ellie's up yet. _

_ Probably. _

Quickly undressing and ending up in the bath, Dina turned on the shower and made it as cold as possible so as not to let the warm water put herself back to sleep. The cold pounding jets instantly invigorated both body and brain. Thoughts flowed faster, drawing the day ahead in her imagination.

_ Study  _

_ Practice _

_ Homework _

_ Call my mom _

_ Prepare for a lecture _

_ Swing by the library to get the books you need _

_ Learn new moves _

_ Coordinate music for a new dance _

_ Throw practice clothes in the wash... _

There was a knock at the door.

"Hey, Dina, am I coming in to brush my teeth?" Ellie's voice was low and soft as always. Somehow it was that very voice that made Dina's morning a little more fun and pleasant.

"Sure, freckles, don't be shy!" she replied, shouting over the noise of the water. The shower curtain reliably concealed her nakedness, but if it hadn't been there, Dina wouldn't have worried. She'd rather enjoy Ellie's embarrassed face than be embarrassed herself. Admittedly, she liked to deliberately embarrass the redheaded girl by making her feel uncomfortable. There was something childish about Ellie's face at that moment. And Dina liked it.

Ellie opened the door and walked into the bathroom. Taking her toothbrush and toothpaste, she began diligently brushing her teeth without turning around. Dina grinned to herself, turned off the water, and reached for a towel. The steam from the hot water dissipated quickly, and a chill began to run down her damp skin. The girl hurriedly wrapped her towel around herself and jumped out of the tub onto the cold rubber mat. Looking up at Ellie, she managed to notice her looking away from her in the mirror at the last second. Dina watched her freckled face for a moment longer while she tied her hair into a bun. The smile didn't leave her face while a red hue flooded Ellie's cheeks. 

_ She's so cute when she's shy. _

"How'd you sleep, freckles?" asked Dina playfully, forcing Ellie to look up at her again in the mirror. Ellie's mouth was full of toothpaste, so she just held up the thumb of her left hand.

"I'll make toast. Shall I make you with some peanut butter?"

Ellie's face stretched into an innocent, childlike smile. Toothpaste foamed at the corners of her lips.

"Okay," Dina smiled back, "I'll make the toast, you'll make the coffee." 

Ellie held her thumb up once more and spat the paste into the sink.

Once in her room, Dina threw off her towel, put on her underwear and tank top, and started looking for matching pants. She adored loose jeans, which gave her a feeling of complete freedom of action and movement. However, her closet was not limited to sports and loose-fitting clothes. Dina skillfully wore different looks and could look high both in jeans and in a dress, which skill she was always proud of and used. But now there was no time and no need to think and choose. Stopping her eyes on her usual pants, the girl quickly jumped into them and hurriedly began drying her hair with a towel. Thoughts of the day ahead returned and began to swarm haphazardly in her head again, she wanted to go downstairs quickly, not to be alone in her empty room. 

The great smell of coffee was already wafting through the kitchen when Dina finally came down. Ellie was standing at the stove, meditating over the cezve as usual. She was wearing her usual worn jeans and a plaid flannel shirt that was rolled up to her elbows and hung loosely below her waist. Dina quietly crept up behind her and slid her arms around Ellie's shoulders. She jumped in place in surprise.

"Jesus! You're going to give me a heart attack!" exclaimed Ellie, turning her head. Dina couldn't contain her laughter, slowly removing her hands from her friend's tense shoulders. "Having fun?"

"Oh yes," Dina replied contentedly and walked over to the refrigerator, taking out everything she needed to make toast. She loved starting her mornings with Ellie in the kitchen, inhaling the smell of coffee, leisurely making breakfast, and chatting about things. Though Ellie still didn't talk much, they talked more than before. The tension between them was almost gone, and Dina felt like she had finally found the key to trust. It was just the first steps, and Ellie still often shut herself in her room alone with her guitar or spent time in the garage instead of exchanging the news of the day. But that didn't hurt Dina's feelings. She felt Ellie wasn't doing it out of weakness for fear of communication, but out of the power of being alone. She needed it, and Dina respected it.

"I had such a dream! I was driving a big boat, and we had to catch huge sharks..." Dina chirped, spreading butter on toast. Ellie, meanwhile, was already pouring coffee into mugs. "But we weren't sailing on the sea, we were sailing on asphalt! And there was a wide road with a stream of traffic...", she handed one toast to Ellie, and Ellie put a mug of coffee next to her. "And I was trying not to crash into anyone and at the same time not to lose sight of the fin in the distance...", she sipped from her mug, "And then I realized I wasn't riding a boat, but on my own cushion, and it was freaking weird."

Dina looked up and realized that Ellie had been listening to her very intently the whole time. She was chewing her toast and studying Dina's face earnestly and expectantly.

"And then what happened? Did you catch a shark?" asked Ellie. Dina blinked. She hadn't expected her story to arouse interest or any questions.

"Uh, nope..." 

"Damn, too bad," Ellie said, and Dina couldn't help but smile.

"What?"

"Nothing, freckles, it's just really cute."

"Oh, shut up..." Ellie's cheeks began to blush, and she turned back to the sink and began washing her already empty mug. 

"No, really, you always listen so carefully," Dina hastened to explain with a smile, "And even when I tell you about some nonsense, you always treat it as something worthy of attention."

"If you talk about it, then it's not nonsense and it worthy of attention," Ellie concluded. Her voice sounded softer and lower than usual.

_ Oh... _

Dina didn't know what to answer. She wasn't used to this kind of attitude toward herself and her words. But Ellie clearly wasn't trying to look better in her eyes, she really thought she was. 

_ What was hidden in this girl? _

Dina wanted more and more to know about Ellie. Where did she get that calm, judicious, and independent of other people's company? What was she thinking? So many questions and so few answers. Dina glanced at her watch between her thoughts.

_ Ten minutes past eight... _

_ Wait... _

_ TEN PAST EIGHT! _

"God, I'm already late!" she exclaimed, almost dropping the rest of the toast from her hand. As if to prove it, the phone vibrated in her pocket. Dina quickly pulled her cell phone out of her pocket and glanced at the screen.

[Mel 7:10: 

If you're not there in five minutes, I'll kick your ass]

_ Shit... _

"Gotta go, freckles, see you tonight!" with those words Dina dashed through the kitchen and living room, passing her bag off the floor and putting her jacket on one arm. Ellie only had time to respond with a humble "bye" before she was out on the street.

Three minutes later, she was already at the spot where she and Mel met almost every morning before the school day started. The rush, the noise, and the people around immediately plunged Dina into the chaos of the day ahead. She jumped up to Mel, holding out her fist to greet her.

"Sorry, damn..."

"You owe me cheesecake at lunch," Mel pronounced, folding her arms across her chest. "Now catch your breath and pull yourself together, we have a very important test today. I hope you're ready?"

"Don't ask."

  
  


*************************************************

Droplets of sweat drew wet trails on the surface of the skin. The heart was pounding furiously in the chest. The breathing was fast and hot.

"Stop! One more time!"

Dina rested her palms on the top of her thighs, bending in half and regaining her breath. Her tank top was sticking to her body on her back and chest, and so were all the guys who were on the set with her, rehearsing a new dance. Mel was on her right; she, too, was panting and brushing her hair away from her forehead with the back of her hand. 

"Marlene, give us a five-minute break, we've been rehearsing for an hour!" a voice came from the back row. The tall black girl who stood in the front row looked back at her team, leaned her arms to her sides, and looked expectantly at everyone. Her skin was a dark chocolate color, dotted with drops of sweat, and the muscles underneath were well defined and made as if they were made of steel. Dina looked behind her and saw everyone, without exception, looking at Marlene with flushed, sweat-wet faces and pleading eyes. The black girl turned away, walked slowly over to the big boom box that stood next to her, pressed the pause button, and nodded briefly.

"Five minutes!"

The guys began to scatter to the sides, some falling over right where they were, spreading their legs and arms out to the sides. Dina beckoned Mel after her and headed to the edge of the sports field they'd chosen for their rehearsals. The perimeter was strewn with things, backpacks, and heated bodies, some pouring water on themselves straight from a bottle, some showing off new moves, smiles and laughter on their faces in spite of their fatigue. Dina walked over to her backpack and flopped down next to it, pulling out a water bottle at the same time. 

"Marlene's been wanting us dead lately," Mel groaned, dropping down beside her.

"The competition's coming up, we have to be ready," Dina replied, taking a few greedy sips from the bottle, "That's what she's stressing about."

"I understand, but I'll die soon," Mel leaned back not worrying about getting her wet T-shirt dirty.

"Live," Dina replied briefly, and threw her water bottle at Mel's stomach. She caught it and gave it a thumbs up. The girls grinned at each other and relaxed into the most comfortable positions possible, catching every second of rest. 

The sun was already setting on the horizon, beams of gold falling on the pavement and the faces of those around her. Dina, too, put her face in those warm rays and closed her eyes. Her body was happy to exert itself, and her head was completely empty. She loved that feeling between fatigue and pleasure, there was nothing to confuse it with and nothing to replace it. Only two things in her life gave her that feeling: dancing and sex.

"Hey, those pretty boys seem to have your attention," Dina heard a voice next to her. 

Another girl from her team came over to get her bag, winked, and stepped back to her friends. Dina looked at Mel, who also moved in response to those words, and they turned around with curiosity. Outside the athletic field there were two guys standing behind the net, smiling at them. They were tall in basketball uniforms and with a ball in their hands. Dina raised one eyebrow expectantly and armed herself with her most seductive smile. The guys perked up and started talking over each other.

"I like the one on the left," Dina said, slowly looking away from the blond guy who was smugly pounding the ball on the pavement, saying something to his friend and not taking his eyes off the girls. "What about you?"

"You know my heart is busy," Mel pointed out, leaning back again and covering her eyes. Dina rolled hers in response.

"By the time Owen pays attention to you, you'll have time to wrinkle and get moldy."

"I'm ready to wait."

"Boooooring," Dina stretched out in response.

"I'm not like you, D, I'm looking for romance, not quick dates," Mel said without opening her eyes.

"And who's looking for a quick date around here? I just don't pass up opportunities if I have an interest."

"You always have interest."

"Well, what can I say, I just have luck with interesting guys," Dina smirked toward Mel and turned again to the guys who had already settled on a nearby bench, clearly intent on watching them work out. "Looks like we have an audience now."

"Have you ever wanted to be alone?", Mel opened her eyes and looked at Dina. "I mean, for real, without a relationship or a quick date."

Dina hadn't expected such a question and was caught off guard.

"Uh... Well, you know, I don't really like being single," she answered honestly. "When you're alone, you get these... what do you call them..."

"Thoughts?"

"Exactly."

Mel laughed, opening her eyes again.

"You're the fidgetiest person I know. But you realize you can't run away from yourself, don't you?"

"I guess. But I'll keep trying."

"We're on in a minute!", Marlene's voice echoed around the set, and everyone around her stirred in their seats. A cell phone buzzed from the backpack. Dina reached for the zipper and pulled out the phone.

"Oh crap... Hi, Mom!"

"Hi, little girl! How's school going?"

"Good, lots of interesting..."

"There's no way you can lose this place, daughter, you know that. All your time should be spent studying."

"I know, Mom, I'm trying."

"Dad is working his last breath to pay for your schooling. I'm really worried about you."

"Don't worry, Mom."

"So interest is clearly not what he expects to hear."

Dina pulled herself away from this rebuke and tried to move the conversation in a more positive direction.

"I'm just in the middle of a rehearsal. Do you want me to videotape us dancing?" she asked with hope in her voice.

"That's not necessary, daughter, I don't know anything about it anyway, and I don't have time for it," came the indifferent reply, spiced with a touch of feigned warmth.

"Then why don't you show your father?"

"You know how dad feels about your dancing, little girl..."

Dina swallowed hard, trying not to let the heavy, bitter feeling inside her chest. 

"Okay, Mom, I have to go," she said in a colorless, concrete voice.

"Take care of yourself and spend more time studying!", there was a feigned sweetness in Mom's voice, just as there had been at the beginning of the conversation.

"Bye, Mom," Dina hung up without even waiting for an answer. She knew her mother wouldn't even notice, she mostly didn't care. Anger and resentment began to slowly eat away at her good mood like acid. Dina covered her face with her palms and pressed her eyes hard until she felt pain and saw white blurry circles of her own thoughts. The thoughts were elusive and slippery, like snakes. Sometimes there were so many that they began to sound like background noise, preventing her from stopping at any particular one. That was one of the reasons Dina preferred to think less and do more. It didn't always produce positive results, but it never made her bored. And that was enough.

"Gather round, people! Let's work that piece again!" Marlene was already in her position in the front row and waved imperiously, urging everyone else to join in. The guys briskly took their places on the court and got ready to begin. Dina tossed her cell phone into her backpack and hurried to join them. The music began to play, and the team began their movement. 

Dina's body moved in a familiar pattern, one movement succeeding another, the music once again penetrating the very center of her chest and chasing all the heavy feelings away. That was all that was needed now. Just to move, surrendering to the rhythm and muscle memory. Perfect.

***********************************************

"I can feel the life coming out of me with every breath. Please have mercy and let me die quickly."

"Tell that to your philosophy professor. We're almost done."

With these words, Mel attacked the laptop keyboard again and continued typing at the speed of an automaton. Dina, meanwhile, was lying next to her, with her feet on the wall and her head hanging off the bed with a pained expression on her face. They had been sitting on the bed in Joel's room, working on an assignment for what seemed like an eternity to Dina.

"Who needs philosophy anyway?" Dina continued to whine. She was already insanely sleepy, and she was ready to pass out right there in that position to the noise of the clacking keyboard. Each successive keystroke was accompanied by an increasingly distant sound to her brain. Her consciousness was ready to shut down, but as soon as the sound dissolved into space, a second one would catch up with it. And so endlessly. 

"Don't whine. You've already given me almost all the information and answers I need," Mel pulled the laptop a little closer to her and squinted, "I need to structure this some more...," she drummed on the keyboard again.

This was usually how they worked: Dina would quickly give out a lot of necessary but messy information about the case, and Mel would translate it into common human language and bring it into a coherent form. 

"I demand a break for chocolate and milk," Dina declared after five minutes and slid her back off the bed onto the floor. She spread her arms out to her sides and felt the soft carpet beneath her fingers. Mel paid no attention to her, and Dina closed the lid of her laptop with her left foot. Mel slowly looked up, and their determined and firm gazes met. They were both stubborn enough to know that arguing was useless.

"Deal," Mel replied after a few seconds and took her laptop off her lap.

They went down to the kitchen, and Dina began to make a hot chocolate. Mel looked around a bit and reached for the mugs. The milk had already begun to heat slowly and dissolve the chocolate. Dina stirred it diligently with a spoon, biting her tongue to the side.

"I think I'm hungry. Really, studying takes more energy than dancing...," Dina began to say, but then her eyes fell on the mugs Mel had placed next to her for a drink. "Hey, get another mug."

"What's wrong with this one?"

"That's Ellie's mug."

Mel stared at Dina with one eyebrow raised in obvious bewilderment.

"She just doesn't like her stuff to be touched," Dina explained in a nonchalant tone. Mel squinted her eyes and slowly set the mug down, continuing to watch her friend.

"What?"

"Nothing. Okay, what mug can I take, Captain?"

"Anything but that one. And then clean up after yourself."

"Who are you and what have you done with my friend?"

"Very funny. Just trying to keep order."

"Let me guess... Ellie doesn't like messes?"

"Oh, shut up. Nobody likes a mess."

"Dina. I've known you for a hundred years. Are you going to tell me that you don't like messes? Really? It's your environment."

"Just get another mug and wash it later, Lord."

The chocolate dissolved, and Dina turned off the gas. Mel put the other two mugs next to her and stared at Dina again. A sly, subtle smile settled on her face.

"Ooookey. Lay it out."

"Lay what?" The chocolate was already poured into the mugs and smoldering seductively, but Mel wasn't distracted. 

"You know. I want to know about who managed to influence you," she continued, folding her arms across her chest and continuing to smile.

"Oh, shut up. We just set some rules to make everyone comfortable, that's all," Dina took a sip with a nonchalant expression on her face.

"I'm waiting."

"Oh my God... Well... She's sweet and reserved and calm. Always so calm, I don't know how she does it. Sometimes there's this strange inner strength in her look, in her movements. She also makes music and fixes motorcycles. She always listens to me attentively, it's peaceful around her, and sometimes I really feel at home here. So peaceful and...safe or something. She's also very easy to embarrass. I love doing something that makes her blush, it's really nice. Did I mention it's very peaceful around her?"

"Is she pretty?" put in Mel, and Dina hovered for a second.

"Uh, I think so," she replied, thoughtfully stirring her cocoa in her mug, "Wait... What does that have to do with anything?"

"Well... judging by your lively description, you almost had a crush on her," Mel was clearly enjoying their conversation. There was a look of amusement in her dark eyes, and Dina knew she was in trouble.

"God, shut the fuck up. She's really nice, what can I do? I just sometimes wonder what the hell she's thinking. I just want to get inside her head and find out."

It was true. More and more, Dina found herself wondering what the hell Ellie was thinking. When she was standing in her relaxed pose, hands in her pockets and leaning her shoulder against the doorjamb. Or when she sits in the kitchen watching Dina cook dinner. Always so focused. Or when she plays the guitar, making beautiful sounds that come together into a melody. What is she thinking about when she is so silent and listening so intently?

"So you like her?" Mel's voice snapped Dina out of her own thoughts and back into the kitchen, filled with the smell of chocolate.

"In what way?"

"In that very sense."

"God, no," Dina shook her head, waving the thought away, "I like Mark and Roger and that guy on the basketball team. Got it?"

"Got it. Just asking," Mel lowered her gaze and looked into her mug, making an indifferent look on her face. There was silence in the kitchen for a few seconds, and Dina relaxed. "Does she like you?" 

"Mel!" 

Dina clutched at her mug and headed for the stairs, turning her back on Mel.

"What?" shouted Mel at her, following at her heels.

"Just stop it! She's just a quiet nice girl I live with. We're friends. I hope we're friends. And I don't think she likes girls."

They went up the stairs and were back in the room. Dina put her mug on the nightstand and leaned back on the bed with her arms out to her sides. Mel put her mug beside her and jumped in after Dina, hovering over her on all fours.

"You know, Kat's quiet and sweet, too, but that doesn't stop her from..."

"Mel."

"Okay, okay. I just put the idea in your head. You know, people don't always realize right away..."

Dina yanked a pillow from under her head and kicked Mel with it as hard as she could. It hit her on the temple, and she fell on her side like a downed animal. 

"Hey!"

"I warned you," Dina hissed menacingly, and grabbed a second pillow. She was going to get a good kick out of it and give Mel a good kicking at the same time.

"You'll be sorry," Mel replied, grabbing the first pillow and getting ready to fight. They knelt on the bed against each other and waited for someone to make the first move. Dina squinted her eyes and watched her opponent's hands closely. She was good at pillow fights and she knew it. However, she also knew that Mel was good at it, too. She knew how to keep her cool and bide her time.

A few seconds passed, Dina's hand trembled, and she made a false lunge to test her reaction. Mel deftly rebounded her hand, and the game was on. Whoever laughs first or begged for mercy is lost. They moved and rolled around the bed like wolves, trying to get at each other. Dina managed to land a few precise blows, but Mel was determined to counterattack after each one with double fervor. 

The blanket crumpled beneath their bodies, their flanks shifted, and it was time to go on the offensive. Dina waited for the right moment, snatched her pillow from Mel, and threw it at her face. Mel ducked at the last second and avoided being hit. The pillow flew across the room and onto the carpet. Losing her weapon meant losing, but Mel wasn't about to give up that easily. They stared at each other for literally a second, frozen in place, but then Mel threw a warning look at Dina and dashed for her pillow on the floor. In one deft move, she landed on all fours and began advancing like a spider. Dina threw the pillow over her head and lunged at Mel with a wild, primal howl. She caught up with her in two leaps and grabbed her legs, pinning her to the floor. In a last-ditch effort to survive, Mel struggled to reach for the pillow. At the last second, she managed to snag the edge and retrieve her weapon. In one swift motion, she turned to Dina, who in turn had already drawn her weapon over her opponent's head, and threw the pillow with her last effort. Dina saw it as if in slow motion as Mel's pillow whizzed past her temple. Half a second more, and there was a crack and a rumble behind them.

The girls turned toward the source of the sound and saw the bookshelf, which had crumbled to the headboard along with all the books and the ill-fated pillow. They stared at the result of their fight for a few more seconds until they heard a voice behind them.

"Mmm... Is everything okay in here?"

Dina twitched first, turning around at the familiar voice. Ellie was standing in the doorway in a hesitant pose of casual observation. She was wearing jeans and a flannel rolled up to her elbows, as usual. She surveyed the space in front of her, raising her eyebrows upward.

"Oh, hey," Mel hissed underneath Dina and shoved her off. She rolled across the floor and rose to her feet, rubbing her battle-bruised knees.

"Hey, El."

"We got in a bit of a fight...sort of...", Mel began to explain, rolling over on her stomach, "...because of you."

"Mel. Don't," Dina threw a wary look at her friend, but she paid no attention. She bordeaux rose to her feet and held out her hand to Ellie.

"I'm Mel."

"Ellie."

Ellie shook her hand in response to the greeting, the muscles playing on her tattooed right forearm. Her voice was low and velvet as always, and her gaze was calm and focused.

"It's nice to finally meet you. Now I know what Dina was talking about."

"Mel," another word, and Dina was ready to use the pillow again.

"Jesus, okay, I'm just fucking with you," Mel turned to Dina and made a mocking face at her smiling.

"I'll kill you," Dina gritted through her teeth, but she couldn't keep the smile off her face. She shifted her gaze back to Ellie and realized she was staring at the mess on the bed.

"Uh... Yeah, sorry, we've been..." began to explain Dina.

"Doing things on the bed..." added Mel, rewarded with a devastating look.

"Pillow fights," Dina went on, continuing to glare at her friend.

"If you know what I mean," she added again and nonchalantly reached for her mug.

"You're dead now."

Ellie's face flushed a little, and she shoved her hands deeper into her jeans pockets, but she was clearly trying not to give away her embarrassment. One of the books slid off the bed and fell to the floor with a resounding thud.

"That's okay, it can be fixed," she said after a few seconds, "I need a screwdriver and a couple of dowels. I'll be right there."

"Okay," Dina and Mel answered in one voice.

Ellie disappeared behind the doorjamb, and Mel's eyebrows went up. She looked at Dina expectantly with a slight smirk on her face.

"Shut up," the latter warned and began to tidy up the bed.

Ellie returned two minutes later, carrying a screwdriver and something else. She strode confidently over to the bed, deftly hopped onto it, and ran her fingertips through the holes in the wall. By then Dina and Mel had collected all the books and began to watch as Ellie hung the shelf in place.

"Sorry again..." said Dina, but Ellie didn't seem to be angry at all. She looked at the holes concentrically, took a couple of dowels out of her pocket, and started hammering them into the wall with the back of a screwdriver.

"It's okay, this house falls apart here and there," she replied. "So you guys dance together?"

"Yeah."

"Cool."

"And you fix motorcycles?", Mel asked curiously.

"Yep."

"Cool! Will you take me for a ride sometime?", Mel clearly perked up and sat down comfortably on her side of the bed. Ellie, meanwhile, had finished hammering in the dowels and began to screw in the self-tapping screws. She did all this with well-oiled skill and confidence. 

"No problem. Just nothing to ride on yet, but I'm working on it."

"A motorcycle? You're building a motorcycle for yourself?" inquired Dina.

_ So that's what she spends hours doing in the garage. _

"Yeah, building," Ellie replied and turned to grab the shelf. As she picked it up and hung it in place, her biceps visibly tensed and showed under her shirt, "Well, it's done. Okay, I'll get out of the way," she jumped off the bed and smiled at Dina, "If you need anything, I'm at my place. And...", she nodded to Mel, "...it was nice to meet you."

"Me too, see ya!" waved back Mel and looked at Dina as Ellie disappeared in the doorway again.

"You know what I think?" she asked conspiratorially.

"NO," Dina replied and reached for her laptop, intending to get on with her work.

"Okay," Mel sighed and left Dina winning without a fight. 

"That's it? Just like that?" couldn't believe her ears Dina.

"It would be more fun to watch the consequences than to keep arguing," grinned her friend as she continued to smile.

"God, you're insufferable."

"But I write the best philosophy essays."

"Sometimes I think that's the only reason we're best friends."

"Since first grade, baby."

**************************************************************************

"Hey, may I come in?"

Dina knocked on Ellie's door to her room and gently opened it.

"Yeah, sure."

Ellie was sitting on the bed with her guitar with her legs folded. Scattered in front of her were splintered pieces of paper with some numbers, incomprehensible signs, and lyrics. 

"Playing?"

"Just... Pulling strings."

Dina walked over to the bed, sat down across from her, took one of the sheets and began to stare at it. Ellie just watched her, scratching her neck.

"You know, we could make a cool band," Dina said, "You play and I'll lead."

Ellie lowered her gaze and grinned to herself.

"You know, I've heard you sing in the shower a couple of times, and...", she looked back up at Dina, there was laughter in her green eyes, "I don't think that's a good idea."

"Oh, really," Dina raised her eyebrows up and returned the sheet to its place, "It's all about believing in yourself," she concluded. Ellie continued to smile.

"Trust me, this is not the case."

Dina rolled her eyes and threw a crumpled piece of paper at Ellie, which was lying next to her on the bed.

"Everyone is conspiring against me today."

"By the way, what did your friend mean when she said you were fighting over me?"

"Uh... Never mind, she's kidding."

"Okay."

"Okay," there was an awkward pause, "So are you going to tell me how your day went already?" broke the silence Ellie pulled one of the strings and kept looking at Dina.

"God, I already thought you weren't going to ask," Dina smiled meaningfully and sat back, "So, get ready to listen, it's going to be a long and very exciting story..."

She loved telling Ellie how her day was going. A lot.


	4. DANCE PHILOSOPHY

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hey, people! Glad to see you here again!  
> Really appreciate your attention and interest! Enjoy!  
> Next update - Wednesday 10th

The little bubbles slowly swirled in circles, following the teaspoon. Ellie watched their whimsical dance some more and took the spoon out of the cup. Today was her day off, and she sat in her kitchen, enjoying the morning. It was just over nine o'clock and it was quiet outside the window. The city was still filled with morning drowsiness, and only the occasional passerby disturbed its tranquility. A most pleasant time.

The spoon clinked against the countertop and left a small, dark drop of coffee on its surface. Hot smoke wafted from the mug, mingling with the cold air and filling the nostrils with a gorgeous aroma. Ellie put her fingertips to the smoke and watched it break over them and change its direction.

_ Interesting... Dina was awake? _

The second floor seemed to be quiet. More often than not, Dina was up a little later than Ellie, which was surprising, considering how tired she sometimes was. But there were days when she'd black out so much that she couldn't get herself up and could lie in bed until lunchtime. It was impossible to predict what scenario this morning would bring, and Ellie caught herself sitting up and listening, waiting for Dina to come down after all. It was still quiet on the second floor.

_ Damn it _

It was getting more and more unaccustomed to spending the morning alone. Ellie didn't quite know if she liked it or not, but she kept mentally watching the second floor. The smoke wasn't flowing as actively between her fingers anymore, which meant that the coffee was starting to get cold.

Ellie took a sip and immersed herself in her own thoughts. Things were going well at home, and there was almost no clutter. Even when something was out of place, Ellie simply stopped noticing it and just corrected it mechanically. From the day they'd had dinner and talked about everything, the annoyance and withdrawnness had dissolved into a morning smile the very next morning. The inner beast twisted contentedly into a ball and hid its teeth. Although Ellie was still wary of her roommate, she no longer felt threatened by her peace of mind. Something had changed, and that was a good thing.

There seemed to be some movement upstairs, after all. There were still a few more sips in the cup, and Ellie wrapped her palms around it and headed for the stairs. As she approached the door, she unconsciously slowed her step and began to listen. The door was ajar, as always, with a yellow streak of morning light streaming across the carpet. Ellie took another step and heard the sound of light shuffling on the carpet. Dina was clearly awake.

_ When had she had time to get up that I hadn't heard? _

"Dina?"

There was no answer, and the shuffling continued. Ellie went to the doorway and peered inside, clutching the mug tightly in her hands. She didn't want to accidentally witness something personal, but curiosity got the better of her. When part of her face fell into the streak of light, she saw Dina. She was wearing her usual homemade clothes of a stretchy tank top over a sporty top and casual shorts, and wireless big headphones. Dina was moving across the carpet with her eyes closed, cut off from the outside world by the music in her headphones. She was dancing.

Ellie froze in place and stared at the dancing girl in front of her. She'd never seen anything like it. In the absolute silence, Dina's body, bathed in rays of light, moved gracefully and mesmerizingly. Her arm movements were fluid and weightless, like satin ribbons caught in the breeze. Her feet treaded softly and carefully, as if on thin ice. Ellie couldn't tear her eyes away from the sight, though she knew that if Dina opened her eyes she would be spotted. Her feet were stuck to the floor, and it was impossible to resist. 

As she continued to watch Dina, Ellie began to think she could hear the music she was dancing to in her head. It was definitely something leisurely and lyrical. There seemed to be notes on Dina's fingertips, and she was playing them by moving her hands in the dance. If you looked very carefully you could hear it. The girl's movements became a little sharper and more expressive, the climax was approaching, and everything tensed up inside Ellie. Dina stooped lower and rolled over her hip a few times with her arms thrown over her head. Her eyes were still squeezed shut, her lips slightly open to the music and the movements. She made a few graceful strokes of her legs and, in one final movement, brought her legs under her with her arms around them. A moment ago the girl seemed to occupy all the space in the room, but now she shrunk to the size of an embryo, extinguishing the energy around her in a second. A second later she lifted her head and opened her eyes.

The signal that Dina was looking directly at her secret viewer very slowly began to reach Ellie's brain, destroying the magic around her. She clutched the mug tighter, trying to make herself disappear, but her feet were treacherously stuck to the floor. The half-second between the time Ellie's pupils dilated in fright that she'd been caught, and the time Dina's face smiled, it seemed like an eternity.

"Freckles! Good morning," she said with a smile, rising from the floor and taking off her headphones. Ellie still couldn't move and tried with all her might to get her brain to start working.

"Sorry, I accidentally saw... The door was open..." she began to explain haphazardly, but it wasn't very convincing. Dina only smiled understandingly in response and reached for the phone to turn off the player.

"Come on in, don't stand there like a thief," she beckoned Ellie with a nod and sat down on the bed with her legs folded.

"Um..."

_ God, what the fuck. _

Ellie was still standing in the aisle, fighting the urge to escape. Her inner beast growled, unwilling to be tamed and go so easily to the call, but Dina's smile was stronger.

"You should see your face right now," she said.

"I've just never seen anything like it," Ellie replied slowly walking into the room.

"Well, tickets are free for now," Dina grinned and stretched her legs out in front of her.

"I thought you were still asleep. When did you have time to get up? I didn't hear," Ellie sat down on the edge of the bed and took a sip of her long-cold coffee.

"I got up before you did."

"I see...So, uh...what was that?"

"Improv."

"Wow. Why were you wearing headphones?"

"Somebody asked me to be quiet with my music."

"Yeah, right."

"Besides, it's very comfortable."

"How do you do it?"

"What? Improvise?"

"Well, yeah."

"Just like you do. Only you play and I dance. You have to feel. And tell a story." Dina looked into Ellie's eyes and began to examine the freckled face, "Do you want to know what that was?"

Ellie nodded, and Dina reached for her headphones to hand them over. When Ellie put the headphones on and the large earbuds fully covered her ears, there was complete silence in her head for a few seconds. Dina ran her fingers over the phone screen a few times, and the music filled her surroundings. Slow and lyrical, it matched the movements Ellie was watching as she danced.

Dina put the phone away and folded her hands in her lap. Ellie listened to the music and watched Dina's hands, examining the hands and the line of her forearm. Then her gaze slid higher, to her shoulders, her thin neck, and her big brown eyes. For some reason this girl was generating more and more interest in Ellie. She no longer seemed so noisy and omnipresent. She was doing the dancing, and it really seemed to come from the heart. It gave her respect and a desire to get to know this girl better. 

The music, meanwhile, slowly moved to a climax and began to come to an end. All the while, Ellie was terribly tempted to look away or make sure Dina wasn't looking at her. But every now and then she glanced at her roommate and absorbed every detail of her mannerisms and behavior. 

Ellie felt terribly silly at such moments, for there was really nothing wrong with her gaze. It was pure interest in a human who seemed curious. Dina, however, seemed to sense it and looked at her just the same, without any innuendo. And for a moment, this kind of eye contact between them began to seem natural to Ellie, as if they had shared moments of silence sitting across from each other like this for a thousand years.

The music ended, and Ellie pulled the headphones off her head.

"How was it?"

"Whoa... That was... Very similar to what you were trying to convey."

"You know what dancing really is?" Dina's eyes lit up and she leaned forward slightly.

"What is?" Ellie leaned forward a little too, drawn by the energy that emanated from the girl sitting across from her.

"Dance is an expression of thought in movement. It is the highest stage in the evolution of sign language. It is a way of conveying emotion. Dance is...", Dina paused and thought for a second, looking for the right idea, "There are different ways to dance. You can just throw out adrenaline, like teenagers in clubs. Or you can broadcast a specific thought, a story, with an understandable sensual context. You know?"

Ellie just sat and listened to Dina with her eyes wide open, absorbing every energized word. 

"That's the difference between regular club dancing, and the kind of dancing I study. The language of choreography is very subtle and multifaceted...", Dina taked thought again, looking away, "With it sometimes you can say things that you wouldn't dare say with words."

She looked at Ellie again, holding her gaze for a second, and in two seconds she was sitting next to her with her laptop in her lap. Ellie didn't even have time to realize how it all happened so quickly when Dina's hip and shoulder pressed against hers.

"Look," she said and began quickly searching for something on YouTube, "What do you think this dance is about?"

A video of some ballet company performing began on the screen. The dancers were moving around the stage, interacting with each other without words. Ellie hovered for a second, expecting to see anything but ballet.

"Uh... I thought you liked hip-hop." 

"I love dancing, beanpole," Dina playfully nudged Ellie's shoulder with a smile, "So what's this dance about?"

"Mmm... I think there's some kind of conflict... And this guy wants to be with that girl, but that guy seems to be against it... Is this some kind of love tragedy?" Ellie squinted at Dina, worried that she'd misunderstood the story on stage.

"Yes, freckles, absolutely right," Dina nodded contentedly and continued looking at the screen, "You see, a dance has to have character and a story. Look at the way they move, the way their hands move. What are they talking about?"

"Well...," Ellie scratched her neck thoughtfully.

"First you give birth to, form, and contemplate an idea. And then your conception and your feelings are transmitted to your body, which begins to move in harmony with it," Dina closed her laptop and turned to Ellie with burning eyes, "Imagine that all the people in the world have stopped talking or are numb. But they still want to communicate. So what would they do?"

"Sign language?"

"God, no, forget sign language, dummy," Dina kicked Ellie in the shoulder once more.

"How would people express their thoughts, their feelings for each other? Like our ancestors did before they learned to speak? Through touch?" Dina touched Ellie's shoulder, this time gently and tenderly, causing a slight current to run through her skin "What if they're not close enough to touch yet?" she pulled her hand away.

"Then they can show?"

"Then they can show." 

It was a strange moment, and for a second Ellie thought it was all terribly awkward and too intimate to happen just like that. But Dina kept looking at her with her burning eyes as if they had both just realized that they had loved the same mints when they were children. Ellie involuntarily wanted to touch her shoulder where Dina's hand had just been.

There was a vibrating sound in the room. Ellie faintly twitched, and Dina reached for her cell phone.

"Shit..." she said to herself under her breath after she looked at the screen. Ellie continued to sit silently, watching Dina. Dina swiped her finger across the screen a few times and began typing something quickly. Her face went from lively and cheerful to frowning and gray. Her eyebrows lowered over her eyes and her lips pressed into a solid line. 

"Is everything all right?" inquired Ellie quietly. The last thing she wanted in the world was for something lousy to mar this moment. 

"Yes... No... Never mind," Dina answered evasively. Ellie could see that she wanted to hide her real emotions behind a familiar smile and felt the need to leave. But something was keeping her on this couch, chaining her to this very spot, in this room, next to this girl. It didn't seem right for Ellie to leave like that when something was clearly going wrong.

Dina finished typing and appeared to have sent a message. She continued to stare at her phone screen in anticipation and seemed completely oblivious to the fact that she was not alone. Ellie, for her part, continued to sit beside her, trying to catch the slightest change in the mood in the air.

_ Shit, is something wrong? _

_ Should I find out what it is? _

_ No, it's personal... _

_ But maybe I should support her? _

_ Maybe I could... _

_ No, I should just go. _

_ Leave her. _

_ Oh, shit...  _

"Dina?"

“А? Sorry, yeah... It's just... It's Jacob."

"He's your..."

"Boyfriend, yeah."

“О…”

"But I don't think he is anymore. Fucking asshole."

"Mmm..."

"What an asshole..."

_ Boyfriend? _

_ Yeah, sure, what without a boyfriend... _

_ I think something goes bad... _

"Um...", Ellie didn't know what to say or do and just fidgeted in her seat, clutching her mug of leftover coffee. Dina started typing something furiously again, her face hard and impenetrable.

"Okay, I should probably go," Ellie got out of bed and crumpled tentatively in her seat, trying to see some sort of response in her brown eyes.

"Yeah, sorry...", Dina replied, throwing a quick apologetic look at Ellie and continuing typing message after message.

"Yeah, okay..."

_ God, just go away. _

When Ellie was in the hallway, she discreetly shut the door to Dina's room and hurried to hide in hers. The room was as empty and quiet as ever, her hand still clutching the nearly empty mug of cold coffee. The brain worked slowly trying to comprehend what had happened in the last half hour. It all seemed strange, but evoked pleasantly warm feelings. Dina wasn't embarrassed when Ellie caught her dancing. She called her to her, opened the veil to her inner world, shared the philosophy of dance, shared a piece of herself. Such unconditional trust was embarrassing and disarming.

_ Jacob? _

_ Some self-assured tall handsome man with blue eyes? _

_ It was Dina, it couldn't be otherwise. _

Ellie slowly walked over to the bed and collapsed face up on it. The lone cobweb on the ceiling was in its place, rippling with the movement of the air. 

_ She told me with such fervor about the dance... _

_ This is her world. _

_ What can I share with her in return? _

_ I don't think there's anything about me that's interesting enough to be like what I've seen _

_ Improvisation? Music? _

_ No, I don't think so. _

Ellie turned her head to the right and looked at her guitar. It stood peacefully propped against the wall like it always did. The strings stretched gleamed in the morning light, the first two were white and the other four were yellow. Some dust had already settled on the picks and fingerboard head. Ellie sighed and was about to reach for the instrument when she heard Dina's voice coming from two doors down. The clearly overstated conversation came to Ellie's ears, and she felt awkward all over again. 

_ Shit, I've got to get out of here. _

She thought and jumped to her feet _. _

_ Garage. _

Her feet carried her away from what she could unintentionally hear, and she found herself in the garage. It was dark, as always, but cozy. The scraps of conversation dissolved into the noise of footsteps on the stairs, but Ellie didn't want to stay in the light. She wanted to escape into the shadows and preserve that moment of togetherness that had happened a few minutes earlier. She wanted to take it to the most secret corner of space and bury it, like a dog buries a bone, to be retrieved in the hungriest of times.

***************************************************************************

"Fuck you, Jake!"

"Don't be so categorical!"

"Why did you come? I don't want to see you!"

It had been about a week since Ellie had left Dina alone in her room with her phone and figuring out her relationship. And now that relationship did seem to get to her ears against all efforts to avoid it. The voices came from the first floor overcoming the hallway and the closed garage door. Apparently Dina and her boyfriend were either at the front door or in the living room, and were not embarrassed that the whole house could hear them.

Ellie leaned over her bike and tried not to listen. But her hands clutched the instrument more and more tightly, and her thoughts became more and more confused, distracted from her work.

"You thought you could just come over here and apologize?"

"Let's have a quiet talk!"

"After the way you've been assiduously spreading these vile rumors about me yourself?"

"I didn't mean it."

"You did it after we broke up! Did you think that was the right way to get the girl back?"

"You know what? Don't be such a bitch, Dina! You're not perfect either!"

"What an asshole you are! Get out!"

"I'm not going anywhere until we talk!"

"I don't want to talk to you!"

"No, we'll talk, whether you want us to or not."

Ellie jumped to her feet and made her way firmly into the hallway. Once in the living room, she saw the tall blond guy with his face twisted with anger, and Dina, who seemed ready to claw at his eyes. Ellie stopped at the entrance to the living room and carefully assessed the surroundings. This was her home, and she was determined to clear it of any little thing that might prevent her and Dina from living peacefully. Even if that little thing was a two-foot tall guy with broad shoulders and an aggressive attitude.

Dina and her companion didn't immediately notice that someone else was watching their argument, and Ellie had a few more seconds to calculate the situation carefully. The heated situation was about to turn into something more serious, and Ellie felt it was time to intervene. Her inner beast grinned and prepared for a fight. She walked forward with a measured firm step and stopped not far from Dina, who turned her head in surprise. The boy, too, half-closed his mouth and stared at the girl in front of him.

"Who else are you?" he asked in bewilderment.

"You heard her. You've got to go," growled Ellie in response. She clutched in her hand the small wrench she had been working with before she was interrupted. Her knuckles turned white from how hard she was squeezing it, her whole body was tense.

"What the hell is going on here? Is this your new girlfriend or something?"

Dina looked from Jacob to Ellie and back, clearly not wanting to interfere. Her eyes were moist and glistening in the light from the ceiling lamps. Ellie didn't take her eyes off the boy for a second, like a predator watching its prey. She wasn't afraid of him, immediately sensing the weakness in his words, posture, and voice. 

_ He is weak. _

_ Look at him. _

_ No wonder he couldn't be a worthy mate for Dina. _

The guy shifted his gaze from Dina to Ellie once more and opened his mouth to say something, but immediately closed it. It was obvious that he didn't want to give up so easily and was trying to think of something else to take over the situation. Ellie stared into his eyes for a second more before she walked a few more steps and stood in front of his face, still clutching the wrench in her hand. They were only half a step apart now, and Ellie noticed that Jacob wasn't as tall as he'd first appeared. He was barely taller than she was, and he looked miserable up close.

The guy tried to hold his gaze, but gave up almost immediately by lowering his eyes and stepping back two steps, backing up with his back to the door.

"Whatever. It was just a waste of time anyway," he spat and took another step toward the exit, "It's nice to stay."

The door slammed and the tension in the room eased. Ellie turned to Dina.

"Hey, are you okay?" she took a few steps toward her.

"Yeah... Sorry about that."

Dina looked like she was holding herself back from crying with the last of her strength. Ellie wanted to help somehow, but she didn't know how. Any words or actions seemed silly and inappropriate. So they just kept standing each in their own place, looking away.

"I don't know why this is bothering me so much. Just being alone once again."

"Hey, you're not alone. I'm here with you."

"Yeah, freckles, and I'm really grateful for that."

There was a glimmer of that familiar snow-white smile on Dina's face, and Ellie smiled back in relief. 

_ Come on, dumbass, come up with something _ .

"Mmm... Do you want to take your mind off everything tonight and have an ice cream and movie night?" asked Ellie cautiously looking into Dina's eyes, "I've seen it done in movies when someone breaks up with someone."

Dina stared into the green eyes for a few seconds before blurting out a wide smile.

"That would be perfect."

_ Perfect. _


	5. ZEN AND THE ART OF MOTORCYCLE MAINTENANCE

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hello there!  
> Here comes the next chapter! I hope the gaps between chapters aren't too long for you, and that you don't have time to forget what happened in the previous chapters.  
> Events are starting to pick up!  
> Enjoy!  
> Next update 15th Monday 9:00 pm (GMT+2)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> English is not my first language, so I apologize in advance for any mistakes and inaccuracies.

"All guys are assholes."

Dina sat on the couch, wrapped in plaid, furiously picking at her ice cream bucket. On the one hand she tried not to let on that the breakup still bothered her, but on the other, the words and little monologues kept coming out like a punch-hole. Ellie stood over the stove and stirred the cocoa in the saucepan, listening patiently and occasionally keeping up the conversation. She knew that Dina needed to let it out, to erase the aftertaste of the recent unpleasant incident.

"I don't think so," she replied cautiously and noticed that the sound of the spoon picking had stopped.

"You don't know what that asshole was saying about me behind my back."

"Well, he's still in the singular, right?" the sound of the spoon picking resumed, and Ellie turned to Dina. She was sitting there like a pout, wrapped tightly in her plaid and frowning menacingly at her eyebrows.

"Almost all of them are, believe me, I know what I'm talking about," Dina concluded, wagging her spoon and sending another scoop of ice cream into her mouth, "Like you've never met one."

Ellie turned back to the saucepan and remained tactfully silent. It wasn't that she didn't have something to say, but it was easier to let Dina do the talking herself than to answer every line. This method worked with most people.

"Why do you think I'm still alone?" she continued.

"Mmm... Because you're like a pain in the ass?"

"Oh, shut up."

Ellie laughed to herself and continued stirring the cocoa. The steam coming from the surface of the drink suggested that it was almost ready. A little more, and it could be poured into mugs.

"Okay," Dina perked up a little and fidgeted on the couch, "Now why are you still alone?"

Ellie didn't expect such a question and froze in place frantically trying to think of something to say. Silence was no longer an option; the question was direct and demanded an answer.

"Um... It's hard to give a specific reason," she finally said, and begged Dina not to notice this little hitch between question and answer. It was unclear why, but Ellie was a little nervous about the turn their conversation was starting to take. She really didn't want Dina to know the truth.

Dina, however, seemed satisfied with the answer and didn't push it. There was silence in the room for a while, broken only by the sound of the stove running and a spoon scraping the ice cream bucket. Ellie turned off the gas and took a couple of mugs from the shelf. The cocoa was smoky and enveloped her nostrils seductively with its glorious scent. 

"You know what pisses me off the most?" retorted Dina from her couch.

"Hmm?"

"That guys treat their girlfriends like some kind of property."

Ellie poured the cocoa into mugs and headed toward the couch, taking them with her. She set the mugs on the table and went back for another spoonful so she could have time to try the ice cream before Dina destroyed it. 

"Why can't we just treat each other with respect?" 

Ellie only shook her head, deciding to leave that rhetorical question unanswered. Dina continued to talk to her bucket, tucking her nose into it.

"I'd rather date girls than put up with this," she concluded. Ellie twitched for a second when these words reached her consciousness, but she quickly pulled herself together. She walked over to the couch and carefully sat down on the opposite side from Dina.

"How do you think?"

Ellie looked up and realized that Dina had been watching her the whole time, waiting for an answer. Her eyes were sad and, at the same time, burning with an incomprehensible flame. The resentment hadn't let go yet, and she was searching for answers to her own questions. Ellie pondered again, looking for the right answer.

"Do you think there are no assholes among girls?"

"I think girls understand girls better than guys do. I think they respect each other, each other's desires, and are better at feeling."

"Maybe...," Ellie reached out and scooped up some ice cream with her spoon.

"Dibs on don't eat all the caramel!" hissed Dina, hugging the bucket harder and pulling it closer to her.

"Okay, okay, God," Ellie lifted her arms above her head, and Dina loosened her grip on the bucket a little, squinting her eyes. The cocoa was beginning to get cold, and Ellie decided to take time for it, rather than compete for the ice cream at the risk of her life. Dina ducked into the bucket again, but after sending another bite into her mouth, she set it back on the table with annoyance.

"You know, I don't want to date anyone," she firmly concluded, raising her head, "I want to be alone and get rid of anything that might distract me from my studies. Guys included."

"It's not like you're used to being alone," Ellie said, taking a sip and continuing to study the face of the girl sitting across from her. Dina squared her shoulders, clearly cheered up.

"I'm not alone, you said so yourself," she said with a smile, "I'm here with you, and that's more than enough for me."

Ellie felt her face begin to slowly turn red. Either from the hot cocoa or from these words.

_ Stop it, she might get the wrong idea... _

_ Damn, why is this all so awkward again? _

"Okay, I'll get my laptop, I'll be right back," Dina said with these words, rising from the couch and briskly heading upstairs to her room, leaving Ellie alone with her thoughts.

_ At least there would be no more strange guys in my living room. _

Ellie sat back comfortably on the couch, wrapping her palms around a mug of cocoa. The drink warmed her hands pleasantly and relaxed her mind. Just a minute later Dina was already sitting in her seat, impatiently poking at her laptop trying to choose the right movie. Ellie was sprawled out on the cushions beside her, letting the process run its course without her input.

An atmosphere of coziness slowly enveloped their small couch. The lights were off throughout the house, with only the laptop screen and a few dim lights near the front door. Dina was browsing site after site perusing movie descriptions, while Ellie, meanwhile, studied her concentrated face. Small locks of black hair were loose in a tight bun and curled around her temples and neck. Her gaze was serious and at the same time a little childlike, like a child picking out a Christmas present. One of the movies seemed to interest her enough to stop after all.

"Horror!" she proudly declared, turning the laptop screen away from her and showing the poster. The light from the monitor blinded Ellie for a moment, and she simply nodded without bothering to dig into the details. 

"Melodramas suck, historicals are boring, I haven't found any normal adventures, so..."

Dina set the laptop on the table in front of the couch and unwrapped the plaid. In one motion, she threw it over her legs and Ellie's legs and moved closer to make herself comfortable. Ellie wasn't expecting it and fidgeted a little in her seat, instinctively trying to move away, but Dina had already put her shoulder against hers and prepared to watch the movie, gripping her mug tightly around it. The first titles appeared and the movie began.

Of course, a group of young students once again went in search of adventure for their weekend, and Ellie could already anticipate half of the storyline of this movie. But Dina watched it on the screen with her eyes wide open. Sometimes she remembered the cocoa in her mug and took a few hurried sips between scenes.

When the first screamer appeared in the movie, Dina jumped up and down in her seat and nearly spilled half the drink on herself.

"Jesus! God damn it...", she set the mug down on the table. Ellie could barely keep from laughing.

"Are you sure you want to watch this?" she asked with a chuckle, turning to Dina.

"Shut up. I'm not afraid," Dina replied firmly and pulled the plaid up to her chin. Then she curled into a ball under Ellie's side, wrapping her arms around her forearm and pressing her whole body against her side. Her bent knees almost layed on Ellie's lap, and the whole thing made her cheeks and ears slowly start to burn.

_ Shit... _

_ Okay, relax, we're just watching a movie. _

Now it was Ellie's turn to be still in her seat. Every cell of her body felt Dina's touch where their bodies touched. The warmth began to slowly transfer through her clothes and spread to her limbs. It felt good and had a soothing effect.

"You know, freckles," Dina suddenly responded, "It's so nice and peaceful with you. I feel so at home. Thank you," she pressed her cheek against Ellie's shoulder and began to relax slowly, loosening her grip with her hands.

"Um... You're welcome," Ellie blurted out, trying to keep her tone cool. It made her voice sound lower than usual and alien. She cleared her throat and continued to stare at the screen, feeling her inner beast lick itself contentedly. They sat like that in silence for a while as the story in the movie slowly progressed to its most boring stage, the last two survivors coming up with a winning plan to escape the monster.

After a while, Ellie was distracted from her thoughts and noticed that Dina had completely softened up and was sniffling peacefully on her shoulder, apparently having her third dream. One of her arms was still wrapped around Ellie's forearm, and the other lay across her waist. She slept with her knees still tucked in, and her head slowly moved down with each deep breath.

_ Oh... _

Ellie moved gently, but Dina only sighed a little louder in her sleep and huddled harder against her side.

_ Okay... _

It was about twenty minutes until the end of the movie. Ellie slowly pulled her left arm out of her embrace and gently wrapped her arms around Dina's shoulders, keeping her from sliding down the couch too hard. Dina hissed in her sleep and ducked her nose into Ellie's neck like a pillow.

_ Oh, God... _

A second of panic flashed through Ellie's mind, but it faded quickly. Dina's hot breath burned the skin on the back of her neck, making her thoughts fuzzy. The whole thing was unexpected and made her literally cringe with embarrassment. No one had ever snuggled into Ellie's neck like that and fallen asleep at her side. No one had ever breathed so peacefully and exuded so much warmth sitting so close. Dina's hair smelled really nice, and it was hard to ignore. Ellie struggled to force herself to focus on the film. The movie was coming to an end and after another couple of minutes the final credits appeared on the screen. It was quite late on the clock - time to go to bed.

Ellie fidgeted in her seat, watching Dina's reaction, but she was sleeping so soundly that she didn't even move. It was a shame to wake her and, admittedly, Ellie didn't want to let her go.

_ Okay, let's get you to bed. _

_ Slowly... _

Ellie rose from her seat and pulled Dina under her knees. The girl was small and weighed barely more than her yellow suitcase. It was funny, considering how much energy and strength she contained. The walk to Joel's room wasn't difficult, either, because Dina continued to hold onto Ellie tightly in her sleep. When she reached the bed, Ellie slowly bent over it and lowered her sleeping body onto the blanket. Dina slowly loosened her grip on the girl's neck and slid her cheek across her cheek as she leaned back against the pillow.

Ellie experienced a second of panic again, and quickly glanced at her sleeping face. Dina's eyes were tightly closed, and her breathing was still steady and calm. There was an innocent, almost childlike serenity on her face. Ellie studied her features for another second and then her gaze slid involuntarily to the girl's lips. They were beautifully shaped, full, and slightly ajar in their sleep.

_ Hell... _

Ellie swallowed and pulled herself away from her own thoughts. She jumped to her feet and froze in front of the bed, continuing to stare at the sleeping figure.

_ No, no, no, not that. _

_ Don't even think about it. _

She hurried around the bed, grabbed the edge of the blanket, and threw it over Dina. Taking one last look and making sure everything was all right, Ellie hurried out of the room and into her own. Throwing herself on the bed and wrapping herself in a blanket, she tried to relax and distract herself so she could fall asleep. But her thoughts kept returning to the emotions she had felt before, and the warmth of the girl beside her. It seemed like the entire left side of her body already missed that warmth and for the first time she felt deprived of something. Something important. The inner beast whimpered wistfully, and Ellie opened her eyes, looking into the darkness in front of her.

_ Fuck... _

*********************************************************************************

  
  


Working on the motorcycle had always been the best way for Ellie to distract herself and clear her head of anything that wasn't related to the work. Even the guitar wasn't as freeing, because as soon as her fingers started to play a familiar tune they'd played a thousand times, her thoughts flew to where it was most exciting. The guitar gave freedom for inner feelings, while the mechanics made the head work and concentrate on every detail of the process. 

Ellie sat over her bike and connected the last of the electronics, referring carefully to the diagram in the reference book on the floor beside her, and to the diagram in her head. It wouldn't be long before she could do a test ride before she had the tank and frame painted. Ellie was pleased with the work she'd done, though she was always more attracted to the process than to the result. The bike was already looking very good, especially with the new components that had been recently delivered. The seat still needed to be reupholstered, but that was a detail.

Her knees began to stiffen, but Ellie didn't rise to her feet until she had isolated the last contact. Now all the turn signals, headlights, and parking lights had to be checked. Ellie decided to give herself a minute to rest and walked away from the motorcycle to the bookcase, returning the guidebook to its place. 

There was a knock on the garage door, and a familiar little figure appeared at the entrance. 

"Hey, can I see you?"

Dina stepped closer and lit up the room with her broad, snow-white smile. She had a cup in her hand with the great smell of coffee wafting out of it, and Ellie inhaled contentedly with a full chest in anticipation.

"I made you coffee," Dina held out her cup, "Not as good as yours, but I tried."

Ellie gratefully took the cup and took her first sip.

"Thank you... It's just what I needed."

She wanted to say much more than these few understated words. She wanted to let Dina know how much she appreciated the gesture, the attention, and this not-perfectly-brewed coffee. But Ellie just kept looking at Dina, trying to express it in her gaze and hoping that she would understand without words.

Dina returned the mutual glance and smiled understandingly. She began to look around her, quickly shifting her attention from detail to detail. This time the garage was fully lit and seemed larger than in the semi-darkness of her last visit.

"Wow...", Dina stretched out admiringly, "It's missing big speakers with brutal music and a mini bar."

"I always work in silence," Ellie replied, continuing to watch the face of the girl across the hall. She liked seeing Dina here, it was nice to share her temple of technique and zen with her.

"Why? What about AC/DC and stuff? They're classics of the genre."

"You can't listen to something and work thoughtfully at the same time. You're either completely in the process, or you risk making a mistake. And in a mechanic's job, that's unacceptable."

Dina raised her eyebrows, peering into the green eyes, "Pretty conservative."

Ellie took another sip trying not to blush. Dina began to turn her head again, and her gaze finally fell on the motorcycle.

"Oh, that's it!" she exclaimed and headed toward the bike. Ellie silently followed Dina watching each new shade of emotion on her face, "Whoa."

She walked up close and gently stroked the throttle handle and the rusty tank.

"Royal... Enfield...," she read the writing on the tank and ran her palm over it. 

"Yeah, that's my Bullet. I'm making a Cafe Racer out of it," Ellie added with excitement in her voice. The tenderness with which Dina stroked her bike's tank made her inner beast growl approvingly and sniffle. It wanted to tell her more, to share part of her world.

"What's Cafe Racer?" asked Dina curiously, climbing carefully on top of the bike. Ellie couldn't tear her gaze away and stop to think about how organic her fragile figure looked on that powerful machine.

"Oh, there's a very interesting story there. But in short, it's a lightweight motorcycle for short speed rides."

"Tell the story."

"Mmm, well... It all started around the fifties, in England. Back then there was an active developed motorcycle culture, and bikers liked to gather around pubs and cafes and race to music," Ellie began, squatting in front of the motorcycle. Dina listened intently, resting her forearms on the handlebars and looking down at Ellie. Her brown eyes were wide open and burning with curiosity.

"And there was a cafe in London called Ace Cafe. It had a straight two-kilometer straight road to the nearest roundabout. And bikers used to race from that cafe. They had to go back and forth in a straight line while the jukebox was playing one song. That was the essence of the competition. Usually the song only lasted a few minutes or so, and to be very fast, they redesigned their bikes, making them as light and aerodynamic as possible. If you look from here...", Ellie squinted and drew an invisible straight line along the bike with her hand, "...you can see that the handlebars, tank, and seat are all on the same conventional line. Nothing protrudes or sticks out, it's all put together and minimalist."

"And that's why the handlebars are so small?" Dina took hold of the steering wheel and sat up straight again.

"Those are the clipons. Yes, that's what it's for, to reduce the weight. It makes the handling of the bike a little worse, because you get a little leverage... but you don't need that for racing in a straight line, right?" 

"How did you learn mechanics?"

"Well... Joel had an old Norton, and he used to mess around with it and show me things. And I got interested. He explained that the most important thing is to be partial to what you're doing. To be partial is often considered unimportant or taken for granted. But that's the most important thing in any business.

"A whole philosophy... I think mechanics is a hell of a thing, I certainly wouldn't be good at it."

"No, it's not complicated. You have to feel the vehicle. You see, it's not enough to just read the manual or know how things work. You have to want to solve the problem. You have to know your bike to be able to listen to it."

Ellie moved closer and put her hand on the tank, slowly running her palm over it. The rough, rusty surface rusted faintly under her fingers. Dina was listening spellbound without moving or interrupting.

"Every motorcycle has a character that is unique to it. And the longer a bike is on the road, the stronger that character comes out. No two bikes are the same. Even identical models that come off the same assembly line in a few thousand miles will be two completely different machines. And it depends a lot on how the bike is treated. I was lucky, and my old bike was treated well by its previous owners. So it's almost ready to fly again."

"Almost ready?"

"Well... I can already do a test ride to check the ride and sound, so..."

"Take me with you, freckles!" Dina literally jumped up on the spot, "Please, I really want to go for a ride!"

Ellie scratched her neck and grinned to herself. Everything really did seem to be ready to go, and seeing Dina's begging face in front of her with her ever-so-cute smile, it was impossible to refuse.

"Okay, dismount," she said with a grin and leaned over the bike, quickly checking the electronics and tightening the knots. Within minutes she had rolled her Enfield outside and left it standing on the step while she closed the garage doors. Dina was literally bouncing with impatience the whole time, like a little kid at Christmas.

"Okay, a few important rules," Ellie said as she turned to face her before getting on the bike, "You hold on tight to me. You keep your feet tucked in right here. And don't panic no matter what happens. When we go into the turn, you move your body with me. Okay?"

"Yes, sir."

"Okay, let's go..."

Ellie got on top and moved a little closer to the tank to give Dina more space in the back. Dina sat next and wrapped her arms tightly around Ellie's waist, snuggled up her whole body against her and rested her chin on her shoulder. Her ears began to burn treacherously again, and her heart beat a little faster than usual.

_ Damn, I hope she doesn't notice that I'm nervous when she snuggles up like this... _

_ Relax, concentrate... _

Ellie retracted the footrest and started the engine. The bike came to life and responded with a loud roar. The sound was smooth and clear, which meant that all the parts of the engine were working smoothly and accurately. 

_ Let's see how it feels now... _

Ellie twisted the throttle a little more, listening for the sound, and squeezed the clutch gently. The bike sped off quickly but gently, leaving the driveway and their house behind. The wind began to rumble in her ears, blowing all her thoughts and worries out of her head. Dina snuggled up into Ellie a little harder as the speed increased to 40 kilometers. It doesn't seem like much, but when the tarmac whizzes by a few centimeters from your feet, the speed feels much sharper than in a car. And this impetuous feeling of flying through space, without windows and doors, when the cold air flows around your unprotected body - it's difficult to describe it in words. That's exactly what Dina was feeling right now.

Ellie picked up speed slowly and carefully, listening for the slightest change in the sound of the engine. The road was practically empty; they barely encountered more than five cars in a few minutes of driving. When Ellie was sure everything was running smoothly and without noise, she concentrated on the girl's arms around her waist tightly. Dina sat unmoved and completely merged with the driver's back. She occasionally shouted something in a rush of emotion, but the wind quickly carried her words away. Ellie didn't want to stop to prolong the moment for as long as possible.

Eventually they slowed down at a traffic light a few streets away from their house on the way back. Ellie put her feet out to keep her balance and turned her head toward Dina.

"How was it?"

"God, that was amazing!" she loosened her arms slightly and leaned back.

"Do you want to try it?"

Ellie herself didn't know how the words came out of her, but she was desperate to give Dina some more emotion. 

"Hell, yes!"

They both dismounted, and Dina took the front seat, leaning against the tank and putting her hands on the steering wheel. Ellie sat behind her, pressing herself against the girl's back, and on the handlebars she put her palms over Dina's hands. Her hands were hot and soft to the touch, and her hair smelled like lavender and floral shampoo as always. The heart began to beat treacherously fast again, and Ellie prayed that Dina wouldn't feel her heartbeat with her back through her shirt. The girl's body felt surprisingly small in her arms. It was funny to realize that so small and fragile she was going to drive a 150-pound vehicle.

"Okay... I'll help and you steer," Ellie said in Dina's ear and closed her eyes for a moment, letting herself enjoy the moment of intimacy, burying the tip of her nose in her black hair. "Ready?"

"Yes."

She slowly squeezed the clutch and twisted the throttle grip a little, along with Dina's hand. The bike moved, and together they gently turned the wheel from the curb to the center of the roadway. Ellie could feel the girl's entire body from her arms to her back tense and taut as a string. She held the steering wheel firmly and was as focused as possible.

"Feel the bike, trust it!" shouted Ellie in Dina's ear as they began to pick up speed. Dina leaned forward slightly, taking an intuitively more correct position.

"Ellie, this is incredible!" she shouted back, and the wind brought her words into the heart. It was a completely new and amazing feeling to hold someone like that and feel their delight and joy with every cell of her body. All Ellie wanted to do now was to keep feeling this, this moment and the warmth of this girl.

It seemed only a moment passed before they were back in the driveway of their house. Ellie smoothly steered the Enfield toward the garage and turned off the engine. When they both dismount and could see each other's faces, it was hard to describe the full range of emotions that was on Dina's face. She seemed to be shocked and happy at the same time

"My God, it was incredible! We were going as fast as the wind! God!" she gestured vigorously with her hands, a few unruly strands falling out of the bun at the back of her neck and onto her flushed face. Ellie watched her joy silently, rolling the bike inside the garage, hoping that her gaze didn't betray what she herself was experiencing right now. Dina was still saying something, but at some point Ellie realized that she wasn't separating her speech into separate words. The sound of her voice melded into one cohesive musical harmony and made her thoughts swirl around the sensations she had just experienced. The warmth of her body, the softness of her hands, the smell of her hair. All of this mixed into one clump that rose in the throat and prevented she from speaking and thinking adequately.

"God, it's so late! I have to get to practice. Thank you, freckles, that was amazing!"

Ellie only came to her senses when soft, warm lips touched her cheek.

"See ya!" and Dina disappeared through the door, leaving behind an aftertaste of something desirable and unavailable. Ellie remained standing in her seat at a loss, touching the spot where she had just been kissed with her fingertips. Her face burned and her heart continued to beat an unfamiliar rhythm. After a few seconds, she backed up to the couch and flopped down on it, hiding her face in her hands.

_ Oh, shit… _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Did you like it? Let me know in the comments what you think and feel after reading it? Did I manage to make you feel what these characters feel? I really hope so =)


	6. PIZZA, FRIENDS, ROCK N ROLL

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hello there!  
> Here we go again!  
> You see the title of the chapter and you already know, YOU KNOW  
> Enjoy and don't forget leave a comment for me!  
> The next update 19th Friday.

_ Oh shit, oh shit, oh shit... _

_ You can't have feelings for your roommate. _

_ It's a very bad idea _

_ Very, very bad idea... _

_ Oh, shit... _

Ellie paced around the room, trying to get her head in order. Thoughts bounced from one thing to the next and ended up piling up in the place where yesterday's memories were stored. It was early morning and she could get ready without a rush, but Ellie unconsciously delayed the moment when she'd meet Dina in the hallway, the bathroom, or the kitchen. 

_ Damn, this is so silly... _

She ended up falling back onto the bed with her arms out to her sides. The bed wasn't made yet, and she hadn't even gotten out of her pajamas yet. There was no point in getting the physical world in order while it wasn't in her head. There was a knock at the door, and before Ellie could lift her head and react, the door swung open and Dina flew into the room. In a few big jumps she covered the distance to the bed and jumped on it, finding herself on top of Ellie.

"What the fuck?!" 

Ellie's face immediately flushed, she only opened and closed her mouth silently, staring at Dina.

"Three words," Dina said, pinning Ellie's shoulders with her hands on the bed, "Friends. Pizza. Party," she glared at her with her burning brown eyes and an impatient smile on her face. She didn't seem the least bit embarrassed by the position they found themselves in.

"What...", Ellie muttered. She was still in shock at what was happening, and she tried to stop blushing. Dina's hips were on either side of her torso, and her arms were still resting on her shoulders. It was impossible to ignore the closeness of her body and the attraction that Ellie tried her best not to think about. Dina's lips opened slightly in a slight smile, drawing her gaze.

_ Oh, God... _

"I just had this idea! Why haven't we called our friends over and hung out yet? This needs to be fixed right away!" she jumped off the bed as quickly as she'd jumped in, and started gesticulating cheerfully. Ellie rose on her elbows and watched the scene in silence, trying to calm her beating heart.

"You get your friends, Tony and somebody else, and I'll get Mel and a couple other guys, it'll be fun! We'll order a huge pizza and play truth or dare!"

Dina's gaze was full of fire and anticipation for her own idea. She looked testingly at Ellie's bewildered face and jumped back on the bed, sitting down next to her. She was wearing the short shorts and tank top she'd apparently slept in.

"You okay with that, freckles?"

_ Friends? Pizza? _

_ And, of course, alcohol... _

_ And Dina... as beautiful as ever... _

_ Shit... _

"I agree...", Ellie began, clearing her throat, and Dina immediately jumped for joy, "...but on one condition."

"Hmm?"

"You don't do that anymore."

"How so?"

"You don't fly into my room and jump on me."

There was a strange teasing smile on Dina's face, the sight of which immediately made to want to run away and hide in the garage. 

"Too bad, I thought you liked it."

She stared at Ellie's already purple with embarrassment for another second and then jumped off the bed, "But whatever you say, Cap, it's your house," and she headed gracefully towards the door grinning to herself, "Waiting for you in the kitchen!"

_ God, this girl is killing me. _

Found herself in the kitchen 20 minutes later, Ellie stood over the stove and hypnotized her cezve while the thoughts in her head kept jumping from one thing to another.

_ A party is not a bad thing. _

_ Why not? _

_ I should tell Tony. _

_ He's gonna bring a ton of weed anyway. _

_ I could also tell Jesse. I haven't seen him in years. _

_ I wonder how that asshole's doing. _

"What's on your mind?", small, warm hands wrapped around Ellie's waist from behind and pulled her out of her own thoughts. Dina glanced over her shoulder and sniffed loudly at the smell of coffee, "Oh yeah..."

"Will you stop attacking me today, Lord?" the embarrassment came in a wave again and made her insides clench into a lump.

"Mmm, nope."

Dina removed her hands and walked over to the refrigerator. A strange smile played on her face again, which Ellie still couldn't decipher. It was an ordinary morning, everything went on as usual and nothing strange was going on. But there was a distinct feeling that everything had changed. Even the air in the kitchen seemed to be different. Dina was methodically preparing breakfast, and Ellie glanced furtively at her, watching her movements, facial expressions, and gaze. She was still trying to make sense of what she was feeling, but she was really bad at it.

_ Why does she sometimes look at me like that? _

_ Or has she always looked that way? _

_ No, it's all in my head. _

_ Now everything is going to feel weird to me because I feel weird. _

_ What am I supposed to do now? _

Dina reached for the cutlery and touched the edge of Ellie's shirt with her hand again. It was hard to tell if it was accidental or not, but Ellie wasn't even trying to figure it out. When Dina started chirping about something, as she usually did every morning at breakfast, Ellie just gave herself over to the moment and enjoyed it, not caring about the consequences. And everything was perfect, and the coffee tasted better than ever, and the toast was crisp and melting in her mouth.

"God, it's been so long! I've got to go! Bye, freckles, see you tonight!"

And she was gone. Hid in the doorway and took with her the taste of coffee and the feeling of carefree. Ellie stood with her back to the counter and clutched the mug in her hands. All she could think about now was Dina's smile and the party to come.

  
  


***********************************************************************************

  
  


"Are you going to help me or what?"

"Can I just lie here and mentally support you?"

"If you eat all the chips, I'll kill you."

"I'm not doing anything."

"I can see everything."

"You're imagining things."

"Ellie!"

"Okay, God."

Dina turned back to the kitchen counter, and Ellie popped another chip in the mouth. Preparations for their little party were in full swing, and Dina was all fired up. She was running around the house, cooking, sometimes handing out errands, and dancing in between. Ellie, on the other hand, tried to stay out of her way and mentally prepare herself for the fun to come. She had never liked gatherings, crowds, or events like that. This evening, however, heralded something interesting, and Dina was literally infecting her with anticipation and excitement. As she ran by, she could literally feel the plume of energy behind her.

Having gone through all the mental stages of accepting what was happening, Ellie simply remained lying on the couch, throwing her legs over its back and popping chips into her mouth from a huge salad bowl. The addition of cognac to her coffee put her body into sprawl mode, and that was as good as it gets. She loved watching Dina, who was mastering her kitchen, as beautiful and happy as ever. Suddenly the inner state was enveloped in the feeling of a real home, filled with warmth and light.

"Which of your friends are coming?" asked Dina, pouring peanuts from the packets into a large bowl.

"Tony, Jesse, and maybe Jessica."

"Who's Jessica?"

"A school friend."

"And Jesse?"

"Also a friend from my childhood. When we all got to high school together, it was a nightmare." 

"Why?"

"Those two realized they liked each other and started dating. And they were always fighting, and I was like a shock absorber between them."

"That sucks."

"Exactly. But then they finally realized it wasn't going to work out and they stayed friends."

"Mmm...", Dina stretched out, "And you?"

"What about me?" Ellie didn't understand what she meant at first. She watched Dina's movements, her arms and shoulders, which were half-open because of the deep neckline of her blouse. Even when Dina was doing ordinary things, her movements were like a dance - light and fluid. Watching them put the brain into a state of meditation and took her into a world without thoughts.

"Was it the same with you?" queried Dina in a cryptic tone. Suddenly Ellie understood the meaning of her question.

"No, no, friends are friends. No love stories."

Ellie stopped chewing her chips and looked at her watch. It was almost seven, and the doorbell could be expected any minute now.

"Which one of yours is coming?"

"Well, I called Mel, and she called Kat, and she called Lev, I think."

"So that makes eight of us."

"If everyone comes, yes."

"Great...," Ellie shuddered at the thought of spending the evening in such large company and possibly being the center of attention from time to time. It didn't bode well, but one look at Dina's happy face was enough to get her through anything for the sake of it. At least try.

The bell rang, and Dina was at the door before Ellie realized it. She swung the door open and hung around Tony's neck screaming hello. Ellie wasn't even amazed by her free and extroverted demeanor anymore, but a subtle prick of jealousy still flashed somewhere in the back of her mind.

"Hey," Tony stretched out, dropping down next to her on the couch and slamming his fist into Ellie's fist, "What's up?"

Ellie nodded silently to the kitchen, where Dina was again setting up a coup, and Tony nodded understandingly in response. They both sprawled silently on the couch and began popping chips into their mouths as they watched her.

"If you eat all the chips before the others get here, I'll kill you," Dina tossed over her shoulder and tore open the package of red plastic cups. Tony opened his mouth to throw back a joke, as he usually did, but then a second doorbell rang, and Dina rushed to open it again.

A tall, dark-haired guy appeared in the doorway, and Ellie immediately recognized Jesse. He was wearing a loose light coat with a high up collar, jeans, and a classic shirt. He always liked to look spectacular but understated. A good guy, hopeful, a young lawyer and the pride of his family. Ellie herself didn't understand how they managed to become such strong friends. But despite his ambition and seemingly at times contrived arrogance, there was something simple and native about him. That must have been the reason for the strong bond that had lasted for years.

Dina greeted Jesse, more subdued this time, and picked up the bottle he'd brought, obviously of something strong. No sooner had he stepped back from the still-closing door than a female figure jumped on him from behind, wrapping her arms and legs around him.

"Hey, asshole!"

"Jessica! Jesus!"

"Always have your back, how many times I've taught you."

She jumped off Jesse's back and glanced around the living room and kitchen. She wasn't tall, but she had a wild temper, and she'd always gotten herself into all kinds of trouble when she was a kid. It was a good thing Ellie or Jesse had intervened in time to get her out unscathed most of the time. However, and all three of them had not infrequently shown themselves in fights and gotten bruises under their eyes when they were a little younger.

"Hi all!" announced Jessica loudly of her presence and waved cheerfully to Ellie throwing off her denim jacket, "Got anything to drink?"

She headed straight for the kitchen and intercepted Dina there, hugging and getting to know each other better.

If these two became friends, there would be only foundations left of the house.

Ellie thought, and with a nod she greeted the approaching Jesse.

"Hi, El," he greeted and extended his fist fraternally to greet her and Tony, "It promises to be an interesting evening, huh?"

"Hopefully not too much," Ellie groaned as she watched the kitchen and realized that Dina and Jessica had definitely found common ground.

"And your roommate's hot," Jesse continued, lolling on the couch and popping a handful of chips into his mouth. His eyes were on the kitchen, too, where the two girls were already laughing and nudging each other to the side as they finished cooking. Ellie tensed for a second, but made an indifferent face in defiance of her inner beast's growling. Tony watched them silently like a sensor tuned to a wide range of frequencies. Ellie knew he could sense any change in mood and tried not to give himself away.

"Don't get burned," Tony teased.

"I'd take my chances," Jesse replied and got up from the couch, "I'm going to offer my help."

He walked confidently toward the girls and started helping them get the ice out of the molds. Their collective laughter grew louder, and Ellie felt a pang of jealousy again, this time a little sharper. 

_ How did he always manage to be so sure of himself? _

_ Damn, all the girls were always falling for him. _

_ Dina is so beautiful when she laughs... _

The doorbell rang again, and since it remained open, three more people piled into the living room a second later. Mel was the first to enter, followed by another girl, and the last to enter was a scrawny, humble kid, holding a six-pack of beer in each hand.

"Hi!"

Mel proceeded to the kitchen in her own way and began to introduce herself to everyone. The guy, apparently named Lev, steps behind her and set his beer on the countertop next to a pack of plastic cups.

"Hi, I'm Kat," the other girl walked over to Ellie and Tony and held out her hand to each of them. She had smooth, beautiful features and golden hair that fell over her shoulders in waves. Kat shook Tony's hand first and then extended her hand to Ellie, looking into her green eyes, "And you must be Ellie. Nice to meet you," she said in a soft voice with a strange undertone in her tone. Ellie blinked and shook her hand in return.

"Me too."

Her hand was soft and warm, the touch felt a little strange and unusual. Kat stared into Ellie's eyes for a little longer than she should have before she looked away and turned her attention to Tony. He ran his fingers through his straw hair making a mess of his head and spread his arms wider across the back of the couch. A sure sign that he was about to impress and say something clever.

"Allow me to say that you look beautiful, miss. I'm charmed and captivated," he began in his contrived jocular manner. Kat chuckled and bowed her head in a jocular nod in response.

"Thank you, sir."

From the kitchen came Dina's tinkling laughter, which clearly stood out from the rest. She and Mel were trying to shove ice cubes down each other's necks. Meanwhile, Jessica was sitting on the kitchen counter with her legs overhung, pouring something from Jesse's bottle into her glass. Jesse didn't miss the chance to be an airbag for Dina, who ended up crashing backwards into him and almost falling over if he hadn't caught her.

_ God, and they weren't the ones drinking yet... _

"And they haven't been drinking yet," heard Lev's voice behind him. He walked around the couch and crouched on the edge, apparently determined to watch from a safe distance. 

"I think we're automatically divided on the level of insouciance," Kat observed as she settled back down on her pouffe.

"I suggest we split them up before they trash your kitchen, Ellie," Lev said quietly. Ellie twitched at the sound of her name and noticed that Kat continued to study her face. Tony cleared his throat and looked into the kitchen over the heads of those sitting on the couch.

"Hey, get your fun in here, we want in too!"

"Well, get ready, nobody leaves alive!" yelled back Jessica and headed toward them with her bottle and a stack of red cups.

_ Here we go... _

  
  


******************************************************************************

  
  


When the fifth round of beer pong came around, Ellie felt completely relaxed and began to enjoy what was going on. They sat four by four and tried to hit each other's glass with the ball. On the couch next to Ellie, Tony, Jesse, and the humble Lev were seated. He sat on the edge and unsuccessfully tried to attack Jessica's cup, who only smirked and hit the exact target in return. Poor Lev obediently drank from his glass and gradually became more talkative. Judging by the looks, he clearly liked Jessica.

Dina sat across from Jesse, and Ellie got Kat. Even though Mel was constantly shoving her to the side and distracting her from the process, she was almost always on target, and Ellie realized she wasn't getting out of this game alive. She herself wasn't playing very well, and Kat was clearly taking pleasure in knowing that Ellie was getting progressively drunker.

The taste of whiskey, diluted with Coke, pleasantly excited her taste buds and warmed her insides. Her head quickly clouded over and her brain began to slowly turn to marshmallow. The atmosphere was more than relaxed, with jokes, balls, and curious glances flying across the table. Tony kept trying to get Kat's attention, but she only occasionally reciprocated and more often caught Ellie's gaze. It made it somewhat awkward, but pleasant. Ellie didn't think about it too much and didn't give it much thought. Conversations flowed smoothly from one topic to another, and no one was left out. Even Lev told a story or two, making everyone laugh. 

"And how did you two meet?" asked Dina to Jessica, nodding at Jesse and Ellie sitting across the table. Out of the corner of her eye, Ellie noticed Jesse immediately straighten his back a little and armed himself with an unobtrusive smile. He barely took his eyes off Dina, and that made Ellie uncomfortable. A feeling of jealousy continued to tingle somewhere in the depths of her hazy brain, but her body did absolutely nothing in response. Every now and then her hand only clenched the glass harder as Dina's brown eyes caught her green ones.

"Pulling each other out of fights," Jessica answered her question.

"Yeah, I remember Ellie got into a fight with some guys and we were pulling her ass out," picked up Jesse. Ellie playfully poked his hand under her ribs and caught another look from Dina. Her face began to slowly turn red.

"She was even more reckless than me back then," Jessica continued, taking a sip from her glass when Lev finally hit it with a balloon.

"Ellie?" Dina couldn't seem to believe her ears. Her gaze filled with curiosity, a firelight flickered in her eyes. Ellie, in turn, began to blush harder and hurriedly took a sip from her cup without a line.

"Yes, she got into arguments and fights like the last tomboy. I can't remember a day when Ellie didn't walk around with broken fists and a couple of bruises" added Jesse.

"All the guys around the neighborhood were scared of her. Even the older ones," Jessica nodded and earned both a threatening and a pleading look from Ellie in return. Her ears were already red and burning, too.

"Is that where your eyebrow scar comes from?" queried Kat. Ellie's gaze flickered to her curious smiling face. Kat, too, was visibly flushed from the alcohol and the game and looked even cuter now. 

"Yes, I was..." Ellie replied, clearing her throat. A smile began to slowly spread across her face on its own, and she caught Dina's surprised look again.

"Madness..." she said, and Ellie's smile grew wider. She shrugged and took another sip without a line.

"You still had that guy suggesting underground fights back then, remember?" said Jesse, turning to her.

"Thank God we were able to get rid of him."

"He offered good money back then."

"What's with the underground fights?" joined in the conversation Mel. She was the most sober of the lot and bored at times.

"No-holds-barred fights. Outlaw. Girls are more interesting to watch, so they get paid more," explained Jesse, leaning back on the couch.

"If you survive," added Jessica. 

"Awesome," Mel seemed to be impressed enough by something for the first time all evening. She fidgeted impatiently on her pillow waiting for the sequel.

"That guy saw Ellie in a fight and then followed her around for another week with his propositions," Jesse continued.

"Well, that was a long time ago," Ellie interjected in order to move the conversation in a different direction. 

"A few years ago. Ellie was even in trouble with the police and pretty serious."

"It's hard to believe all that. You're always so calm. Calm and self-controlled...", Dina retorted.

"Yeah, one day our Ellie decided that all this might end up killing her, and hit the study of Zen Buddhism, and everything changed," said Jessica.

"But it's still best not to mess with her," Jesse added, and got another kick in the ribs. The room filled with general laughter, and the conversation flowed on. Ellie caught herself unconsciously glancing at Dina more and more. Her eyes slid over and over along her smooth and beautiful profile, tracing the shape of her eyebrows, cheekbones, and lips. She loved seeing her around her friends, laughing and happy. Sometimes it seemed to Ellie that Dina looked at her from time to time, too. But that could only have seemed to her. 

"When we were kids, we were always competing with each other," Jessica said, taking another sip from her glass.

"Yeah. But if someone decided to compete against us, we'd team up and be the best team," Jesse picked up and undid one button on his shirt. His face turned pink and his eyes grew misty.

"Remember when those kids from down the block came to our playground," Jessica continued.

"Oh, yeah, we kicked their asses. And so did they... but that's details."

"And the first time we stole Joel's truck."

"The old man wouldn't let you in the garage for another month, remember?"

"Yeah..." Ellie replied through a smile. The memories drew pictures in her head and made her smile from ear to ear. She loved it when friends started reminiscing about their adventures together. It was that moment when you were part of the conversation, but you could remain silent and just enjoy what was happening from the sidelines. Dina gave her a burning mischievous look again, making her heart quicken its rhythm.

"Only one thing we've always competed to the last...," Jessica stretched out.

"Dates," Jesse added briefly.

"Dates," Jessica nodded and took another sip leaving behind a brief pause.

It didn't immediately dawn on Ellie's softened brain what they were just talking about. The sound was clearly lagging behind the image, and that entailed some difficulty in communication. 

_ Wait a minute, wait a minute...  _

"What about it?" piped up Mel. Ellie furtively glanced around the curious faces and realized she was in a very risky situation. Her face, already red from alcohol, was turning purple. She could sense where this was going and prayed to the universe that Jessica wouldn't say too much.

"Similarities in tastes don't make a friendship stronger. Ellie has always been a pain in the ass in that sense..."

"Shut up, Jess..." hissed Ellie through her teeth, trying to save the situation.

"Did you and Ellie like the same guys?" asked Dina cautiously after an awkward pause.

"Nope, Ellie and Jesse liked the same girls."

This time the words reached her brain the second Jessica closed her mouth. An awkward silence that lasted an eternity hung, and all insides collapsed down the stomach. Ellie couldn't believe that it had been said so simply and as if in between. Her gaze immediately flicked to Dina, and the world shrank to the size of her face. More than anything, Ellie was afraid that the truth about her orientation would change anything. 

"What?" Dina's mouth fell open slightly in surprise, she stared at Jessica, and then shifted her gaze to Ellie. Her eyes were wide open, and she was looking at Ellie like she was looking at her for the first time. 

_ Fuck, fuck, fuck... _

"You didn't know? And, you know, our Ellie has often withstood the competition."

Ellie continued to watch Dina's face with her eyes wide open. Even if she tried to tear her gaze away, she couldn't. Dina stared into her eyes for another second and then, perhaps for the first time in the history of their interaction, she looked away embarrassed for the first time. Ellie continued to stare into her face and follow the trajectory of her gaze. First it fell on the cushion she was sitting on, then on the cup.

_ FUCK, FUCK, FUCK... _

"I just wasn't trying too hard then...", Jesse tried to justify himself by putting on a nonchalant look and sticking out his chest. He tried to catch Dina's gaze, too, but she continued to stare at her glass. Ellie lowered her eyes and then slowly circled the faces of those seated. Tony, of course, knew the truth and was as calm and peaceful as ever. Lev continued to stare at Jessica and didn't seem to notice anything else around him. Mel was smiling as if she'd known all along and was now content that she wasn't the only one who knew. And Kat smiled oddly, and it was impossible to make out what it meant. 

"Comfort yourself," Jessica continued to tease Jesse. Tony turned to Ellie and seemed to understand the depth of her confusion and panic.

"I guess I should get some air," he pronounced and rose from his seat, "Who's with me? I have some first-class weed."

"I'm in," Jessica immediately responded and rose to her feet.

"Me too," Mel joined in, and the three of them headed for the exit.

"Do you want to go for a walk?" asked Jesse to Dina when she finally looked up. It was still unclear from her face what she was thinking, and it made her even more confused.

"Yes, sure," she replied, and let Jesse take her outside. Ellie was left sitting next to Lev and Kat across the hall. Continuing to feel uncomfortable, she stood up a little more abruptly than she wanted to and headed into the kitchen toward the refrigerator. Swinging the door open, Ellie pulled a bottle of sparkling water from the top shelf and popped the metal lid with a loud crunch. The first few sips were greedy and slightly nervous. A thin trickle of water ran down the chin and neck, leaving a wet trail behind it.

_ I think I'm in the shit... _

"Are you okay?"

Ellie almost spilled more water past her mouth. Kat appeared right in front of her abruptly and unexpectedly. She probably didn't see her behind the bottle.

"Um... Yeah," Ellie awkwardly wiped her neck with her sleeve and swirled the bottle around. The cold water sobered and cleared her mind a little, and it definitely did her good, "How about you? Having a good evening?"

"Very," Kat continued to study Ellie's face with her soft sweet smile on her face, "Can I have a sip, too?" she reached for the bottle and touched her hand as if casually. Her fingers slid over Ellie's knuckles and then squeezed around the bottle. This unexpected touch sent a slight electrical charge through her skin, driving the alcohol through her blood even faster.

Lev walked over to them and stood beside them, obviously trying to figure out if their conversation could be interrupted. Ellie nodded to him briefly and stepped from foot to foot.

"I wanted to talk to you," he pronounced, then looked at Kat and added, "In private..."

"Oh...", Kat pulled the bottle away from her lips and looked at Lev understandingly, "Well... Where's the restroom?"

"On the second floor, the far door in the center of the hallway," Ellie explained.

"Okay, thanks...", Kat set the bottle on the countertop behind Ellie and touched her hand again with hers, this time deliberately, "Later chatting," and she left, leaving a strange feeling. Ellie's head was too preoccupied with thoughts of Dina and her reaction to try to decipher the gesture in any way, and she simply turned to Lev in anticipation of the conversation.

"Um, I wanted to ask about Jessica..." he began and wrinkled his seat, "Do you know if she's dating anyone?"

Ellie looked at him with understanding and compassion. Quiet and modest, he was certainly fascinated by Jessica's fire and energy, but he didn't realize that this fire could incinerate him.

"It's hard to say, Lev," Ellie replied after thinking a little, "Jessica is like that, one day she is and the next day she isn't. But one thing I do know is that she can swallow you, chew you up and spit you out without blinking an eye. So... if you want to try it, don't take it to heart."

The advice was sincere, but it didn't seem to scare Lev in the slightest. He looked away, thinking something over, and looked at Ellie again. There was determination in his eyes now. He wasn't weak, and Ellie mentally gave him credit.

"Thank you, Ellie," Lev thanked and headed for the exit. As the door opened behind him, voices and laughter came from the street. For some reason, when Dina's laughter sounded outside, the house felt lonely and abandoned. Ellie turned away from the room to the tabletop and placed her hands on it. Her fingers were thin and long, her knuckles dry and rough. It was hard to remember how many times they had broken and healed. The image of Dina and Jesse flashed before her eyes, and her hands involuntarily tensed into fists. Ellie didn't have time to trace and comprehend the sensation before someone appeared behind her again.

"Hey, El, meditating?"

Tony approached with his relaxed, imposing gait and stood beside her, his back against the countertop. He smelled the coolness of the street and the smoke. It calmed her a little and brought her back to her usual state. Ellie took her hands off the countertop and turned to face back into the room.

"You know, having a good time," Tony remarked quietly. His eyes were red and his gaze was directed into the infinity of being. Kat's figure appeared from the side of the stairs. She walked through the living room and landed gracefully on her pouffe on the floor. Tony ran his gaze over her and ran a hand through his hair.

"I'd ask her out, but all her thoughts seem to be on you, not me."

"What? Don't talk nonsense," Ellie retorted, snapped out of her own thoughts. She looked at Kat, and she immediately returned the look with a smile.

"You're looking, but you can't see," Tony concluded, and headed for his seat on the couch. As if on cue, everyone else followed him into the living room and began to throw off their jackets, continuing to chat vigorously. Ellie immediately found Dina, and caught her quick and awkward glance. Dina immediately averted her eyes like a caught thief and said something in response to Jesse's joke. 

"I propose we break up our get-togethers by dancing!" exclaimed Mel.

"Whoo-hoo!" Jessica jumped across the table and grabbed Dina's portable speaker lying on the shelf. Ten seconds later, the room was filled with angry bass and frantic rhythms. Ellie decided to watch from a safe distance without risking being dragged into the dance. She folded her arms across her chest and watched as Dina and Mel jumped onto the couch and began to do the unthinkable. Jesse, Tony, and Jessica quickly picked up the mood and joined in the underdance. It all looked fun and took Ellie's mind off her anxious thoughts a bit. Only Lev and Kat sat in their seats and watched. Thankfully, there was plenty of room in the living room so no one would hit anything. 

Dina moved gracefully and mesmerizingly as always. Dance was her element, and in the moment of movement she didn't notice anyone or anything, giving herself to it completely. Ellie caught every movement, saw every detail and felt every emotion. When she looked at Dina, her head was free of thoughts, and it felt like the best feeling in the world.

Ellie didn't know how much time had passed or how many songs had been sung. She managed to remain unnoticed to the side near the kitchen countertop and quietly watch the general merriment from the sidelines. Thoughts flowed from one to the other and eventually blended into an indecipherable fabric. Only when a slow tune played and Kat's figure obscured the big picture did Ellie return to reality. 

"Shall we dance?" she asked softly and took Ellie's hand, drawing her to the center of the living room. Ellie obeyed, not immediately realizing what was happening until Kat's hands slid down her shoulders and pulled her toward her. The unexpected proximity forced her body into defense mode. However, when Ellie's hands rested on the girl's waist and the scent of her perfume pleasantly enveloped her head, the protection receded into the background. Kat was slightly shorter and snuggled up to Ellie gently but confidently. Her body seemed fragile but supple. Her breath burned her neck. Kat practically touched Ellie's shoulder with her chin and remained silent. They moved slowly in a dance, shifting from foot to foot.

Ellie mentally pulled away from the process and glanced around at the figures swaying in the dance. Lev was dancing with Jessica, and Ellie gave him another mental tribute. This guy definitely had power behind his modesty that could be felt and seen in a situation that demanded it. Tony and Mel danced next to each other, followed immediately by Jesse and Dina. A strange sensation of pent-up jealousy struck the defenses of her mind again, but the smell of Kat's perfume quickly extinguished that feeling. Ellie inhaled the scent, but couldn't take her eyes off the familiar little figure in her best friend's arms. Dina was hugging Jesse's neck and looked simultaneously so close and so infinitely far away.

Either it was the alcohol playing tricks on Ellie or her emotions, but her hands responded by squeezing Kat's waist harder and pulling the girl a little closer to her chest. Kat responded instantly and pressed her whole body closer, hugging Ellie's neck and shoulders harder with her arms. Her brain was giving conflicting and uncoordinated signals that only confused her. The warmth of the girl's body pleasantly warmed and filled the emptiness that had formed in her soul, and Ellie decided to just give in to the sensations and give up all other thoughts. 

The tune slowly came to an end and eventually subsided. The couples broke up, and someone offered to walk someone home, because it was late. Ellie slowly removed her hands from Kat's waist and looked into her eyes. The girl's hands slid smoothly around her neck and shoulders before she took a step back, and Kat looked into Ellie's eyes in response.

_ All her thoughts are on you, not me... _

Ellie's memory flashed back to her. Kat looked away embarrassed and crumpled in place. Something had to be said or done.

"Will you leave me your number? Maybe we can go out sometime," Ellie heard her own voice as if from outside. Kat blurted out an embarrassed smile and reached into her pocket for her phone. 

Everything else was a blur. Farewells, friendly hugs, words of thanks for a wonderful evening. The living room emptied out, and only Ellie and Dina were left in the house. The atmosphere of fun receded, leaving room for awkwardness and understatement. Ellie tried with all her might to think of a way to start a conversation, but everything that came to mind seemed ridiculous and absurd. Dina was clearing the table and trying not to look in Ellie's direction. It felt and seemed unfair.

_ Shit... _

_ Come on, stupid, start a conversation. _

"How was your evening?" Ellie eventually asked, hoping to see the usual white smile. However, there was no smile. Dina's face was confused and withdrawn, as if behind an invisible wall. 

"It was cool... Actually, I'm tired, I guess I'll go to bed."

She gathered up the empty cups and tossed them into a large trash bag. Then she threw just one quick glance at Ellie and took a quick step toward the stairs.

"Good night," she said softly and disappeared into the darkness of the second floor, leaving Ellie standing there in bewilderment. There was the familiar creaking of the steps, then the sound of the door closing, and then silence. A silence that penetrated so deeply that it was frightening.


	7. NEW BEGINNINGS

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hello there!  
> I brought you some tension, seasoned with a spicy taste of anticipation of future events...  
> The next chapter will be almost twice as long as this one!  
> Let me know what you think and feel about what you read here!  
> The next update 23th Tuesday.  
> Enjoy!

The morning slapped Ellie like a slap in the face and wrenched her out of her troubled, restless sleep. The events of the previous day burst into her consciousness at once and began to swarm in the form of fragmented thoughts.

_ Dina… _

It was the first thought that popped up bright and clear, drowning out all the others. Ellie sat up on the bed in a jerk and listened, catching every rustle and movement outside the room. But there were none. Absolute silence, as oppressive as last night. Outside the window she could hear the voices of passersby and the noise of cars. Someone was playing with a dog, a child somewhere was laughing and shouting, the movement of the wind played with the crown of trees on the sidewalk, and all these sounds merged into the single rhythm of life. A life that was infinitely distant, even though it was right under your window.

Ellie continued to search the silence of her house for signs that she was not alone. For a moment she thought for a moment that the door of her room would swing open, a small female figure would appear before her eyes, jump on her bed, and light up this morning with her snow-white smile. 

Of course, that didn't happen. Ellie stared at the locked door of her room for another second while the image of last morning's memories stood before her eyes. Then she blinked, brushing it off, lowered her feet to the floor, and began to dress hastily. All she needed now was to see Dina. Pulling on her pants and hoodie, Ellie stepped out into the hallway and listened again - nothing. Dina was probably still asleep, given the possible effects of the alcohol she'd drunk last night. 

The door to her room was closed, perhaps for the first time.

Ellie went downstairs and hovered for a moment, surveying the space. There was no trace of last night's fun; the kitchen was clean and shiny. There was a plate of neatly folded toast and jam on the countertop, and a white sheet of paper next to it. Ellie jumped up in a few big steps and grabbed it. It was a torn page from a notebook with a couple of lines written in a jagged, sprawling handwriting.

_ Good morning! _

_ I left early, I'll come late. _

_ Made you some toast for breakfast. _

_ There's food in the fridge. _

_ D. _

Ellie stared blankly at the words, trying to spot something else between the letters that would help her understand Dina's mood. But the blue ink was stubbornly silent, and the white sheet felt cold in her hands. Ellie slowly put it back and shifted her gaze to the toast. It all seemed pointless. The two of them had always started the day together, meeting in the kitchen and eating breakfast. Always. And now there was lonely toast, silence, and a few words in a note waiting for her.

_ Is it because of me? _

_ Is she mad? _

_ Nonsense, she's just busy studying. _

_ But it's her day off... _

_ Maybe practice? _

_ But not all day... _

_ Fuck it, I'll just wait _

Ellie picked up the cezve and the can of coffee and began the usual morning ritual. Her hands moved on automatically while her head was filled with unanswered questions that spun around senselessly. It was hard to believe that just a few months ago she had dreamed of such a quiet, peaceful morning alone with herself and her thoughts. Now all she wanted was to see Dina's smiling face beside her.

Her cell phone vibrated quietly in her pocket, alerting her to an incoming message. Ellie lazily reached for it and unlocked the screen.

_ Hi! How are you? Do you have a headache? _

_ I hit you in the glass a hundred times yesterday I guess =) _

Ellie read the text first and then looked at the sender's name in bewilderment. Kat. __

_ Kat? _

_ Uh-h... _

They exchanged phone numbers at the end of the evening, but that fact completely slipped the mind. The girl's face, their dance, and the smell of her perfume flashed before the eyes. There was something stirring about it all, but the feeling was so subtle that it was hardly noticeable. Ellie studied the message on the screen for another second and then put the phone down on the countertop beside her, leaving the screen lit up. The coffee in the cezve had already risen a little and was about to reach the point where it was ready. The foam around the edges had darkened and played with a necklace of bubbles-it was time to take it off the fire.

Ellie carefully poured the drink into her mug and glanced at the burning screen again. The message hung open and was still unanswered. Her hand reached for the phone and quickly dialed the message.

[ Me:

Hi!

Yeah, you're a good shot.

I'm fine, tnx. 

How r u? ]

Ellie didn't think long when she wrote this. She wanted to distract herself from her gloomy thoughts without stressing about the new acquaintance. She slipped the phone back into her pocket, but just ten seconds later she felt it vibrate again.

[ Kat:

Apparently not marksmanship enough for you, fighter=)

I'm more or less fine too, but I did take a pill.

What do you do? ]

_ Okay, this is my chance to distract myself before tonight. _

_ Why not? _

**************************************************************************************

The evening that came didn't change anything, bringing with it only loneliness and a feeling of an empty house. The next few days passed much the same way, the only difference being that they were working days. When Ellie went down to the kitchen, Dina was gone, and the same lonely plate of toast was waiting for her on the table. She came home so late and quietly that it was impossible to catch her. Ellie had even thought of waiting under the door to her room until the last minute to have a normal conversation, but then she shrugged the delusion off.

Time dragged on endlessly, like chewing gum over and over again. One day was like another, and it was getting maddening. The silence in the house was unaccustomed and began to press in from all sides. By the third day of her loneliness, Ellie was already walking around the living room like a caged animal, fiddling with the phone in her hands. In that time she had gone over every detail of that evening, every dialogue and every look in her mind a thousand times. The feeling of uncertainty was literally hanging by the scruff of her neck and preventing her from breathing freely.

All this time she wanted to write to Dina, but she fought with herself, giving up only once.

[ Me:

Hi!

Is everything okay with you?

It's late]

She wrote this on the second day, when Dina still wasn't home in spite of the late hour. She had to wait about an hour for a reply.

[ Dina:

Hi!

Yeah, I'm good.

Training

Don't worry ] 

Just a few lines that didn't answer any questions either. Ellie didn't really believe in such long workouts until late at night, but she talked herself into thinking there was nothing to worry about. And she also noticed that as soon as her thoughts began to drift toward her brown eyes, an incoming message would pop up on the screen. When the phone vibrated again, Ellie already knew it was Kat. 

If only because she knew it wasn't Dina.

The workday flew by and Friday claimed her rights, carrying her through the streets with the loud shouts of young people going to parties. The walk from work to home was familiar and surprisingly very pleasant. It was one of those rare autumn sunny days when it was no longer hot but still not too cold. On days like this, a flannel shirt rolled up to the elbows was perfect. It was the kind of blue flannel over a white T-shirt that Ellie wore as she walked down the sidewalk with her leather bag slung over her shoulder.

As she approached the porch of her house, she stopped and glanced at the windows reflecting the setting sun. The house looked empty and cold, and Ellie knew that going inside would probably convince her of that. She didn't want to deprive herself of her last rays of warmth and sit home alone again. She walked up to the porch, threw her bag off her shoulder, and stooped down on the old, worn steps. Then she turned sideways and leaned her back against the railing, making herself comfortable. The wood creaked approvingly and sagged subtly.

It was nice to sit down and relax in the fresh air after a full day's work. The sneaker-clad feet were a little humming and demanded freedom. Ellie rested her toe on the heel of her other foot and kicked one sneaker off, wiggling her toes. And she didn't care if the white sock got dirty on the dusty street step-the pleasure was worth it.

The phone vibrated in her jeans pocket. Ellie reached for it and opened the message. It was from Jesse.

[ Jesse:

Hi!

What can I do to impress your roommate?

I really want to impress her xD]

_ What? Really? _

_ Wait... So maybe Dina's been spending all this time with Jesse? _

_ Uh, no... _

_ But there's obviously some kind of chemistry between them. _

_ The day they met, they were together all the time. _

_ Shit... _

Ellie blocked the phone and leaned her head back on the railing with her eyes closed.

_ What am I doing? _

_ Why am I even thinking about all this? _

_ Because I miss her. _

_ And also because... _

[ Jesse:

I need an answer preferably now, just in case ]

_ Oh, fuck off... _

An unexpected wave of irritation flooded her mind, and the feeling of a pleasant evening dissolved with the first gust of cool autumn wind. Ellie flung the phone away from her irritably on the next step and reached for her sneaker to put it back on. Thoughts began their pointless race once more-it all seemed eerily unfair. Her and Dina's life together had just gotten better, everything was perfect. It seemed as if the universe was mocking her, giving her something very precious to hold, and then taking it away.

Suddenly the sound of a second-floor window opening came to her ears. The second floor of her house. 

_ Dina. _

_ She's home. _

The windows of her room faced the street, and Ellie looked up to see if she was mistaken. Then she jumped up from her seat, hurriedly slipping her sneaker over her foot, grabbed her bag and phone, and dashed for the house. Within seconds she was upstairs in front of the door to Joel's room, frantically trying to figure out how to start a conversation.

"Dina? Can I come in?" Ellie tapped her knuckles on the door and cautiously peeked inside.

"Oh... Hi," Dina sat on the bed with a textbook in her hands and looked distractedly at Ellie who appeared in the doorway. There was embarrassment and an awkward smile on her face, "Are you home yet?" she quickly shifted her gaze to the desk clock and slammed the book shut, "Oh, it's so late! I have to go."

Dina jumped off the bed and began putting her textbook in her bag along with her other books, trying not to look at Ellie who remained standing in the doorway, leaning against the jamb and shoving her hands in her pockets. 

"Are you okay?" 

"Um... Yeah. Why do you ask?"

"Well... You're hardly ever home."

Dina pulled a few things out of her closet and quickly undid the button on her jeans, but then looked up confused at Ellie.

"Can you..."

"Oh... Sure. Sorry," Ellie turned her back to the room, leaning against the jamb with her other shoulder.

_ Is she embarrassed to change clothes in front of me? Since when? _

"How is study going?" she tossed over her shoulder. There was the sound of a zipper being zipped.

"Good. You can turn around."

Ellie returned to her previous pose and continued to glare at Dina. She was already dressed in tight dark jeans and a tight tank top that accentuated her trim figure. She quickly grabbed something from the table and headed for the exit, still avoiding eye contact. An animal confidence suddenly rose within Ellie, and she raised her hand at the last moment, pressing against the opposite jamb and blocking the way.

"Wait," she said, and Dina managed to stop before she swooped down on her hand and froze in place in the aisle, "Can we talk?"

She was standing very close, her bare shoulder a few inches from Ellie's chest. An awkward pause hung in the air and made her almost regret the insistent gesture. Dina slowly looked up and calmly placed her hand on her tattooed forearm. Her palm was soft and warm, the touch sent goosebumps running, and the animal energy immediately resignedly settled somewhere inside.

"I really have to go," Dina said slowly, this time keeping her gaze steady and gently moving Ellie's hand out of her way. A faint embarrassment continued to be heard in her voice, and her cheeks turned a little pink. Ellie continued to look into her brown eyes, trying to find a response in them. But all she heard in response was the pounding of her own heart. Her arm fell down and hung uselessly along her body. The feeling of the small, warm palm still burned through my skin.

Dina glanced between Ellie's eyes for another second before she quickly headed for the bathroom. 

_ Shit... _

"Dina..."

The doorbell rang.

_ What the hell... _

Ellie growled and headed downstairs to open the door. She was ready to pounce on whoever was waiting for her outside until she saw the familiar black hair and mischievous look.

"Jesse? What are you doing here?"

"Hello to you, too," he replied cheerfully, "I'm here for Dina. Will you get her?"

"What?"

"You haven't responded to my messages, by the way. Maybe now you can tell me how to impress your friend.", he leaned forward a little and added in a conspiratorial whisper, "I really mean it."

Ellie looked at Jesse with wide open eyes and a dumbfounded face. Her eyebrows crept upward on their own and her mouth dropped open in bewilderment.

"So you're on, like... a date?" she finally asked.

"Yeah," Jesse smiled contentedly. When he was pleased with himself, he resembled a cat that had had enough sour cream, "So you'll help me?"

The chest began to tighten, and rudeness began to swirl on the tongue. She wanted to pounce on Jesse and wipe that satisfied smirk off his face.

"No," Ellie eventually cut him off, folding her arms across her chest. Jesse frowned for a second, but then his face lit up with understanding, and he smiled again.

"Ahhhh... I get it."

"What?"

"You like her, too. Right?"

A current ran through her body, making every muscle tense.

"What? What the fuck kind of nonsense is that?"

"You want to compete again?"

"Geez..."

"Just like old times, huh?"

"Don't be a jerk."

Ellie rolled her eyes and turned away from Jesse, glancing toward the stairs. 

"Game on," Jesse whispered in Ellie's ear, but she couldn't hear him anymore. She watched as Dina walked gracefully downstairs, slinging a light bag over her shoulder. Her hair was in a neat bun, her face lightly makeup and an embarrassed smile. She walked over to Jesse and Ellie, who were dazed, and stood beside them, looking from one to the other.

_ She's beautiful... _

"Hi."

"Hi! You look beautiful! Ready?"

"Yeah."

Dina looked at Ellie once more with embarrassment, looked away, and put her hand in Jesse's outstretched palm. Her cheeks and neck took on a noticeable pink hue.

"See you later, El," Jesse said goodbye and led Dina outside, leaving Ellie standing in the aisle. Dina didn't say anything, and Ellie didn't say goodbye back.

***********************************************************************************

_ No, I'll talk to her. _

_ Tonight. _

_ I don't care how long I have to wait. _

And the wait was really long. With each passing hour, it was becoming more and more lousy. Time mocked, mercilessly slowing the hands, if not stopping altogether. Eventually Ellie found herself sitting on the couch in the same living room, endlessly counting the five empty beer bottles in a row on the table.

_ One, two, three, four, five... _

_ One, two, three, four... _

_ One... _

The phone vibrated.

[ Kat:

Hey, handsome.

What r u doing? ]

_ Hey, handsome... _

_ What are you doing... _

_ What the fuck am I doing? _

_ Wasting my goddamn time... _

[ Me:

Hi

Nothing

I got five beers in me, but it ain't doing shit.]

The answer, as always, came almost immediately.

[ Kat:

Ain’t doing shit with what?

Are you there at a very boring party or something? LOL ]

_ Yeah... _

_ My whole life is like a very boring party... _

Ellie started to type a reply, but then put the phone aside. The feeling of bitterness came over her so suddenly that she even began to feel anger. At herself, at Dina, at the whole fucking world. She wanted to get herself out of it at any cost. Kat clearly had a thing for her. Ellie grabbed her phone and started texting her something she hadn't intended. But before she could finish, the lock clicked on the door.

The anger faded, and Ellie momentarily forgot everything, staring at the door. It opened slowly, and a small female figure appeared in the opening. Dina closed the door behind her and only then noticed that she was not alone in the room. From the look on her face, she was clearly not expecting this.

"Um... Hi..."

"Hi."

Dina stared dumbfoundedly at Ellie for a few seconds, then shifted her gaze to the empty bottles. Her eyebrows rose slowly upward, concern in her eyes.

"How was the date?" Ellie was the first to break the silence. Anger slowly began to creep under her skin again. It wasn't right, but it was impossible to fight.

"Were you waiting to ask me?" Judging by her tone, Dina had no intention of getting into a verbal spat, "Okay, it's late, I'm going to bed."

"No way," Ellie jumped up from her seat to her feet. The phone slipped from her lap and fell to the floor with a resounding thud, the screen glowing upward. Dina hadn't expected such a twist and froze halfway in the middle of the living room.

"I know what's going on," Ellie continued, "You've been avoiding me since that night when..."

The words stuck in her throat, and her thoughts jumped from one thing to another in no way wanting to cohere into a coherent sentence. 

"When you found out I liked girls," she finally added. Her heart beat faster and started pounding in her head and ears. Dina opened her mouth to respond, but Ellie prevented her from doing so.

"You know, I'm not going to pounce on you or anything if you're worried."

There was a second pause.

"No, I'm not at all..."

"You've been avoiding me, not showing up at home, leaving notes. We haven't exchanged ten words since that day. I...”

_ I miss... _

"I... I mean, we can just be friends, talk like we used to..."

_ I miss that so much... _

There was an oppressive silence in the room. Ellie didn't know what else to add. There was so much she wanted to say all these days, but now the words were gone, leaving a dry residue behind. Dina stared at her with her eyes wide open and her face childishly surprised. Her lips opened slightly, and Ellie involuntarily wondered if Jesse had kissed them today.

"Look... I'm not avoiding you. It's just something I needed to figure out...in myself. Plus, I've really had a lot of training these days. We have a competition tomorrow, so..."

_ Figuring herself out? _

_ She was always so confident, and suddenly she needs figuring herself out? _

She leaned her hands on the back of her chair, shifting from foot to foot.

"I thought you'd never notice that I wasn't home. Kat said you've been hanging out a lot lately..."

Ellie lowered her eyes and scratched her neck. She didn't want to think about Kat right now, it didn't seem right.

"Yes, we do communicate. So you're...uh...not mad at me or anything?"

"No! Of course not," the long-awaited smile that Ellie had missed so much appeared on Dina's face. She couldn't help herself and smiled awkwardly back. Every cell of her body wanted to come up to Dina and embrace her, to breathe in the smell of her hair and feel the warmth of her body. But something inside kept her from doing so, and Ellie remained standing still smiling like an embarrassed teenager.

"Are you coming?" asked Dina.

"What?"

"To the competition."

"Ah... Yes, of course."

"Jesse will be there. You can get Kat if you want."

"Um... Yeah... I guess..."

"Okay..."

"Okay..."

They caught each other's eyes and grinned awkwardly to themselves again. Ellie wanted to hold Dina in this very spot and ask her about every minute of every minute of every day they spent away from each other. Despite the fact that almost nothing had happened during that time, the winds of change raged in her soul. They tore down the old pillars and tore down the ramshackle structures of past feelings and thoughts, making way for new ones. Where the presence of this little smiling girl in this house was one of the pillars of mental equilibrium.

"Okay, I'm going to bed," Dina ripped her palms off the back of her chair and took two steps with her back to the stairs, "Good night, freckles."

_ Freckles... _

"Good night..."

And she left, leaving Ellie alone again with her thoughts. Her heartbeat subsided, and her body slowly sank back onto the couch. Her gaze fell to the floor where her cell phone lay. There was still a message hanging on the screen that had never been sent. Ellie looked at the text and marveled at what she'd been ready to write just a few minutes ago. Now those long hours of waiting and that dreary state seemed so far away, as if it had been a lifetime ago. Her hand reached for the phone and wiped away the text, quickly typing in a new one.

[ Me:

Hey, do you want to go to the dance competition with me tomorrow? ]

The answer, as always, came in less than a minute.

[ Kat:

Anywhere with you, handsome.]

_ Okay... _

_ Dina and Jesse. _

_ Me and Kat. _

_ I think it's a new beginning. _

_ Maybe it'll be better than the last one. _


	8. THE STREETS

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Well, hello there!  
> I brought you some new emotions!  
> Don't forget to share your thoughts about the chapter with me and enjoy!  
> Next update - Monday, 1th

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> English is not my first language, so I apologize in advance for any mistakes and inaccuracies.

"Maybe it'll be better than the last ones..."

"Are you kidding? They're hopelessly spoiled... Too much cocoa powder."

Dina took the waffles out of the waffle iron and tossed them on the plate irritably. It was an intimidating dark brown color and threatened to bite the finger off anyone who touched it. Ellie squinted at the waffles and shifted her sympathetic gaze to Dina's angry face. She was beautiful even when she was angry. Her black eyebrows dipped and converged on the bridge of her nose, casting a slight shadow over her eyes and long lashes. There was tension even in the curls of hair that fell unruly across her forehead. It was a warning to stay away and appealing at the same time.

"Let me try." 

Ellie hooked her fingers into one of the two waffles that were still hot and took a bite. The pungent taste of bitterness immediately attacked her tongue, and she had to do her best not to wince. 

"Mmm... Well... It's not that bad," she squeezed out, chewing and swallowing the piece of waffle in spite of her desire to spit it out and flush her mouth with water. 

"Don't lie to yourself and me," Dina immediately replied, tossing the waffles into the trash. Her movements were sharp, but her face softened a little nonetheless. She inadvertently grazed Ellie's thigh as she bent over with the plate in her hands, and immediately recoiled.

"Sorry..."

All their movements in the kitchen were now done without touching each other. Dina was careful not to touch Ellie when she took out a plate or a mug, and Ellie, in turn, did not break this unspoken new rule. She missed the occasional touch and the deliberate attacks from behind in the form of hugs a little, but in the face of recent events she was happy just to start the morning together as before, albeit with so few restrictions.

Dina got the milk out of the fridge and began kneading a new batch of dough. The waffle iron was heating and hissing to no avail, and Ellie pulled the plug out of the socket.

"Nervous?"

"A little..."

Today was the day of the very competition that was so important to Dina and her team. Support was the one and only thing she needed right now.

"It's going to be okay."

Ellie wrinkled from foot to foot for a moment, watching the dance of smoke on the surface of the coffee. Then she looked up at Dina and caught her concerned look.

"I'll cheer you on and yell so loud that if you mess up, no one will even notice, because everyone will be looking at the jerk who yells louder than the music."

Dina's face smoothed, her eyebrows twitched, and a slight embarrassed smile touched her lips. She looked back with a look of trust and warmth. Ellie could have sworn she could drown in those brown eyes if she looked too long. 

"Thank you, freckles," Dina replied quietly. 

There was still anxiety on her face about the events to come. Ellie wanted to shield her from anything that might threaten or disturb her.

"Come here," Ellie said, opening her arms and offering Dina her hugs. 

For a moment it seemed as if she wouldn't respond, and the oppressive awkwardness hung between them again. Her insides were about to tumble down, when Dina took a tentative step toward her and wrapped her arms around Ellie's waist, pressing against her chest. Her insides did collapse, but not from the fright of being rejected, but from the unexpected reciprocal contact. The beast growled contentedly somewhere inside her rib cage, raising the hairs on her arms. Ellie pulled Dina closer to her and wrapped her arms around her petite shoulders, enclosing her in a tight embrace. The warmth of her body, her scent and the breath on her neck penetrated every cell of her body. The feeling of warmth and home and comfort enveloped the brain and made her forget everything that was going on around. Time didn't matter, the day of the week and work didn't matter. There was only this moment.

Ellie didn't know how much time had passed, but it seemed too much. Dina's hands were the first to slowly loosen at her waist, and Ellie let the girl out of her embrace. They smiled awkwardly at each other.

"Okay..."

"Yeah..."

Dina took a step back, slowly coming out of her hovering state. She slowly shifted her gaze to the bowl of dough, apparently remembering what she had been doing up to this point.

"Well... Let's try to make something better this time."

And she began stirring the contents of the bowl. Ellie noticed that her neck had taken on a subtle pink hue.

*************************************************************************************

"So, you and Kat..."

Jesse tilted his head sideways and smiled conspiratorially. He walked beside Ellie with his imposing gait, his hands in his trouser pockets. In front of them was a beautiful view of the evening streets drenched in sunset. 

"Well... Not quite so..."

They were headed toward the rendezvous point, where a competition was planned between the teams from the Academy of Art, where Dina went to school, and the street dancers. Ellie had barely had time to shower after work when Jesse was already on duty under her door in impatience. They had a beer to relax after a full day's work and decided to walk to the venue on foot. The asphalt crunched quietly under their sneakers, mingling with the sounds of the evening streets.

"She said you guys talk a lot after that party," Jesse continued.

"Yes, we do."

Ellie had no intention of sharing the details of her personal life with him, even though they were friends. She knew Jesse was interested in teasing her and she didn't want to give him that opportunity. Of course, he wouldn't take offense, because when something really worth discussing happens-each of them is always willing to listen and offer advice. 

"So...?"

"We talk."

"No details?"

"No details."

"Okay," Jesse lost interest and silently continued to watch the streets they were walking down. Ellie glanced at him briefly and bit her lip. She was dying to know the details of his personal life and last night. The thought of it came over her at once and made her give up.

"So you and Dina..."

Jesse paused for a moment, a satisfied smile spreading across his face.

"Yeah."

"Yeah?"

Something inside began to slowly shrink.

"Yes, I think so."

"You think? You're not sure?"

"Of course I'm sure."

"Okay."

Ellie fell silent and let the street capture her attention. A vintage motorcycle drove down the road, and Ellie noted to herself the depth of the engine's sound. It was nice to see a vehicle that was cared for and respected. The engine is like a beast that can't be kept in a cage. You have to let it growl or it will die. After a minute Jesse scratched the back of his head and sighed.

"Okay, I'm not sure...," he finally admitted, "But I intend to fix it."

"Is something going wrong?"

Ellie shifted her gaze to her friend. Jesse looked still confident, but Ellie knew that underneath those pressed pants and shaved face was a boy who was afraid to look weak and was willing to get into trouble to prove otherwise.

"Well, sometimes it's like she's here and at the same time not here. Besides, we haven't discussed our relationship yet. I mean, she seems to be interested in me, but it's not certain. You can never be sure with girls."

"Yeah...", Ellie sighed, but then her heart fluttered at the unexpected thought, "So you haven't yet...?"

"No, no...", Jesse touched his nose and slipped his hand back into his pocket, "Dina's obviously not that kind of girl. And all the more interesting, you know...", he squared his shoulders again, "But I'm sure I'm close."

"You make it sound like it's a game you have to win."

"It's always a game, El."

"Yeah..."

"How much longer do we have to go? Where are we supposed to find everybody anyway?"

"Let's find Kat first. She said she'd meet us there. Then we'll see."

"Okay."

They walked forward a little more and turned the corner where the main entrance to the Academy was. There were students, dancers, and musicians all around. Everyone was going somewhere, chatting or sitting on the big steps, stacked with notebooks and instrument cases. Ellie was the first to notice Kat's figure among everyone in sight. She was dressed in tight jeans and a tight, thin sweater. The falling light accentuated the soft features of her face, her cheekbones and collarbones. For a moment Ellie thought about how glorious it would be to turn her full attention to this girl. At the very least, she wanted to try.

Kat looked up and noticed their approaching figures. Her face immediately lit up with a wide smile, and her gaze met green eyes. Ellie watched as she rose easily from the steps and walked toward them.

"Hey," Kat greeted cheerfully, nodding at Jesse and wrapping her arms around Ellie's neck.

"Hey," Ellie replied in a low voice and cautiously hugged the girl around the waist in a reciprocal hug. Out of the corner of her eye she saw Jesse grin to himself. She wanted to kick him with the toe of her sneaker in his boot, but then she felt Kat's fingers lightly stroking the back of her neck, playing with the short hairs. A slight tingle ran down her spine.

"Hey..." she repeated in Ellie's ear and pulled away with an embarrassed smile on her face. Jesse rolled his eyes and crumpled in place. Obviously, he couldn't wait to see Dina and hold her against him like that. The thought made Ellie uncomfortable.

"So, where should we go?" he asked.

"To the backyard, there's a big parking lot. Let's go," Kat grabbed Ellie's hand and pulled her along. Jesse followed them silently to the corner. 

When they rounded the corner of the building, they saw a huge crowd of people, motorcycles, and cars with their headlights on fire. At the far end of the parking lot was a truck, with its doors open, loaded with sound equipment. Music roared from the truck, sound waves spreading through the dancing bodies like a raging ocean. The sun was almost over the horizon, and the headlights of most of the cars were pointed toward the center to illuminate what was going on. Somewhere on the side of the truck came the shout of a DJ into a microphone.

Ellie's mouth dropped open in surprise; she'd never seen anything like it before. 

"Where's Dina?" asked Jesse, shouting over the noise of music and voices.

"She's with her team, getting ready," Kat replied, continuing to lead them into the thick of things.

"We won't see them before the show?" queried Ellie.

"You're a little late, so you won't see them before the show."

_ Damn Jesse and his beer. _

They came almost close to the crowd and began slowly making their way toward the center. Kat was the first to go, with Ellie's arm around her back, and Jessie was at the back of the small line. Someone was already drunk, waving their arms haphazardly in a dance and threatening to hit them. Ellie instinctively put her arm around Kat's shoulder to protect her from possible surprise attacks, and just in time. One guy almost crashed at them, but Ellie elbowed out in time to take the blow.

"Sorry," he tossed and disappeared into the crowd.

"Aaaaaand...... WE START!"

The DJ's voice boomed over the heads of the dancers, and all faces turned to him.

"LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, CLEAR THE CENTER OF THE VENUE! YOU'RE IN FOR A FIERY SPECTACLE!"

People gradually began to move around and form an uneven circle in the center of the parking lot. Ellie, Kat, and Jesse were right on the edge of the circle and had a great view. It was quite crowded, and Kat pressed her back against Ellie's chest to give room for the others who wanted to come. She was the shortest of the three of them, and Jesse was the tallest, so everyone was perfectly happy with the places.

The music got a little quieter, and the DJ began introducing the contestants as teams. When the next name was called, part of the crowd literally exploded with a barrage of shouts and whistles. Many came to support their friends and comrades and shouted as loudly as they could. Ellie didn't know what Dina's team name was or who the leader was, and just waited for the first dance to begin.

"Aaaand.... Last on the list but not the skill level.... FIREFLIES TEAM!"

Part of the crowd exploded with shouts, and Kat along with them. She jumped up in place, throwing one arm up, and Ellie realized it was their team. About ten people separated from the far edge of the circle, and they stood next to DJ's truck and danced a few moves. The crowd whistled cheerfully, and Ellie saw Dina's figure among the participants. She was collected, standing in a confident pose and looking fully prepared for what was about to happen.

_ Well done, keep it up... _

Ellie ran her eyes over the girl's figure to the edge of the circle until she disappeared back into the crowd. Then she felt Kat's hand, still holding her palm in hers, tighten slightly and pull Ellie's arm behind her, wrapping it around her waist. The motion was unobtrusive, and before Ellie even realized it, her own hand slid down the girl's thin sweater and stopped near her belly button over the edge of her jeans. 

"They'll perform in pairs, team against team, on elimination. Until there's only one left," Kat said over her shoulder, turning her head back slightly. Jesse hummed approvingly behind.

"I can't wait."

"AND WE'RE ON!"

The crowd roared and the show began.

************************************************************************

After an hour, there were only three teams left on the roster. One of them was the Fireflies team, and in a round it had to compete with the remaining winner. It was the last step to victory, nerves strained to the limit, and the smell of sweat and testosterone was in the air.

Kat continued to huddle with her back to Ellie holding her breath as the remaining two teams finally stepped into the center. Every now and then her hand gently stroked her rough knuckles, and it was pleasantly distracting. Ellie was pleased by this girl's attention, by the warmth of her body and her touch. The smell of perfume and shampoo tickled her nose pleasantly. Her right hand slowly reached up to her thin waist and her other arm, closing the embrace. Kat froze for a second, then shook her shoulders lightly and leaned back a little harder, pressing the back of her head against the left shoulder of the girl behind her. Ellie tilted her head gently and inhaled the scent of her hair, burying the tip of her nose in it.

_ What am I doing? _

The thought flashed quickly and unexpectedly.

_ But it feels good... _

_ You can mislead a girl with your attention, _

_ You're not sure you like her. _

_ But I won't know for sure until I get close to her... _

_ Are you sure you want to do this? _

_ But I feel good now... _

_ I feel good now... _

An unexpected change in the music burst into the ears and snapped Ellie out of her musings. The Fireflies team appeared in the center of the circle, and everyone started whistling and hooting. The dancers lined up in starting position and prepared to enter. Dina stood on the right side of the front row, her face serious and focused. Ellie knew she wasn't likely to see their trio among the pile of people, but she tensed involuntarily. Jesse shouted and clapped his hands behind them, scaring away those who wanted to push them out of their seats.

A second more, and the dancers began to move, their bodies merging in the same rhythm of dance and music. There was something wild and animal in their movements, something that made you hold your breath and stirred the blood. Each member of the team gave themselves completely to the dance, there was passion and menace on their faces, each jump and somersault sent an electric charge across the ground that seemed to be felt. 

Ellie never took her eyes off Dina for a second. She moved as mesmerizingly as she had in Joel's room that sunny day. Only now the music and the story were about something else entirely. Swift and impetuous, her body movements cut through the air and plunged into the viewer's imagination like a sharp knife. It was impossible to remain indifferent, impossible to look away.

"WOOW WOOW WOOW WOOW, WHAT A PERFORMANCE!"

The dance ended with an impressive pyramid of dancers' bodies, and the DJ exploded with shouts along with the crowd around him. 

"LOOKS LIKE YOU ALREADY KNOW THE WINNER! YOU CAN'T ARGUE WITH THAT! THIS IS SOMETHING UNBELIEVABLE! CHEERS FIREFLIES!"

Ellie felt as if her ears were ringing in her ears from the volume with which people reacted to these words. Everyone rushed into the circle and started cheering the winners, throwing up their hands and splashing beer on each other's heads. A wave of bodies began to carry them forward, and soon Ellie could see Dina's happy face quite close. Nearby were Mel and some other people hugging her and patting her on the shoulder. Kat hung around Mel's neck, and Ellie caught DIna's gaze. She stared into the green eyes for a second and then quickly ran up and wrapped her arms around Ellie's neck.

"Freckles! We won!"

Ellie hugged Dina around the waist so tightly that she pulled her off the ground, spinning her in place.

"That was... You were... You were a great dancer! Just incredible!" 

The words wouldn't come to mind and just flew haphazardly out of her mouth bypassing her brain. Dina's body was heated and still tense. Ellie could feel the muscles of her back and waist under her thin tank top. Her fingers ran involuntarily over her, gathering those sensations.

"Baby, you were awesome!"

Jesse's voice broke into their moment of togetherness, and Dina unhooked her arms, pulling away. Her face was flushed and glistening with sweat. She shifted her gaze to Jesse, and he immediately wrapped her in a tight embrace, forcing Ellie to take a step to the side. 

_ Yeah, right... _

_ They're together now. _

Jesse let go of Dina and leaned in, capturing her lips with his. 

_ What... _

Their unexpected kiss lasted a few seconds that seemed like an eternity. Her heart dropped to the bottom of her stomach, and then it jumped to her throat. She wasn't ready for this.

"Hey, is everything okay?"

  
  


Kat's face appeared before her eyes, her hand touching Ellie's shoulder and making her look away from Dina and Jesse.

"Um... Yeah."

Ellie cleared her throat and lowered her gaze to the ground, shifting from foot to foot. 

"Hey, we can leave if you want."

"You guys staying for the party?"

Mel emerged right beside them, looking at Ellie and Kat with evaluation. Ellie looked up at Dina and saw that she and Jessiie had stopped kissing and were standing half-turned in their arms. Dina's eyes were full of happiness and tenderness, and she was pressing her cheek against Jesse's chest and saying something to him. Her hands automatically reached for Kat and pulled her closer. The smell of her perfume enveloped her nostrils again and distracted her from what was happening, kicking the feeling of bitterness from her chest.

"I should probably go... I don't feel like staggering around in a crowd of drunken sticky bodies," Ellie replied and lowered her eyes to the girl in her arms, "If you're not going to stay, too, I can walk you home."

"Are you sure you don't want to stay?" asked Dina. Her voice made to look into her brown eyes again and drown in them for a moment.

"N-no... I'm going home."

A small shadow of disappointment fell over Dina's face, she glanced over at Ellie and Kat snuggling up to each other and averted her eyes.

_ Have fun on your own, I don't want to watch this anymore... _

_ Why am I even touched by this? _

"Okay, I'll see you then," Jesse responded cheerfully, hugging Dina and showing everybody that she was his girlfriend.

"See you later," Kat answered for herself and Ellie and led her by the hand out of the crowd, leaving her friends behind.

They made their way through all the bodies fairly quickly and found themselves on another street away from the noise and screaming. The night air was clear and cool. It was nice to take a deep breath and enjoy the calm after all the events. Ellie looked at Kat, and Kat looked away embarrassed. A light breeze played with the folds of her thin sweater.

"Aren't you cold?"

"No..."

Ellie smiled to herself and took off her denim jacket, throwing it over Kat's shoulders. The girl responded with a look of gratitude and wrapped herself more tightly in the jacket, lifting the collar. 

"Warm."

"Yeah..."

"What about you?"

"I'm not cold."

Kat took Ellie's hand, intertwining their fingers, and Ellie's heart fluttered faintly in response to the small gesture. 

"Yes, your hand is warm."

For the first time they were alone since they had first met, and for the first time they were to communicate without the involvement of strangers. It was not at all like texting. They had exchanged at least a hundred messages since that morning, but they didn't seem to mean as much as live words spoken aloud. That's why it was so hard to figure out what to talk about.

Eventually Kat was the first to start saying something about the dance they had seen, sharing her impressions and occasionally squeezing Ellie's hand harder in hers. Ellie mostly listened and answered briefly, giving Kat room for a monologue. So they moved forward, going quarter by quarter and disturbing the tranquility of the night streets with their footsteps. Thoughts flowed smoothly in another direction, unrelated to what Kat was talking about.

_ Her hand is soft and gentle. _

_ Not as soft as Dina's hand. _

_ But it's nice, too. _

_ I don't want to get into what she's saying at all. _

_ It's good that her conversations don't require an answer. _

_ It's so nice to feel the cool air on my skin... _

_ Now my jacket will smell of her perfume. _

_ I don't know if I like it... _

_ But I like her perfume. _

_ But I don't want it to smell on my jacket. _

_ I'd rather it smell like Dina's shampoo... _

_ I wonder if I kiss Kat, how I'd feel… _

"There's my house, around this corner," Kat's voice intruded on her thoughts and brought Ellie back to reality, "Are you sure you're not cold?"

She turned to Ellie, stopping them at the corner of the sidewalk, and placed her palms on her collarbones. There was a small distance between them that could be bridged in half a step, and Ellie felt the tension building in that small space between their bodies. The girl's eyes were drawn to her, appearing dark blue with unfamiliarly dilated pupils in the darkness of the night. Ellie's gaze fell involuntarily on the full pink lips, which opened slightly to the silence that hung in the air. Kat took a barely perceptible step toward them, closing the distance between them just a little more. Ellie could feel her hot breath on her face and the way her hands began to rise slowly up the collar of her shirt to her neck.

"What the fuck are you dykes doing here?!"

The door of the car parked on the opposite side of the sidewalk swung open with a sharp, distinctive creak. It was an old black Pontiac, which Ellie hadn't noticed or even noticed until this moment. Kat jerked frightened and recoiled, turning around at the voice. Two guys came out of the car, clearly in an unfriendly mood, and headed toward them. They looked shabby and menacing, clearly waiting for someone, and were probably trying to have a little fun. 

Ellie knew the guys like these well and braced herself for the worst. She grabbed Kat's arm and put it behind her back without moving from her seat. Her eyes followed the approaching figures, their faces and hands. 

"What's with the silence? Haven't you ever been properly fucked that you lick each other? That can be fixed."

There was no point in engaging in dialogue, Ellie knew that. Her brain was working at the limit of its ability, calculating the distance to the nearest crowded place or storefront that she could smash and trigger an alarm. They were on a corner far away from it all, otherwise they would hardly have run into these guys. They could run, but Ellie wasn't sure if Kat could handle it, and decided that the only sure way was to try to fight back. Better to get punched in the face while resisting than punched in the back while escaping. If she gets knocked down, that's the end of it.

The boys circled around them, but continued to keep a short distance, probably assessing the possible danger. Ellie was still holding Kat behind her, covering her with her body and leaning forward on her slightly bent knees, ready to fight at a moment's notice. The beast inside bared its teeth and began to growl slowly, silencing all thought and feeling.

"Now we...," one of the guys began, and immediately his face met Ellie's right fist. The blow was sharp and hard, blood spurted from his nose, and he grabbed his face with his hands, taking a step back. 

If a fight was inevitable, hit first to gain an advantage. These rules had often saved Ellie's life in such situations, and this one was no exception. She pushed Kat back against the fence with her right hand and lunged at the other guy, dodging his attack. He grabbed her by the hem of her shirt and tossed her aside in one swift motion, where the first guy put his arm around her shoulders and pressed his arms against her body.

Every cell of the body, every muscle and nerve was tense and filled with rage. A rage that hadn't come out and shown its ugly head to the light in so long. Wild animal fire began to tear at her ribcage, forcing her to clench her teeth and bite, to scratch, to fight to the last breath. Ellie stepped on the foot of the guy holding her and slammed the back of his head into his face with all her might. There was the unpleasant sound of the nose breaking, and his grip immediately loosened. 

"You bitch!"

"Ellie!"

Kat's shout came to her ears, a distraction, and Ellie noticed a switchblade in the other guy's hand glinting. He lunged, and Ellie managed at the last moment to knock the blade away with the back of her forearm. She heard the knife slash through the fabric of her shirt, but she felt no pain. Even if she was hurt, there was no time to find out now. 

The guy began to advance, swinging the knife like a cleaver and making Ellie bounce back. His eyes were full of anger and unfocused, sure of his advantage. Ellie took another step backward, but immediately lunged forward into another lunge, skirting the path of the blade and grabbing the guy's arm. He clearly hadn't expected that turn and lost his balance, falling onto his back. Ellie fell with him, knocking the knife out of his hand thanks to the impact on the pavement. Making sure the knife was far away, she punch her opponent in the face with all the force she was capable of in that position. His hand, which had previously held her by her shirt collar, relaxed and fell to the side. Another punch, and another, and another. Rage continued to boil inside, rushing adrenaline through her veins.

Ellie didn't know how many times her fist came down on the guy's face, but she only stopped when her arm began to hurt. Breathing heavily she got off him and got to her feet quickly looking around. The other abuser shuffled toward his car, keeping his hands pressed to his nose. His face and chest were flooded with blood, and curses were coming out of his mouth, barely audible through the wheezing and gurgling. Ellie watched him for a second, then, convinced that he was no longer dangerous, jumped up to Kat. 

There was shock and horror on the girl's face. She stood there still, with her back against the fence and her hands clasped to her chest, looking at Ellie with her eyes wide open.

"Hey, are you okay? Are you okay?" 

Ellie took her by the shoulders and shook her gently, bringing her to her senses.

"Ellie... Are you..."

"Is this your house?"

"Yes..."

"Go home. Now, come on. I'll watch from here until you come inside."

"But your hand..."

"Never mind. I live two blocks away, I'll be fine."

"Ellie..."

"Kat, come on, it's okay."

Ellie let go of Kat's shoulders and turned around. Then she walked over to the scene of the fight, picked up the knife from the pavement, and cast a quick glance at her forearm. The sleeve was cut and riddled with blood.

"Ellie, what are you..."

"Kat, please go to your house, now."

Kat's legs seemed to obey her again, and she strode uncertainly toward her house, looking back at the black Pontiac. Ellie stood for a while longer, then walked over to the car and stuck a knife into the front tire. The air started to come out with a loud whoosh, and the front of the pontiac slid slightly to the ground. Kat was already opening the door with the key and hiding behind the gate when Ellie backed away from the car in the other direction and threw the knife over the fence into the bushes.

Her breathing and heartbeat were slowly recovering, the adrenaline was dissipating, and her body was beginning to feel pain.

_ Shit... _

_ Okay, all that was left was to get home... _

**********************************************************************************

The house was empty and cold. Ellie slammed the door behind her and turned on the living room light, holding up her cut hand. She slowly pulled her sneakers off her feet and made her way to the couch, flopping down on it and tilting her head back. She had no energy for anything, not even to crawl to the bed. Ellie stretched her right arm out in front of her, trying to keep it steady and still. The hand was shaking and covered in blood. It wasn't clear whose blood was on it-the blood of the guy, or the blood from the broken knuckles. Ellie clenched her hand slowly into a fist, trying to keep the tremor at bay, and dropped it to her hip. The cut on her left hand she didn't even want to check. She'd deal with it later when she got some rest.

Ellie didn't know how long she'd sat like this in silence in her living room. The click of the door lock snapped her out of her drowsy state. 

_ Dina? _

Ellie peeled her eyes open and saw a small female figure appear on the threshold and quietly close the door behind her. Dina noticed the light on first, and then she noticed the girl sitting on the couch. She hovered for a second, and then her eyes slowly widened at what she saw.

"What...," she jumped up to the couch in a few big steps and grabbed Ellie by the shoulders, quickly examining her. Her hands slid from her shoulders down her arms and froze over the blood stain spreading down her sleeve. Dina's face changed. There was no fear on it, but her eyes filled with pain. All the while, Ellie watched the girl's face in front of her, examining her features, the line of her eyebrows and lips. She didn't care about the cut and the injured arm, she didn't even feel pain-just deadly fatigue and the feeling of warmth from Dina's presence beside her.

"Arm only?" asked Dina anxiously, groping cautiously at the sleeve of her shirt and glancing at her right fist. Her voice seemed otherworldly and trembled slightly at the last word. Ellie nodded briefly and turned her forearm with the cut side out.

"God, freckles..."

Dina tossed the bag off her shoulders to the side and carefully unbuttoned the cuff of Ellie's shirt, rolling up the sleeve. The blood was already a bit sticky to the cut along with the fabric, which made it a little difficult. 

"Take it off," Dina said firmly and got to her feet. Ellie watched as she quickly walked over to the closet and pulled out the first aid kit box from there. Her gait and movements were firm and determined, with no hint of weakness or hysteria. She placed the box on the coffee table by the sofa and returned to the kitchen, getting a bowl and filling it with tap water. 

It was quiet and peaceful all around. The deep, chilly night had long ago covered the streets, leaving the right to silence and solitude. Ellie rested her head on the back of the couch and closed her eyes contentedly, soaking in the sensation. What could be better than coming back under her roof after the hardships of life and finding herself enveloped in care and warmth.

"I thought you'd be celebrating victory with everyone," she said, trying to make Dina talk a little and get a feel for her mood. She returned with a bowl in her hands and knelt in front of Ellie sitting on the couch, placing it beside her.

"I was celebrating, but I decided to come back early," she gingerly took Ellie's right hand in hers and carefully examined her shattered knuckles, "And apparently not for nothing."

Ellie watched her face, her eyes, and the movement of her hands in silence. The black curls of her hair still fell disobediently to her forehead, bouncing with every movement. Her eyes and the wrinkle between her eyebrows showed the pain of what she was seeing. Dina dipped a piece of gauze into the water and began to slowly rinse her right hand, washing the dried blood off it. Ellie could feel her warm and soft palm gently supporting the wounded hand in her weight. All of Dina's movements were precise and careful. 

It was a strange sensation. When the animal rage rose in Ellie, there was little that could affect it and somehow calm the emotions raging inside. When her fists clenched by themselves and her jaw clenched so tightly that her teeth began to ache, even a walk of a few blocks didn't erase the patina of battle-readiness and hard armor. But with Dina by her side, it was easy. It was easy to finally relax and go from defense mode to trust mode. Just one little contact through the hand Dina held in her palm had such an effect. It was something new and worked better than any medicine.

A few minutes later there was a small pile of bloody pieces of gauze on the table, and the wounds had been washed clean and treated with antiseptic. The cut on his left arm was shallow, so only a small bandage without stitches was needed. 

"Shirt's a pity," Ellie joked when Dina looked up at her with her sad brown eyes.

"You've got a whole closet full of them," she replied. Her gaze softened a little, and she stroked Ellie's palm lightly one last time and put her hands in her lap. It was a hard to part with the warmth of her palm.

There was an awkward pause, and Ellie realized it was time to gather her strength to drag herself upstairs. Her body didn't want to move, and it resisted any attempt to get off the back of the couch. But it was even more reluctant to part with Dina and be alone in its own thoughts again.

"What the fuck, freckles?" eventually asked Dina, running her hands over the bloody gauzes and the whole situation. Ellie didn't know what to answer. She caught herself thinking that she'd be glad to go through all this again. If every time Dina found herself sitting next to her like this in the middle of the night in the silence of the living room of their house.

"Well... Anything happens on the streets."

"You know how to get into trouble, don't you?"

"Pfff, I'm a pro at it."

"Okay, pro, let's get you to bed."

"Okay..."

"Okay."


	9. MY LOVELY FEELINGS

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hello, everyone!  
> I brought you some emotions again!  
> Enjoy and stay safe!  
> As always, I am grateful for any comments on my work.
> 
> Next update - 6th Saturday.

_ God, everything hurts... _

_ Five more minutes and I'll be up... _

"Good morning!"

A familiar woman's voice rang in her head and awakened her brain from a deep slumber. Ellie moved on the bed and opened her eyes, immediately seeing Dina in front of her. Her bright smiling face emerged as if from a window light, and it seemed part of a dream.

"Sorry, I knocked, but you didn't answer. I thought I'd see if you were still alive," she said with a smile, and sat down next to Ellie on the edge of the bed. 

Ellie rose on her hands and sat up, leaning against the headboard. She was embarrassed that Dina had seen her in such a broken state. Last night had taken its toll, and Ellie had fallen asleep in her worn jeans and T-shirt as soon as her head touched the pillow. Dina, on the other hand, was as beautiful and fresh as ever and sat in front of her anxiously scrutinizing her rumpled face.

"How do you feel?"

"Like shit."

"You look the same. Let me see your hand."

Ellie ripped her right hand off the sheet and stretched it out in front of her. There was some dried blood on the knuckles, and they were burgundy with bluish skin around them. Dina took the wounded hand in her palm and ran her fingertips gently over the crust that had formed. Then she raised her eyes to Ellie, studying her face.

"That guy must have had a hell of a time," she said, a little quieter. Her soft voice got a little lower and slowly spread a warmth across the surface of her skin.

Ellie didn't say anything back. For some reason she felt uncomfortable showing Dina this side of herself. The beast wanted to be free, but it didn't want to be intimidated. That fine line between calm and fire always required control and wasn't for everyone. For a second, Ellie thought that if Dina had seen her in such a moment, she would have understood it. 

She looked up at the girl and looked slowly and calmly into her brown eyes, not caring about the long silence that hung between them. The morning light streaming in through the window was beautifully golden in her dark hair and accentuated the smooth features of her face. It was something you could really look at for a long time, and Ellie watched. For the first real time, she was looking, not embarrassed, not caring how long she looked, and not looking away. As long as Dina let her look. She could feel the calmness of her own gaze radiating a firm inner confidence. And despite the crumpled appearance and the blood on her hand, Ellie felt real now, sitting there and looking into this girl's eyes.

"Okay... I'll wait for you downstairs to change the bandage and have breakfast," Dina finally said in the same low voice, looking away first and getting out of bed. Embarrassment and a slight tinge of pink flashed across her face.

"I have to be at work in an hour," Ellie replied, continuing to observe the girl's figure.

"You're not going to work today. I texted Tony, he's got your back."

"You texted Tony? When?"

"Last night when you went to bed."

"Oh... Thanks..."

"You're welcome, freckles. Waiting for you downstairs."

And she was gone, leaving behind a small dent in the sheets and a feeling of something intimate, intangible, and elusive. Ellie closed her eyes, absorbing the feeling, and slowly lowered her legs off the bed. Her hand reached for her cell phone on the nightstand, several messages glowing on the screen.

[ Kat:

Hi! 

How r u? Is everything ok? Text me asap ] 

[ Kat:

El, r u still asleep?

I'm worried... ]

[ Kat:

If you don't answer in an hour, I'll come to you

I hope you're just still asleep ]

[ Tony:

Hey, you clearly screwed up, man

What kind of shit did you get yourself into this time?

I hope to hear more from you soon ]

[ Tony:

Feel better, by the way!

Don't worry about work

There's not much to do right now

You got three days, no problem ]

[ Jessica:

Don't you dare help that asshole with Dina

Let him do it himself, I want to see it

When are we gonna hang out again? ]

Ellie quickly looked through all the messages and went back to the first one.

[ Me:

Hi!

It's okay, don't worry.

How r u? ]

The answer came almost instantly.

[ Kat:

Thank goodness

I'm fine, still a little shaky from yesterday

How's the arm?

When am I going to see you? ]

[ Me:

The arm will heal

Dina helped me treat it and make a bandage

I'll be home for a few days ]

Another message came a few seconds later, but not from Kat.

[ Jesse:

A fight? Seriously?

I thought we were too old for this shit

I'll call you later ]

_ Jesse already knows how? _

_ Probably from Dina... _

Ellie grimaced and put the phone back on the nightstand, stretching her stiff muscles. Kat's face came back to mind, smiling and happy. The moment when they had stood huddled together and watched the final dance came back to mind. Ellie wanted to see her now and make sure she was okay. Kat seemed to be really worried about her, flooding her cell phone with messages. It felt good.

It was time to go take a shower and go downstairs, so Dina wouldn't be late for school because of her. The thought of a shower and breakfast with Dina settled pleasantly inside and gave her the energy to start moving. 

Fifteen minutes later she was on her way downstairs where there was ready-made toast and a prepared first aid kit waiting for her. Dina was sitting on one of the bar stools, holding her phone in her hands, and typing quickly with a slight smile on her face. Ellie stepped closer, scratching her neck.

"Jesse's worried about you," Dina reported without taking her eyes off the phone.

"Uh-huh..."

"Come here, sit down, I'll change your bandage."

She kicked one of the chairs out of the way, inviting Ellie to sit beside her and putting the phone aside. Reaching for the medicine cabinet, Dina pulled out what she needed and turned halfway around. Ellie slowly sat down next to her, furtively watching the girl. The phone on the table vibrated again, announcing an incoming message, but Dina only glanced at it, continuing to unpack band-aids and bandages. The phone vibrated again.

Questions swirled on the tongue, but a sense of tact held them back inside, concreting under a layer of jealousy.

"Are you and Jesse serious?" Ellie couldn't resist just one question.

Dina's face changed for a moment and she looked away, delaying her answer and concentrating on her own movements. Ellie waited patiently, rolling up her shirt sleeve and placing her hand on the table.

"Yeah, I guess so," she finally answered, carefully removing the old bandage, "He's a good guy."

"Yeah, he is..."

Somewhere inside it tingled again. Ellie cringed at the feeling and lowered her eyes.

"Does it hurt?" she looked up at the question and realized that Dina was studying her face.

"Um... No... It's fine."

"Okay... I'm almost done."

The girl leaned over her other arm, carefully applying a new bandage to the cut. Ellie just stared at it, silent and thinking about how she suddenly wanted to be alone. She so wanted to hide in the darkness and the cool of the garage like she'd done before, not to know the details of anyone else's private life. She wanted to be alone again, in her small but cozy world, where every corner was ready to take her lonely soul into its warm embrace.

Suddenly the doorbell rang.

_ Who the hell is that? _

"Who the hell is that?" repeated Dina aloud this thought. With one last careful movement, she secured the blindfold on her arm and headed to open the door. Ellie noticed a familiar little figure appear in the aisle a few seconds later.

"Hi!"

"Hi, Kat. What are you doing here?"

"I came to see Ellie. To see how she's doing."

Ellie saw Kat's concerned face, and she felt warmer that she was here. The girl spotted her and made her way over to her, hugging her neck gently.

"Hi..."

"Hi."

"How are you?"

"All right, I'll be all right soon," Ellie lifted her arm, revealing a fresh bandage. Kat touched her forearm gingerly with a sigh, examining it. Her hands were cool after the street, the touch made goosebumps run.

"God, I thought you were going to get killed..."

Kat's gaze was still anxious, but warm. There were noticeable dark circles under her eyes, and Ellie thought to herself that she must not have slept well tonight.

"I'm not easy to get to."

Kat hugged her neck again, snuggling with her whole body and nestling into the dimple between her neck and shoulder. Her hair tickled her nose pleasantly, making Ellie want to burrow deeper into it and move into the darkness and coolness of the garage together. There was the sound of a door closing, and Ellie jerked, raising her eyes sharply. 

She and Kat were the only ones left in the living room. Dina was gone.

Ellie hovered for a second, but then brought herself back to the present moment, closing her eyes again and hugging Kat a little tighter. It felt good to feel the warmth of her body, the warmth in her voice and her caring. The sense of loneliness that had come over her slowly began to recede, giving way to a new pleasurable sensation. The girl in her arms moved, pulling away slightly, and Ellie was able to look into her blue eyes. They were still as drawn to her as they had been yesterday.

"It's okay now," Ellie said softly in a low, slightly husky voice as she continued to stare into Kat's eyes.

"Now it is..."

Kat stared back for another second, and then slowly leaned forward, pressing her lips to Ellie's. An electric shock ran down her skin and down her spine in an instant, her body instinctively leaning forward in response to the kiss. The touch of the girl's lips was soft and delicate, as if she was afraid of breaking something invisible, carefully pressing her lips to her. Ellie sensed it immediately and after a second of confusion she drew Kat closer, answering the kiss and seizing the initiative. Kat responded immediately, her hands slided up Ellie's arms and shoulders, touching her sore forearm.

"Mmm...," Ellie didn't hold back, wincing in pain.

Kat recoiled, yanking her hand away from the sore spot.

"God, I'm sorry... Does it hurt a lot?"

"It's nothing, it's fine."

There was an awkward pause between them.

"Okay... I have to run to school..." said Kat through an embarrassed smile, taking two steps back, "See you later?"

"Yeah," Ellie replied, smiling just as embarrassedly and scratching her neck.

"Okay, bye..."

"Yeah..."

Kat smiled one last time, looking into Ellie's eyes, and headed for the exit. After a few seconds, she was alone, sitting by herself. Slowly touching her lips with her fingertips, Ellie replayed in the mind the sensations she'd just experienced.

_ Damn, what was that? _

_ That felt good. _

_ I liked it. _

Kissing Kat was easy and natural, even though it was unexpected. For a second the thoughts went back to Dina and how she had left without saying goodbye. It was strange, because she had never done that, despite the fact that she almost always ran away in a hurry. Ellie cast another glance at the door in the hallway and got up from her stool, heading for the stove. Making herself a cup of strong coffee was the only and surest thing to do right now. Everything else was for later.

**********************************************************************************

After making herself some coffee, Ellie went back upstairs and collapsed on the bed. Her body demanded rest and slowly spread out on the sheets. It was great that Dina had given her a few days off. Ellie herself was stubborn enough and rarely felt sorry for herself, so she would certainly go to work without even thinking about rest for a while. Dina was taking care of her, and it felt very unaccustomed. The beast inside sniffed back at these thoughts. The way she went about observing silence and calm, the way she always made Ellie her favorite toast, the way she cared for her yesterday and today. It all came together at some point and layered on top of each other, evoking a sense of affection and trust.

And then there was that motorcycle ride... And the way she looked at her at their little party. Her flushed face, laughing eyes and wide smile. And the way she'd hugged Jesse... This thought made her uncomfortable, and Ellie shuddered.

_ I'm just jealous that she'll spend more time with him and less time at home. _

_ I like having her home, that's all. _

_ I liked our movie nights on the couch... _

_ Damn, I need to stop thinking about it. _

The phone on the nightstand vibrated. Ellie reached for it and smiled to herself when she saw the message.

[ Kat:

Hey, handsome

I brought your jacket and forgot to give it to you

Somebody messed with my mind ]

[ Me:

I don't know what you mean xD ]

[ Kat:

I don't really want to part with it

It smells like you, and I like to wrap myself in it ]

[ Me:

If so, you can keep it ]

[ Kat:

What about you? ]

[ Me:

I'm not cold, remember? ]

[ Kat:

Yes, and I like it ]

_ She likes it... _

_ I think I like it, too. _

Ellie put the phone on her chest and leaned back on the bed. A feeling of sadness for Dina mixed with a feeling of warmth from being with Kat. It was strange and unusual, and she wanted something to occupy her mind and take her mind off of it.

_ I'll lie down for five minutes and go down to the garage to work on the bike. _

_ I've got a little more work to do and It'll be ready to go. _

_ Five minutes... _

_ ************************************************************************ _

She woke up when it was sunset outside the window, still lying across the bed with the phone on her chest. She probably would have slept through the night if it hadn't been for the vibrating of the phone. Ellie almost dropped the phone on her face when she saw who the message was from.

[ Dina:

Hey, I left dinner on the table

I didn't want to wake you up

I'll be late ]

_ I didn't want to wake... _

_ I'll be late... _

_ Shit, what time is it anyway? _

Ellie looked at the time in the corner of the screen and then at the window. The sky was already covered in the gold of sunset, and it was beginning to darken slowly. She walked to the open window and looked out into the street, rubbing her still sleepy eyes with her fist. Figures of people colored by the setting sun were moving leisurely along the sidewalks, heading home after a long day at work, the air warm and fresh, pleasantly blowing on her face. Ellie squeezed her eyes shut peacefully, taking in the beautiful evening, and then opened them again, peering down the sidewalk outside her house.

There was a couple standing below, embracing and whispering something to each other with their faces close. Ellie would have recognized them even in the darkness. Even if somebody woke her in the middle of the night and showed her that picture. Her feet were stuck to the floor, and her gaze was fixed on the boy and the girl, who kissed each other one last time and headed away from the house. Her heart began to beat faster than usual, and her hands gripped the wooden window shutters tightly. Ellie didn't tear her gaze away until Dina and Jesse were gone around the next corner.

The hand ached a little with pain, the crust on the wounded knuckles cracked from the strain, and fresh blood spurted out.

_ Shit... _

Ellie unclenched her fingers and stepped away from the window. Her legs dragged her out of the room, downstairs to the kitchen, away from her reckless thoughts. There on the table awaited her, a frying pan covered with a lid and a bowl of salad. Ellie looked at them indifferently and opened the refrigerator, pulling out a can of beer. The cold liquid cooled her throat pleasantly with each new sip, and within a minute there was a warm and relaxed feeling spreading through her body. Ellie took another look at the pan and the salad, reflecting on the fact that she felt no anticipation of their probably divine taste. Taking another sip from the jar, she reached into the cupboard and pulled out several empty food containers. Carefully folding the food from the dishes into the food containers, Ellie carefully placed them in the refrigerator. She knew that drinking beer on an empty stomach was a bad idea, but she didn't feel like eating right now. She didn't want anything at all.

Without thinking long, she opened the refrigerator again, took out a six-pack of beer and went into the garage with it. After turning on the light, she went to the workbench and put the package on it. There were two boxes on the table, one containing a new leather-bound motorcycle seat and the other containing a painted tank. Both boxes had arrived a week ago, but Ellie just hadn't had the time to get around to it. And now that she was alone in the quiet of her house, the garage beckoned to her again. She carefully took the tank out of the box, placed it on the table, and swiped away the bits of Styrofoam. Taking another sip of beer, she crouched slightly in front of it, lowering her gaze level to the tank's midline. In this position, the light fell on the metal, reflecting the glare of light most strongly, and Ellie squinted her eyes, slowly running an experienced eye over every inch of the surface. The layer of paint and varnish lay perfectly flat, with no breaks or minor damage. The tank was a deep sky blue and should match the black leather seat and black details perfectly.

Ellie pulled her phone out of her jeans pocket and took a picture, sending it to Tony. He, of all people, would be able to appreciate the quality and beauty of such work. 

[ Tony:

Wow, great job!

How's it going with Kat?

Do I have a chance of getting her attention, or have you already captured her heart? ]

[ Me:

Ask her yourself, budy ]

Ellie took a couple more sips from the can and sank down on the couch next to the workbench, flipping through the dialogues. Her correspondence with Kat was at number three on the list, and her finger tapped it by itself, opening a new message.

[ Me:

Hey ]

The reply came a minute later, and it got warmer inside. The usual correspondence between them began again, and Ellie slowly began to remember last night, when Kat had almost kissed her, and this morning, who she had done it after all. It felt good and it wanted to do it again. 

[ Kat:

I wanted to tell you something...

I really like you, Ellie.

I mean... a lot ]

On receiving this message, Ellie hovered for a second. Something inside her stirred faintly, spreading a subtle desire through her limbs. Her thoughts returned to Kat's lips, to the warmth of her body, to her uninhibited touch. 

The cell phone vibrated again, and a message appeared on the screen.

[ Dina:

Don't wait up, I'm sleeping out of home

See you tomorrow! ]

Out of home?

Where, then?

Half a minute later, another vibration and a new message.

[ Jesse:

I won. ]

_ I won. _

_ I won... _

Ellie froze with the phone in her hands and the staggering realization of what was now happening. He's with Dina. He's with Dina right now.

The beast inside erupted in a primal growl and gritted its teeth. Ellie squeezed the can of beer in her hand with force, crumpling it, and tossed the phone aside on the couch. Some beer spilled from the crumpled can and began to foam on her wounded knuckles and run down her hand.

_ Shit... _

Ellie tossed the can to the floor not caring if she stained it with beer and wiped her hand irritably on her shirt. The phone vibrated again, and the beast prepared to lash out, destroying everything in its path.

[ Kat:

Hey, are you there? Sorry if there's something wrong...]

The fingers unlocked the screen and began to quickly type a message.

[ Me:

Do you want to come over right now? ]

Anything to get Kat close to her. She wanted to dip back into the smell of her perfume and bury her nose in her hair. The beast clicked its jaws, waiting for an answer.

[ Kat:

Now? But it's too late ]

[ Me:

I know

So what do you say?

I owe you a beer and fascinating tales of mechanics ]

[ Kat:

Only if the most fascinating ones xD ]

She will come. 

She'll come, and she'll be there for me. 

Whether it was the alcohol bubbling in her blood or something else, Ellie suddenly felt hot. Her body mobilized and was ready for action. Her foot began tapping its own rhythm on the concrete floor of the garage, and she jumped up from the couch in impatience within minutes. Heading to the kitchen, Ellie pulled a bottle of sparkling water from the fridge, draining half of it in one fell swoop and spilling some on her chest.

After a while, the doorbell rang. Ellie quickly walked to the door and swung it open, retreating two steps back into the house. Standing on the threshold was Kat, beautiful and demure as always. She was wearing black tight jeans, a thin beige sweatshirt, and Ellie's denim jacket. And it all looked damn good on her. She took two steps inside, closing the door behind her.

"Hey..."

"Hey..."

Ellie stared at the girl for a few more long seconds, not tearing her gaze from her blue eyes. Kat's gaze was incomprehensible, but full of warmth, and after a second it was replaced by anticipation and curiosity. Every cell in Ellie's body was tuned to perceive the subtle vibrations that emanated from the girl standing across from her. She continued to stare into Kat's eyes, studying every nuance of emotion on her face. And when Kat's gaze involuntarily drifted to her lips, Ellie moved closer to her in one decisive motion, wrapping her arms around her face and covering her lips with her own.

The body seemed to make its own decisions, bypassing the brain and pressing Kat's back against the front door in a passionate kiss. Kat responded almost instantly, surrendering to this invisible force and surrendering to the rush of emotion. Her hands flew up to her shoulders and joined at the back of her head, deepening the kiss. Ellie's hands slid down to her thin waist, under her jacket, and began wandering through the delicate fabric of her sweater, probing the space available to them. Then they penetrated under the fabric, touching the hot skin on her back. An electric current ran through the body, something stirred in the lower abdomen.

"Is it okay?" asked Ellie hoarsely, pulling away from the girl's lips and looking into her eyes. Kat was flushed and looked horny. Her breasts were heaving with rapid breathing, and her moist lips were slightly ajar.

"Yes..." she whispered, pulling Ellie closer by the neck.

There was no need to say anything else. They reconnected in a kiss, exploring each other with their lips and tongues. Ellie pulled Kat's back away from the door and backed into the living room, dragging the girl behind her. A shoulder bag fell to the floor first, then a denim jacket. When they reached the couch, Ellie kicked her legs over the edge of it and sank back into a sitting position. Kat piled in behind, saddling onto Ellie's thighs and getting on top of her. Her hands began to roam shamelessly around the girl's waist and thighs again, making her breathe more frequently in between kisses. Ellie wanted to touch her, to feel her soft skin under my fingers and not think about anything.

The mind completely disconnected from the body, letting the tension and everything that had been building up inside of her lately escape. Kat's lips were hot and moist, and she could forget herself in them for a long time. Ellie's hands crept higher to the middle of her back, lifting the fabric of her sweater. The girl on top of her lifted her arms, allowing her to pull it off completely, and exposing her upper body.

"Is it okay?" asked Ellie again, covering Kat's collarbones and neck with kisses.

"Yes..."

They didn't talk anymore.


	10. BETTER THAN NOTHING

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hello, folks!  
> I've brought you some emotions again!  
> Also, I have some interesting and hot ideas that I want to share with you a little later.  
> And I've decided to release updates a little more often and be more productive to develop my writing skills and give more emotion with my stories. Much of this is thanks to your feedback and support, so thank you to each and every one of you.  
> This chapter is a little short, the next one will be almost twice as long.  
> Stay safe and share your thought!  
> Next update - 10th, Wednesday

All it took for Ellie to snap herself out of the disturbing shallow sleep was the sound of keys falling to the floor. Her eyes snapped open the second the loud clinking sound reached her ears. Ellie twisted her head a little, looking around the room, and heard a quiet "damn" outside the door on the street. Whoever was trying to enter the house clearly couldn't do it quietly, and it could only be one person.

_ Fuck, fuck, fuck... _

Ellie glanced quickly at the door, where the key was already twisting in the door lock, and at the girl asleep next to it. Kat was lying by Ellie's side, her leg, arm, and all of her left side thrown over her own body. Her head rested peacefully on Ellie's chest, and the couch blanket barely covered her naked body. They fell asleep on the same couch in the living room, not bothering to move upstairs.

_ FUCK, FUCK, FUCK... _

There was no time to do anything, so Ellie closed her eyes, pretending to be asleep and praying to herself that Kat wouldn't wake up. The key finished its last turn, and the lock clicked softly in silence. Ellie opened one eye as slightly and imperceptibly as she could. Her eyelashes were almost sticking together, obstructing her vision, but it was enough to observe part of the living room. Morning light was already streaming in through the windows, faintly illuminating the room, which meant it was now about five in the morning. Ellie quickly tugged at the plaid with her hand one last time, trying to cover Kat a little harder, but it didn't do much to improve the situation. Ellie found herself in only her jeans unbuttoned, and the hand of the girl lying on top of her was covering her breasts.

The doorknob turned, and Dina slowly stepped inside. Ellie could see the silhouette of her figure through her eyelashes. Her heart began to beat frantically in her chest at the realization that Dina was about to see them. It was unbearable to feel it and wait for that inevitable moment. Ellie wanted to fall through this very couch, to disappear and never exist.

_ Lord, kill me right now... _

Dina closed the door behind her and slowly turned to face the living room. Her gaze fell first to the floor, where Kat's bag and jacket were lying, then it traveled to the couch and finally fell to the bodies lying on it. Ellie immediately closed her eyes tightly, afraid that her peeping would be noticed. She couldn't see the expression on Dina's face, but she could hear that she froze in place and didn't move. Even her clothes didn't rustle, so much so that she had grown in place. There was a lingering silence in the living room that seemed like an eternity. Her heart seemed to be beating so loudly in that moment that Dina could hear it and know that she was awake.

_ God, please... _

  
  


A few seconds more, and the room was filled with quiet, hurried footsteps, Dina ran upstairs as quietly and quickly as she could. A second later, Ellie heard the door to her room slam shut, and then - silence. Her heart was already beating at her throat, and her face was burning with heat from everything that had happened in those short two minutes. Ellie pulled her right hand off the couch and rubbed her eyes and forehead with her fingers, trying to comprehend how she'd gotten herself into such a ridiculous situation in the first place.

Kat moved slightly, sighing in her sleep, burrowing her nose into the girl's neck and hugging her arms a little harder. Ellie took a breath and slowly ran her hand down her bare back, feeling the soft skin beneath her fingers and turning her thoughts to this sensation. Kat murmured something to herself and continued to sniff peacefully. Her fingers ran down the recess between her back muscles, reached the bottom of her lower back, and slowly came back up. This girl was so fragile and delicate, so soft and supple, that for a second Ellie had the feeling that she wasn't worthy to touch her and hold her like this in her hands. It seemed that her own hands were too rough and her intentions were not too serious.

Ellie ducked her nose into Kat's hair, kissing the top of her head gently.

"Hey, baby...," she whispered softly, continuing to stroke Kat's back.

The girl slowly opened her eyes and hissed, pulling her head away from Ellie's chest. Her hair was tangled and there was a small pink print on her cheek, but she was still beautiful and looked very cute in this half-asleep state. Ellie again felt like a thief who had stolen something he had no right to take.

"Hey...", Kat replied just as quietly, spreading a modest sleepy smile and rubbing her nose against Ellie's cheek.

"It's morning."

"Uh-huh..."

"Shower and coffee?"

"That'd be great."

"Okay..."

Ellie slowly removed her hand and slid off the couch, searching the floor for her things. Pulling on a sports top and T-shirt, she zipped up her jeans and headed upstairs. With each new step that brought her closer to Dina's room, it became uncomfortable. Ellie knew that Dina wouldn't come out while she and Kat were here so as not to embarrass them or give away that she had seen them. But the feeling of unease was still sitting somewhere deep inside, keeping her from relaxing.

At the door, Ellie slowed her steps and listened for sounds behind the door. The room was completely silent, and that was comforting. Either Dina was asleep after a rough night out, or she didn't want to be discovered. Both options made it safe to spend the morning with Kat without any witnesses. Once in the bathroom, Ellie quickly splashed some water on her face and looked in the mirror. 

_ How am I supposed to look Dina in the eye now? _

_ And sooner or later I'll have to look into her eyes. _

_ Shit... _

_ Okay. _

_ There's a naked girl lying on my couch right now. _

_ I'll make her the world's best coffee and walk her home. _

_ And then I'll think about everything... _

Ellie hurriedly brushed her teeth and cleaned herself up. As she came out of the bathroom, she saw Kat walking down the hall toward her. She was wearing nothing but the shirt that was Ellie's, and it was a little too big for her, reaching halfway down her thigh and covering her nakedness. The picture was unexpected, but very attractive. Ellie quickly came out of her stupor at what she saw and smiled faintly, looking at the girl in front of her. 

Kat approached her with an embarrassed look on her face and wrapped her arms around her waist, responding with a seductive smile.

"Do you want to shower together?"

Ellie wasn't expecting such an offer, and hovered for a moment, trying to hide the confusion on her face. She was enjoying Kat's company and her tempting offer, but there were too many extraneous thoughts running through her head for that. 

"Uh... No, I... Mmm, I'd better make us some coffee."

There was a slight look of disappointment on Kat's face. She studied Ellie's eyes for another second and then pulled away, heading for the bathroom.

"Okay, handsome, I'll meet you downstairs then."

"Yeah."

The door to the tub closed and the sound of falling water was heard. Ellie rubbed her eyes and forehead once more and listened to the sounds in Dina's room. Silence. She admitted to herself that all her extraneous thoughts were really mostly thoughts of Dina and her reaction to this morning's situation. 

_ If she was awake, she must have heard that dialogue. _

_ Shit... _

Ellie stood at the door for another minute and headed downstairs. Her hands began to perform the usual mechanical actions, pouring coffee into the cezve pot and pouring just the right amount of water. It was a little distracting. When the coffee was ready, she poured it into mugs and stared at the tabletop in front of her, leaning on it with both hands. Not long ago she'd been standing like that, thinking about how Dina had reacted to the news that she was gay. And now she's thinking about how Dina reacted to the news that she'd slept with Kat. These thoughts brought a sudden wave of irritation from somewhere in the back of her mind.

_ Why am I worrying so much about this again? _

_ This is my personal life and my home. _

_ I shouldn't care what anyone else thinks about it. _

_ I wonder if Dina will say anything to me about it. _

_ What will she even say to me when I see her? _

_ How does she... _

"Hey."

Familiar hands suddenly wrapped their arms around Ellie's waist from behind, and a miniature female body pressed against her back.

"Is my coffee ready yet?" asked Kat playfully, laying her head on Ellie's shoulder and peering over it. The warmth from her body enveloped her back pleasantly, pulling her away from her haphazard musings.

Ellie slowly turned to face her, enclosing her in a cautious embrace and pulling her to her. Kat's hair was slightly damp, and there was still nothing on her body but her shirt.

"My shirt looks good on you."

"Oh, really? Can I keep it?"

"Sure."

"Soon I'll have a whole collection of your things."

"If it makes you happy, I don't mind."

"Really?"

There was so much trust and warmth, so much tenderness and happiness in Kat's eyes that it was impossible to do anything that would break her fairy crystal castle. She was like a child confiding in an adult, looking into green eyes and literally glowing from within.

"Really," Ellie answered quietly, wondering one single question: how did she manage to make someone so happy? After all, she had done absolutely nothing to make that happen. Yes, she had done everything she could to make Kat feel good about herself that night, but she certainly hadn't done enough to have the happiness of seeing such a glowing face of such a beautiful girl in front of her. She didn't deserve it.

In response to these thoughts, Kat ran her hands up to Ellie's neck without a word and pulled her close for a tender kiss. The taste of her lips finally took the cluttered thoughts out of her head, drawing her into a world of sensation and touch. 

"I'll walk you home after," Ellie said, after capturing Kat's lower lip one last time, biting lightly on it and making the girl quietly catch her breath.

"Okay..."

_ Okay. _

*************************************************************************

The streets were cool, but cozy. Fresh air and a walk tidied up her thoughts better than any psychologist. Whenever Ellie needed to think, she always went for a walk and just walked where her feet led her until her thoughts formed a clear picture. It was almost the same this time. When her feet finally led her back to the front porch, Ellie caught herself thinking that she didn't know what she wanted more - to see Dina, or to stay out of her sight for as long as possible.

Still undecided, she unlocked the door with her key and stepped inside. Immediately followed by the sound of a broken mug and a quiet scolding.

"Dina?"

Ellie peeked around the corner of the hallway worriedly and saw Dina squatting over the shards of what had recently been a mug full of coffee.

"Oh shit..."

"Dina, are you okay?"

"Hey, freckles, hi!" replied Dina, raising her head with an apologetic smile on her face. She looked confused and clearly not expecting visitors. Ellie took two more steps forward, studying her face and mood, completely forgetting her recent thoughts. Dina's gaze caught Ellie's and her heart skipped a beat. She smiled once more confusedly, apologizing while hurriedly picking up the shards at the same time. The rush seemed strange, and everything seemed damn awkward.

"Shit!"

Her hands immediately loosened, dropping the shards back to the floor, and blood spurted out in the palm of her hand. Ellie flew over to her before her brain could realize it, and took the wounded palm in her hands.

"Show me."

"It's nothing," Dina said quietly, but still she obeyed Ellie's hands and unclenched her palm, revealing a shallow but very nasty cut. Ellie studied it for a second more, then turned around, not letting Dina's palm out of her hand, and reached for the cabinet where the first aid kit was. Taking out a vial of antiseptic, she opened it with her teeth and led Dina by the hand closer to the sink without saying a word. Dina obeyed obediently and only grimaced a little as the antiseptic poured into her palm, washing away the blood and dripping down her hand. It dripped down Ellie's hand, too, because she still kept Dina's palm in hers, continuing to hold it gently in her weight over the sink.

In total silence, they both stared at the foaming bubbles of pink antiseptic on their hands, standing side by side with their shoulders pressed against each other. Ellie became aware of this closeness and suddenly felt a lump in her throat that began to prevent her from breathing and thinking normally. Her heart began to beat faster, pounding in her ears and drowning out her already fragmented thoughts. She shifted her gaze unconsciously to Dina, whose face was so close, and let her palm out of her hand, taking a step back.

"Don't move, I'll get a bandage..."

"I think we switched places," Dina said in a slightly nervous voice after a short pause, "Now it's your turn to patch me up."

Ellie returned to the sink with the bandage in her hand and gently pressed the white cloth to her wounded palm, trying not to look at Dina.

"I can take it from here," she said quietly, and took her hand away first.

"Okay..."

Ellie threw a quick glance into her brown eyes and took two steps back, turning to face the room and leaning her back against the tabletop.

"Walked?"

"What?"

"It's about eight in the morning, and you come home from the street," Dina explained.

"Ah... Yeah... Thought I'd take a little walk."

_ Lie. _

_ Not really, though. _

"Why are you so early?"

"I just got here."

_ Lie. _

"Yeah?"

"Yes. I slept over at Mel's house."

_ Another lie. _

_ But why? _

"Okay, I'll go to my room... Thanks for your help."

"Yes..."

Dina threw one last embarrassed smile at Ellie and headed upstairs, leaving more questions than answers behind. The rest of the antiseptic was still foaming at the bottom of the sink, slowly turning to liquid and flowing down the drain. Into the endless cold darkness. 

_ ********************************************************************************* _

From that day on, Ellie saw Dina very rarely at home. It was as if they'd gone back in time a month, exchanging barely a dozen words in a week. Whether it was Dina avoiding her again, or whether she was just absorbed in her new relationship with Jesse, it wasn't as painful this time. Mostly thanks to the fact that Kat was around most of the time and spent many evenings at Ellie's house.

There was just one "but."

The longer it went on, the more often there were thoughts of coveted loneliness and a strange inner irritation.

When Ellie would meet Dina in the kitchen in the morning and steal a few minutes of their shared breakfast, it was like a breath of fresh air. When she was alone in her garage, it was a welcome moment of solitude. When she spent time with Kat, it was nice, but nothing more.

"Hey, El... Is everything okay? It's like you're not here."

"Uh... No, no... It's okay."

It wasn't okay. Or rather, it was normal. That awful word "normal." It twisted her insides into a knot at night and turned her days into faceless shadows of life. Ellie so wished that Kat would do something beyond "normal" once in a while. That she would turn on loud music and start jumping around the room in a wild dance, or sing weird songs in the shower, and not care if anyone heard. That she would allow herself something she didn't have to get approval for. Anything at all. 

"Hey, baby."

"Hmm?"

"Let's go for a motorcycle ride around town at night?"

"Um... Isn't that dangerous? I mean, the bike is so unprotected. Do you even have a helmet?"

"Come on, you'll love it! I'm an experienced driver, you don't have to worry about."

"Well, if you say so..."

The bike was finished and literally shining. Ellie was very proud of her work and loved coming to the garage just to sit on the couch with a mug of coffee and admire her creation. She grabbed Kat by the arm, literally pulling her off the couch and pulling her away from the boring melodrama they had been watching for the past hour. Kat obediently followed her, as she always did.

The garage greeted them with its coolness, and Ellie inhaled the familiar pleasant smell of the workshop. Kat only shivered and wrapped her arms around herself, looking around the space. 

"Here, take my jacket."

Ellie handed her her leather jacket, which was hanging on the wall by the entrance. It was old and worn, but perfect for motorcycle rides. Kat took it carefully and slipped it over her frail shoulders. Ellie walked over to the bike, gently stroking the shiny blue tank with the palm of her hand.

"Is that your way of saying hello to it?"

"Yeah."

"That's weird."

"I've spent more time with this bike than most people I know. It's alive and feels everything," Ellie turned to Kat and winked at her, "You better believe it."

"Uh... Okay."

"This is Enfield. He's twice my age, can you believe it?"

"Okay... I hope he lives a little longer or gets us home in one piece."

"He had a good mechanic working on him, you know," Ellie smiled, trying to cheer Kat up and get her excited about the ride.

"I trust you completely, that's why I'm agreeing to it."

"Okay, then let's roll it outside and catch the wind."

They didn't catch the wind for long because Kat soon began complaining about the cold and the fear of oncoming cars, and she asked for a ride home.

"It was unusual, but I'd rather sit in a closed car than just drive around the streets like that. It was a little scary...," she summed up their trip and kissed Ellie on the cheek goodbye, "Thanks for the ride, babe, see you tomorrow."

"Yeah..."

Ellie waited for Kat to safely enter her house and started the engine. This time she caught the kind of wind she wanted.

As she pulled up to the garage, she saw Dina coming out of the house, closing the door behind her. She had a gym bag hanging over her shoulders and seemed to be in a hurry to get somewhere. Ellie slowed down and turned off the ignition, watching the girl's figure.

"О... Hello, freckles," she greeted with a smile.

"Hi. Leaving already?"

"Yeah... Stopped by to get some stuff," Dina crumpled in place, clearly feeling uncomfortable. Ellie felt awkward about it, too, and scratched her neck, wondering what to say.

"Are you...uh...coming back tonight?"

"No, I'm staying at Jesse's. He's giving me a ride to school tomorrow."

"Uh-huh..."

"And where did you come from?"

"I dropped Kat off."

"О... Well, lucky her... I remember our trip when you took me for a ride. So much emotion! I'll be sure to get myself a motorcycle when I start working and take some driving lessons from you. Okay, freckles, I gotta go, see ya."

"Um... Can I give you a ride?"

"No... Thanks. I'm not far."

"Okay..."

"See ya!"

"Yeah..."

"By the way, that leather jacket looks damn good on you. It looks hot," Dina said with a smile, making Ellie blush, and headed in the opposite direction on the sidewalk.

Ellie walked her eyes to the corner and opened the garage door, rolling the bike inside. Then she sat down on the couch next to the workbench and hid her face in her palms, pressing her eyes until she saw white circles. They slowly turned from white dots into large rings and blurred into the darkness, dancing their bizarre dance. Ellie tried to catch them with her eyes and understand what this dance was telling her. But there was no system to this dance, no story. There was no feeling.


	11. I DON'T CARE

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hello there!  
> Here we go and get some emotions!
> 
> I adore writing, giving it my all. I like to combine my life experience and imagination to create something that gives people emotions and heartstrings. And I've been thinking about building a community around that for a long time. A community of people who care about the topic of female love and the beauty of gay relationships. I have hundreds more beautiful stories in my head, and around me there are thousands of people with real and beautiful stories from life. And I want to make something worthwhile out of it, share these stories and help people find something important in it for themselves, find support and inspiration in this. If such an idea resonates with you, let me know.
> 
> Next update - 14th, Sunday (just in time for my birthday!)

"Hi, El. Why so sour?"

"Hi, Tony. Nothing, just didn't get much sleep."

Tony looked at Ellie with an attentive and understanding look and sat down on the edge of her desk.

"I see. Talk to me. Things not going well at home again?"

He began twirling the pencil he used to make all sorts of notes as he worked and waited patiently for an answer. Ellie sighed, rolled her chair away from the table, and turned to face Tony.

"No, it's getting along, it's just... I don't know."

"How's your relationship with Kat?"

Tony looked up, studying Ellie's face. She faintly crinkled and moved her eyebrows to the bridge of her nose, lowering her gaze.

"OK."

"Just OK?"

Tony felt, he knew something was wrong, and there was no use in hiding the truth. And there was no reason to. After all, that's what friends are for, to give honest advice when you're utterly confused and feeling like an idiot. 

"It's just OK," Ellie repeated, "And... it feels... like nothing. I mean, she's wonderful, gentle, caring, but it's... It's like watching from the sidelines a show that doesn't really have anything to do with your life."

"So you feel bad with her?"

"No, no, she's nice, it's just... She's so...", Ellie thought for a second, trying to express what she had felt for a long time, but didn't want to admit it to herself, "There's no fire in her, you know?"

Tony put a pencil behind his ear and rubbed the stubble on his beard with a thoughtful expression on his face.

"Oh, I see your point."

Ellie scratched her neck and threw up her hands in despair, illustrating her thoughts.

"Everything is so predictable. I can always tell in advance how our evening will go."

"Mmm, so you can suggest whatever you want and she'll go along with it."

Tony tried, as always, to look for something good in the situation, but it wasn't doing much good right now.

"That's what's infuriating. Sometimes I propose, sometimes I don't. And Kat's always like ... water that takes the shape of a vessel."

"And you're that vessel?"

"Hell, yeah, I'm the fucking vessel."

Ellie hid her face in her palms, rubbing her eyes and forehead.

"And you want your clay sides licked by fire, not washed by water."

"That sounds strange... But, yes."

"I see your point."

"I guess I want too much. I need to calm down and just enjoy it."

"If it bothers you, it means you've already felt the fire once and now you don't want to settle for water. That means there's no going back. Your sides are burned. You need your fire, or you'll still be raw clay."

"Sometimes you speak a language I do not understand. Can you keep it simple?"

"Forgive me, but wisdom is not spoken in the language of mere mortals."

"I've noticed that."

"Anyway, El, just talk to Kat. If you feel out of place with her, you should reconsider your relationship. Don't mislead a girl if you don't know what you want yourself."

"I'll think about it."

"And how are things with Dina?" asked Tony after a brief pause. His penetrating gaze went immediately to his companion, and Ellie twitched faintly at the sound of that name.

"What about her?" she asked a counter question, wanting to hide her reaction to it.

"Are you communicating?"

"Of course. Why do you ask?"

"Communicating well?"

Tony was cautious, but stood his ground, striking at one point and seeking the truth that would shed light on the real situation.

"Not much lately," Ellie admitted after a pause, "She spends most of her time with Jesse. I mean, they're together now..."

"Does that upset you?"

"Why would it?"

There were notes of irritation and implicit threat in Ellie's voice. Her change in tone had set a line in their conversation, and Tony accepted it without even a change in his face. Ellie had always appreciated his ability to be empathic and tactful.

"Yeah, nothing, just asking."

There was a short pause.

"I don't care. She has her life, I have mine. It's not like we have to be best friends and always be together."

The irritation was growing stronger, and it was clear that Ellie wasn't hiding it well.

"It used to be like that," Tony added.

"That was before."

"I see."

"Okay, the job won't do itself, let's go."

"Yeah, let's get this baby on wheels."

And they got to work without further ado. Hands performed a series of familiar actions to disassemble the engine. When the parts in need of repair showed out, the brain shut off from all the problems and puzzled over the task at hand. The mechanics really helped clear the head. However, it only worked as long as the work process lasted. Too briefly.

****************************************************************************************

"Oh, Ellie... Yes... Oh, God..."

Kat clung to Ellie with her hands, tilting her head back on the pillow and arching her back against the movement of her hand. The window was open, letting the night into their room, sending a chill down the surface of her sweaty skin. The sounds of breathing, whispers, and muffled moans mingled with the ringing silence, echoing somewhere in the recesses of consciousness. Ellie touched her lips to Kat's neck, where the jugular vein protruded, and felt her pulse. Her heartbeat was so fast and loud that it seemed about to stop.

"Oh my God... Please, yes... I... Oooh..."

Kat arched her back one last time and cramped her hips around Ellie's arm, shaking with the onset of her orgasm. Her hands dug into the girl's back so hard they must have left marks. But Ellie felt no pain. In such moments of her and Kat's togetherness, she thought and cared only about Kat feelings and pleasure, thinking of herself last. This evening was no exception.

When Kat called and asked to come over, Ellie was home alone and sitting in her room, clutching her guitar and trying to distract herself from the oppressive silence. But the music did not come to her in spite of all her efforts, mockingly slipping through her fingers and dissolving into the noise of the inner dialogue. Ellie thought a lot about her conversation with Tony, but never decided what she should or should not do. In the end, she decided to just make Kat as happy as she could for as long as she could without worrying about her feelings. And in doing so, think as little as possible about Dina and how she missed her sometimes. 

It was easy to make Kat happy. Any attention, a gentle touch, or a warm word made her literally glow from within. Ellie had a knack for spotting such things, always being very sensitive to the girls around her. Showing her attention in the little things, she could make a girl feel beautiful, loved, and worth a thousand others without words. Ellie believed that any girl was worthy of that, and that you didn't have to be a genius to do it. Apparently, however, most guys don't do it for girls. Some don't do it even for the ones they supposedly loved. This phenomenon had always been a mystery to Ellie, and sometimes she looked at some guys as uncouth and unworthy of female attention in any way. 

When her phone vibrated and Kat asked her to come over, Ellie indifferently put the now useless guitar aside and headed downstairs past Dina's room, which was closed and empty. Dina had been sleeping out of home more and more often, and Ellie caught herself thinking that she was beginning to feel annoyed about it. Looking at the closed door, she remembered the day she had caught Dina dancing in the morning sunlight. The memory was so vivid and clear in her mind that she could replay it in her head like a movie, with almost no loss of quality. As Ellie brewed herself coffee and inhaled its beautiful aroma, sitting alone in the kitchen, she remembered the day Dina had brought coffee for her to the garage and asked her about mechanics. These thoughts would arise on their own as if out of nowhere and quickly drift off into nowhere, leaving behind an aftertaste of sadness and loneliness. Despite the fact that Kat was around, Ellie often felt lonely even in her company. The magic from the scent of her perfume and hair gradually lost its magical power.

As she started the motorcycle and rode through the night streets, Ellie wasn't expecting anything special from this evening. More accurately, she hadn't thought much about it at all. Kat had called her, and Ellie would be there. That was all she needed to know. When the front door opened, she was greeted by blue burning eyes. Kat grabbed Ellie by the pockets of her jeans and pulled her into the apartment, pressing her hips against hers and pulling her into a deep, hot kiss.

"I've missed your hands and your smell..." she said into Ellie's lips, pulling her away from the door and into the depths of the apartment. A slight tingle ran down her spine from those words. Kat had never been so active and assertive about it before, remaining captive to modesty. But today she was clearly in a special mood, and Ellie didn't mind.

And now they lay on the bed, intertwining their bodies and enjoying the coolness of the night. Kat gradually regained her breath, her heart calmed, and her body completely relaxed. Ellie gently ran her fingertips over the skin of her thigh from her knee to the hollow of her stomach and wondered what it was about her that attracted Kat so much. Maybe it was just sex, because they never talked about their feelings for each other. They didn't talk too much at all.

Kat took one last breath and slowly reached for the button on Ellie's jeans, which remained on her.

"You don't have to," Ellie said quietly, stopping her hand with her own, "Relax and rest."

"But I want to..."

Kat's eyes were really sleepy, and it showed. Ellie kissed the corner of her lips and got out of bed, reaching for her top and T-shirt.

"Are you staying?" asked Kat quietly, rolling over onto her side and propping her head up with her hand. 

Her hair fell to her shoulders and flowed in golden waves down her chest. She was very beautiful, lying on those dark sheets, illuminated by the moonlight falling from the window. Ellie looked at Kat calmly and fondly, imprinting this picture and this moment in her memory. She didn't want to stay, but she wanted to keep the memory as vivid as the memory of Dina.

"I'd go home, baby," Ellie replied after a short pause.

"Are you sure?"

"Yes."

"Sometimes I feel like you're running away from me to someone else," Kat said with a sleepy smile.

"I like to be alone sometimes."

"I'm starting to get jealous of your loneliness."

"It's an inherent part of me, you just have to deal with it."

Kat only smiled sadly in response and placed her palm on Ellie's hand. The gesture made something squeeze inside and the feeling that she wasn't worthy of this moment seeped back into her chest. Kat gently stroked her knuckles and withdrew her hand.

"I'll lock up after you later."

"Okay..."

***************************************************************************************

The drive home took the usual amount of time, and Enfield pulled up smoothly at the garage door. Ellie noticed at once that the lights in the windows of her house were on. Her feet carried her to the garage as quickly as possible, where she left her bike and then carefully walked down the hall to the living room. The lights were on, and on the table beside the sofa was an on laptop with some kind of movie on the screen. The room seemed empty. 

Ellie glanced around the kitchen and then slowly walked around the couch. She immediately saw Dina lying on her side, curled up under the plaid. Her eyes were tightly closed, a few unruly strands of hair falling over her face. The plaid slid a little off her petite shoulders, and Ellie unconsciously wanted to fix it. She quietly stepped closer and put the movie to a stop with the press of a key. The room fell into silence, and Dina twitched in her sleep. A small wrinkle appeared between her eyebrows, and she curled up even more, nestling her nose into the edge of the plaid. Ellie squatted down beside the couch and was as careful as possible to adjust the plaid, putting it back on the sleeping girl's shoulders. It felt natural and pleasant to take care of Dina. It made her want to become that very blanket and wrap its warmth around her little body, protecting and safeguarding her from the cold and anything bad that might happen.

Ellie slowly withdrew her hand, watching the girl's face and listening to her quiet breathing. Freezing in place so that no folds of clothing rustled, she practically stopped breathing herself. Inhale and outhale. Inhale, outhale. Dina's breathing was steady and calm, nothing bothering her in her sleep. Ellie could probably sit next to her like that until morning. 

Letting herself finally breathe and move, she slowly brought her fingers to one of the loose strands and gently tucked it behind Dina's ear. Dina twitched once more, and slowly opened her eyes.

_ Oh, shit... _

"Freckles...?" she muttered in a sleepy voice, pulling her head away from the pillow.

Ellie didn't expect Dina to wake up, and she jerked back, caught off guard not knowing where to put her hand.

"Um... Hi." 

"Hi... I think I fell asleep... What time is it?"

"Um... I don't know, about eleven."

"I thought you weren't coming back tonight."

"I remember it's our Friday night movie night, but it's been a while since we... We don't spend time together on Fridays, so..."

"Yeah, I know, that's why I didn't expect you to come."

"Why didn't you call?"

"I figured you weren't alone since you weren't home. I didn't want to interrupt."

The events of the past two hours flashed before the eyes, Kat's flushed face, her naked body, and her hot breath. Ellie's cheeks were beginning to take on a rosy hue. She looked into Dina's eyes and looked away, afraid that she was somehow reading her mind.

"Yeah..."

Dina studied her rosy face and after a second, she looked away, too. She seemed to guess what had embarrassed Ellie. A faint shadow fell over her face, and her brown eyes grew a little sadder.

"Yeah..."

"Mmm... So, maybe..." began Ellie, trying to erase the resulting awkwardness and jump at the chance to spend some time with Dina, "Can we watch a movie after all? What's this one about?"

"Um... Well, considering I fell asleep practically at the beginning...", Dina began with a chuckle, and Ellie felt a rush of warmth at the sight of her smile, "It's something about hunters and a bear."

"So, and...?"

"That's too much information already! Have you forgotten how I watch movies?"

"You don't forget something like that," Ellie replied with a smile.

The phone in the pocket vibrated, interrupting their collective quiet laughter. Ellie reached for it and looked at the screen. It was Kat. She was probably waiting for Ellie to text her when she got home, or call her. It was late, and Kat sometimes worried about how careless Ellie was driving on the roads at night. The three-letter name glowed all over the screen, and she quickly brushed it off, returning the phone to her pocket. Looking up, Ellie saw Dina staring into her face. There was no way she hadn't noticed Kat's name on the screen.

"Your girlfriend is worried about you. It's worth answering," Dina said quietly, continuing to glare at Ellie. Her voice sounded alien and her face became impenetrable. The phone vibrated again, this time from an incoming message. Dina looked away tiredly, pulling the comforter tighter over her shoulders and standing up. Ellie got to her feet across from her, too, watching her face and trying to figure out what she was thinking. There wasn't much room between the couch and the table, so they were standing quite close together, and her heart began to beat treacherously faster than usual again. Ellie grimaced, watching Dina's face and frantically trying to think of something to say, but nothing came to mind. She only hoped that Dina would somehow sense without words how much she wanted to stay with her on that couch and watch that stupid movie.

"I should probably go to bed now."

"And the movie?"

"Finish it without me, then you can tell me how it ends," Dina stared at Ellie for another second and then took a step to the side, increasing the distance between them, "Good night."

"Good night..."

And she was gone. The room immediately seemed cold and empty without her. Ellie sank tiredly onto the couch and ran her hand over it, trying to feel the warmth under her palm. There was still a paused movie on the laptop screen, and she pressed the space bar, starting playback and leaning back on the back of the couch.

_ Damn... _

_ Why am I so unlucky? _

_ I miss her. _

A huge black bear appeared on the screen. He walked through the snow-covered forest, leaving deep trails in the snow behind him and letting out a long, painful roar. There was an arrow sticking out of its back that jiggled with every movement and hurt the beast.

_ I miss her smile and her laugh. _

_ Hell, even her loud music and dancing. _

The beast let out another wistful roar and tried to reach for the arrow on its back with its teeth, but it was too big and clumsy for that. It reached uselessly for the protruding arrowhead, and it hurt itself even more.

_ I shouldn't think about it. _

_ Dina has her own life, she has Jesse, she looks happy, which means she's doing well.  _

_ That's the most important thing. _

_ And I have Kat.  _

_ She's having a good time with me. _

_ That's the most important thing, too. _

The bear gave up trying to help himself and roared one last time, throwing his head back toward the gray cloud-cloaked sky. The sky did nothing to help him, and he wandered on. There was now a small bloodstain in his footprints.

Ellie stared at the unfortunate beast on the screen and tried to shuffle her feelings into the recesses of her mind where they belonged. But it seemed that as soon as she turned away from the one feeling she'd managed to tame to take on another, it immediately jumped out of its box and began to run uncontrollably through her nervous system.

Suddenly, perhaps, the first rational thought popped into the head.

_ I'll make arrangements with Dina for next Friday night and make us dinner. _

_ And we'll talk and spend some time together. _

_ Yes, I'll do that. _

Ellie jumped up from the couch, impatient, trying to decide what to do next. She didn't want to go to Dina with the proposal now, for fear of disturbing her. She didn't want to say her plan out loud at all, for fear of getting rejected. Texting might also get her rejection.

_ I know... _

Ellie closed the laptop and flew up the stairs. Once in her room, she took a white sheet of paper and a pen out of her desk drawer and scribbled a few words. Not long ago Dina had left her notes, now it was her turn. Ellie reread what she had written several times and, making sure everything was in order, went out into the hallway. The door to Dina's room was closed, but a faint glow came through the crack between the door and the floor. So she was still awake. Ellie wrinkled her head in place for a few seconds and slid her note under the door, leaving only a small part of it sticking out. That was it, no turning back, the deed was done.

There was a faint rustling sound behind the door, and Ellie saw the edge of her note completely disappear under the door.

_ Oh... _

Her feet were stuck to the floor, and Ellie stared blankly into the crack. After a minute, the edge of the note reappeared under the door. She squatted down and gingerly pulled out the piece of paper. There were only two words written underneath her ragged scrawl.

_ With pleasure. _

********************************************************************

Flour. Flour is everywhere. On the hands, on the face, on the table, and even on the walls.

"Shit..."

Ellie stood over the lump that faintly resembled dough and stared at it as if that might make it come to her senses and turn into something normal. The mixer Dina had brought into the house literally rebelled against her and scattered the flour as far as it could go. The table was stocked with pre-prepared ingredients to become a pizza later, and a bottle of wine waited patiently in the fridge.

The decision to cook something on my own was made without a second thought. For a cozy atmosphere, homemade pizza seemed like a very good idea. Now Ellie didn't think so.

"Well, come on..."

She added a little olive oil as if it were a magic elixir, trusting in its magical power to fix everything. The oil spread dejectedly into the recesses of the lump, and Ellie crumpled it uncertainly in her palms. The lump hadn't changed much, but her hands were now not only in the flour, but also in the oil.

"You've got to be kidding me."

Ellie slowly closed her eyes, asking for the universe's patience and strength, and slapped the lump on the countertop. The universe didn't respond, but the flour made her nose itch. There was the sound of a door opening behind her, making her jerk and turn around. Ellie unconsciously wiped her hands on her own shirt, covering the mess with her back like a delinquent teenager. Dina appeared in the living room, smiling and beautiful as always.

"Hi!"

She took a few steps closer, but then stopped, paying attention to what was going on in the kitchen. Her brown eyes slid over the kitchen counter littered with flour, then over Ellie's face and her already dirty shirt.

"God, I hope it's cocaine."

"Hi...," Ellie grinned confusedly and scratched her neck, leaving a trail of flour on it as well, "I was expecting you later."

"You got Vietnam of baking here?"

Dina tossed her bag on the chair and stepped closer, a wide, understanding smile spreading across her face. 

"You look like you could use some help," she said, walking over to the countertop and running her finger over it, picking up the flour. Ellie silently spread her hands, confessing her helplessness and taking a step to the side. Dina regarded her flushed face for a second, then gently poked a lump of dough with her finger.

"Mm-hmm... There's some work to be done here."

"Your mixer almost killed me."

"He doesn't like strangers. And you obviously haven't slowed down. Right there.

Dina took the mixer in her hand and pointed to the scale with the numbers. Ellie scratched her neck once more. She dealt with technology every day, but this little kitchen appliance cruelly lowered her self-esteem. 

"О..."

"Actually, freckles, there's a bigger mistake in all this," Dina said conspiratorially, folding her arms across her chest and keeping that cute condescending smile on her face.

"Hmm?"

"One: you cook without music."

"Um..."

"And that's generally inexcusable," she concluded, not giving Ellie a chance to justify herself.

"And the second?"

"Second: you're doing it without a glass of wine in your hand."

Ellie couldn't resist smiling, which grew wider and wider as Dina smiled back at her.

"Well, that's easy to fix," she replied.

"And I'll fix the first one," Dina cheerfully retorted, "And we'll try to make something more edible."

_ Perfect. _

A few minutes later, soft, upbeat music wafted around the room, and the glasses were filled with semi-sweet red wine. After the first sip, her chest felt warmer and her thoughts flowed more freely. Ellie stood with her back to the tabletop and watched as Dina danced and kneaded a new batch of dough. Her movements were as light and graceful as ever. Her hands moved deftly, turning the flour and salt and yeast into something similar to what Ellie was trying to achieve.

"You know, you should bury that lump with honors in tribute after all he's been through," Dina teased, taking a sip from her glass.

"And after what your mixer did to me?"

"Well, white suits you," she laughed, getting to work.

"So that's how it is, let's see..."

Ellie paused for a moment as a sign of impending attack and then with a quick, careful motion smeared flour on Dina's cheek. She clearly hadn't expected such a turn and only gaped in surprise. It was very amusing to see her face like that and allow herself to fool around a bit.

"White suits you, too," Ellie pointed out, clearly pleased with herself.

Dina stood there gaping for a second, then slowly closed her mouth with a confident and calm expression. She lowered her eyelids, smiling slyly, and just as slowly scooped a handful of flour into her fist without taking her eyes off of Ellie's face. Then, without breaking eye contact, she brought her fist to her mouth and blew sharply into it. Ellie had watched her face as if hypnotized until that moment, and barely had time to close her eyes when the flour hit her sharply in the face.

A second later she heard a ringing laugh and opened her eyes. Dina was bent in half with laughter and was clearly enjoying the result. Tears streamed down her cheeks, and Ellie smiled back involuntarily.

"You should see your face right now," Dina squeezed out through laughter, and Ellie continued to smile like a teenager and just stood there, not moving or trying to get rid of the flour on her face. It was all so easy and so natural. Just being here, next to Dina, making her laugh and laughing with her. 

Dina caught her breath, wiped away her tears, and walked over to Ellie with the napkin in her hand, still smiling. She stared at the result of her labor for another second, glancing around the white face and the frost-covered eyebrows, and then carefully and gently began to wipe the flour from the victim's forehead and cheeks. Ellie stood there, frozen in place, letting Dina do it. Her heart began to beat a little more often again from this contact and how close they now stood to each other. Dina's face was a little flushed, either from laughter or wine, and her eyes were moist and burning with the fire that Ellie loved to see.

"Okay, you roll out the dough and I'll get the stuffing ready."

"Why exactly you preparing the stuffing?"

"Because otherwise all the stuffing will be in your stomach before it hits the dough, I know you." 

"That's not true!" protested Ellie, but Dina only poked her in the stomach with her index finger, making her bend in half and recoil. 

"Okay, okay," she surrendered, and stood sideways to Dina, taking hold of the rolling pin. 

They worked in silence for a while, listening to music and occasionally smiling to themselves. It was a beautiful moment, really beautiful. There was something natural and simple about it all, but so fulfilling. Cooking together in their shared kitchen, chatting, dancing, and laughing. What more could one want on a Friday night?

Ellie finished her task first and wiped her hands on a rag, watching what Dina was doing. Around her were several bowls that were gradually filling with sliced cheese, pepperoni, and tomatoes. She wielded a large, sharp knife so quickly and confidently that it was literally impressive.

"Were you a chef or a serial killer in a past life?" joked Ellie, continuing to watch mesmerized as the sharp blade hit the board with each movement. Dina grinned to herself and immediately put on a mysterious, flirtatious look.

"Right, but I won't tell you whether it's the former or the latter, so you'd better watch out."

Ellie stepped around her small figure on the other side and snatched a piece of pepperoni, quickly popping it into her mouth.

"Hey! Hands," Dina commanded, pointing the tip of her knife menacingly at Ellie. 

Ellie raised both hands up, exposing her palms and pretending not to do more. But as Dina turned back to the board, she moved closer to her left and wrapped her arm around behind her back, stealing a piece of cheese from the bowl on her right. Dina noticed and immediately slapped her hand with the palm of her hand, but Ellie only laughed back, continuing her attempts to grab the tomato this time from her left. The unexpected flank attack succeeded but didn't go unnoticed, and Dina gave up trying to fight Ellie's long arms and just started pushing her away, putting her back against her chest. 

They laughed, continuing to struggle for a few more seconds, until Dina leaned completely back against Ellie, finally pushing her away from the tabletop. This close contact instantly made her cheeks flush and her heart begin to beat an accelerated rhythm. The beast inside growled contentedly, causing a keen desire to wrap his arms around the girl's petite body and pull her tighter against him, burrowing into her hair. Ellie's arms moved in the air at Dina's sides like the most useless body parts in the world, and her brain desperately tried to start working properly.

"That's it, get out," Dina commanded with a laugh and took a step forward back toward the tabletop, breaking their contact. 

Her cheeks flushed visibly, too, and she stared at the undercut tomato without raising her eyes. Ellie took a step back, resting her back against the countertop that was in the center of the kitchen, and silently watched the girl in front of her, continuing to admire her movements. Her heart slowly calmed and the thoughts flowed more smoothly. She wanted to keep this moment in the memory, to stretch it into eternity, and to keep that feeling of warmth in the chest.

_ I wish we could do this every Friday. _

Some time after the pizza was in the oven and cooked, Dina took out the tray, and the kitchen was filled with a wonderful, seductive smell that made the mouth water. Everything was ready on the table, and all that was left was to cut the pizza and enjoy the evening to the fullest. Ellie took it upon herself to cut the pizza as smoothly and professionally as she knew how, while Dina made herself comfortable on the bar stool, taking a sip from her glass and watching her movements.

"God, we should have pizza night every Friday," Ellie said, sending the first slice of pizza into her mouth almost completely. Cheese stretched from her mouth as she put the leftovers back on the plate. Dina laughed as she watched her contented face and the way she snipped the cheese off with her fingers, sending it into her mouth next.

"Then we won't be able to get through the doors in a couple of months," she joked back.

"I'm sure you burn so many calories in your workouts, you could eat pizza at least every day."

"A flexible, strong body consists of more than just pepperoni, freckles."

"Whatever, it's worth it. We need to do it again next Friday. And the next."

Dina paused, dropping her piece back onto her plate and taking a sip before speaking again.

"Actually, I wanted to tell you something."

"Hmm?"

"Jesse suggested I move in with him..."

Ellie stopped chewing the second she realized what had been said.

"...and I think it's the right thing to do if I accept."

The pizza slipped from the fingers and fell onto the plate with a loud slap that initiated a grievous ringing silence. Ellie stared dumbly at Dina, trying to comprehend this information and opening her mouth silently.

"What?" she asked stupidly, trying to discern signs on Dina's face that this was a joke.

"I mean, you're with Kat now, too, and you want to spend time with her in your house. I don't want to get in the way of..."

"What?" repeated Ellie stupidly once more.

"I'm insanely grateful for everything you've done for me, taking me in here, putting up with my music and all... Now I can give you your silence back."

She grinned at the last words, but there was no laughter in her eyes, and it sounded fake. Ellie could feel something hot rising in her chest, preventing her from breathing normally. Her heart started beating somewhere in her throat, and it took her a few long seconds to finally pull herself together.

"That's it? Just like that?" she asked in an otherworldly voice a little louder than she meant to, "You're just going to leave? Are you fucking serious right now?"

Dina's face changed a little. She clearly hadn't expected her news to produce such a drastic change in mood, and she tensed a little.

"Look...," she began, but Ellie didn't let her finish.

"Will you go to him? After literally turning my life upside down? What the fuck?"

"Look, I'm sorry if I was too much of a pain in the ass at first..."

"Yes, you were. And now you're leaving just because someone suggested it to you? Very convenient."

Ellie felt the heat on her face and in her chest as if the temperature in the room had spiked. Anger from feeling her own helplessness in the face of the situation began to cover her eyes and speak in her place. Dina was going to leave her, leave her after everything that had happened between them. Leave her for Jesse and live happily with him as if nothing had happened. Take the light and warmth and carry them away to another home.

Dina let Ellie's words settle into a ringing silence before she spoke back. Her face grew hard and impenetrable in a moment.

"I don't know why it bothers you so much, and, you know, I don't want to come home and find naked bodies on the couch either."

It was as if ice water had been splashed in her face. Ellie only silently opened and closed her mouth, trying to understand how she had let this fight start in the first place and failed to keep her emotions in check. Dina stared into her eyes hard and mercilessly, slowly rising from her seat. Ellie unknowingly followed, already regretting every second of this conversation.

"So I think everyone would be better off if I moved out."

She stared at Ellie's anger-red and confused face for a second before she slowly turned her back on her and went upstairs. When the sound of her footsteps faded and silence filled the room again, Ellie slowly turned to face the tabletop and leaned her head down on it with both hands. Her heart kept pounding somewhere in her throat and seemed to be in her skull itself. Her hands balled into fists so tightly that her knuckles turned white. 

Right in front of her was her glass, which still contained wine. It was a dark burgundy color, and it looked like blood, as dark as the blood that was pounding in her temples right now, coursing through her veins, carrying the venom of anger against herself and the whole fucking world through her body. Ellie stared into the red, dark liquid for another second, then grabbed the glass and hurled it against the wall with such force that the shards flew all over the kitchen, leaving a big red stain on the wall. She looked up and stared at it blankly. The stain resembled a huge gaping wound. It was as big and deep as the one she was feeling in her chest right now.


	12. DRUNKEN TALK

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hello there!  
> I am very happy to receive your long and emotion-filled comments. And I couldn't wait to publish this chapter.   
> Wishing you a great Sunday and enjoy!  
> Next update - 17th Wednesday

The parking lights whizzed by so fast that they turned into solid red and yellow lines. Someone honked, but Ellie didn't slow down, skillfully maneuvering between cars. She didn't care how fast she was going or that anyone might not like it. The bike beneath her obeyed the slightest movement unquestioningly, responding clearly and smoothly to the turn of the throttle and the steering wheel. One of the cars ahead braked a little more sharply than expected, and Ellie confidently turned the steering wheel at the last moment and avoided a collision, not even turning around at the scolding that came from the opening window. 

Ahead of her was the Art academy building, where Kat was supposed to be waiting for her. Ellie braked smoothly at the entrance opposite the wide steps and turned off the engine. Leaning back, she removed her helmet from her head and unzipped her leather jacket, giving her heated body some fresh chill. On the steps sat the students, huddled in groups. Some of them turned and whispered, looking at Ellie and her bike. One of the girls was looking at her unashamedly, a flirty smile on her face and an appealing look in her eyes. Ellie noticed this and slowly circled her eyes around what was going on, flipping her leg over and sitting sideways on the bike. Calmly and indifferently, she watched the steps and the area around her.

After a minute, Kat's figure appeared among the others and began to approach her with a wide smile on her face. She came close and wrapped her arms around Ellie's neck and joined their lips in a fiery kiss. There was whistling and clapping of hands from the stairs. Ellie didn't raise an eyebrow, pulling Kat closer by the waist and inhaling the scent of her perfume.

"Hey...", Kat exhaled, breaking their kiss.

"Hi, baby."

"Half these girls are ready to jump on your bike right now, wherever it's headed," she whispered into Ellie's lips.

"I know," Ellie replied calmly, "But I don't care." 

"You look so hot right now, I'd give myself to you right there on those cold steps..."

"I don't think we should shock your fellow students."

"We wouldn't do anything they haven't seen online."

"Are you sure about that?"

Ellie slowly slid her hand along Kat's back down to the edge of her jeans, reaching underneath and touching her fingers to the hot skin. She leaned in slowly, catching her earlobe with her teeth and causing Kat to inhale frantically with her mouth. The whistling from the steps grew louder. Ellie released her lobe and smiled to herself.

"Okay, let's get out of here," she whispered in Kat's ear, removing her hand and handing her the helmet.

Ten minutes later they were approaching Kat's house. Ellie drove more carefully this time, knowing that Kat felt a fear of speed and dangerous driving. Despite the intense urge to turn the gas knob harder, she restrained her inner beast from making her nervous. 

"I have an important test coming up, I have a bunch of material to learn, but you can come in for a while if you want," Kat said, getting off the bike and taking off her helmet. 

Ellie climbed down next, taking the helmet from her and tucking a loose strand of hair behind Kat's ear. Kat smiled embarrassedly and stroked her scarred eyebrow, running her fingertips gently over it. A group of three guys walked past them on the sidewalk, one of them throwing some dirty words in their direction, spitting on the ground with an obscene gesture. Ellie's eyebrow twitched and her jaw tensed, holding back the surging wave of anger. Kat saw the change in her face, and her smile faded. 

"Never mind."

All the while, Ellie stared into her blue eyes without looking away. Her blood began to slowly boil and pound in her temples, making her hands clenched into fists. A tinge of fear flashed in Kat's eyes. Ellie clung to the depths of her blue eyes with all her might, trying to calm herself, but she wasn't doing a good job. A few more foul shouts came to her ears, and that was the last straw. Ellie slowly turned her head in their direction, assessing the situation and miscalculating her options. Kat gripped her jacket harder with her hands, but Ellie couldn't feel it anymore.

"Hold this," she said briefly, returning Kat's helmet.

She silently took it in a confused look, tossing her gaze between green eyes and taking a step back. 

"Ellie, don't..."

But Ellie didn't even look at her, threw her leg back over the seat, and started the engine without taking her eyes off the figures of the guys moving away on the sidewalk. When the engine rumbled, waiting for the signal to act, she unscrewed the gas knob, breaking the silence of the street with a loud growl. The beast in her chest roared along with the engine, and she released the clutch. The bike sprinted forward with a whistle of tires, and Ellie turned the wheel toward the sidewalk. As she cleared the step between the road and the sidewalk, she sped toward the guys, who turned around in time to notice her approach. Shock flashed across their faces, and they darted off in different directions, tumbling to the pavement. Ellie braked and skidded the bike, swerving and drawing a black line with the back wheel where the trio had just been. Smoke started billowing from under the wheel, and there was a smell of burnt rubber in the air. One of the guys jumped to all fours, helplessly dragging his limbs across the pavement and falling again. The other two had already jumped up and were running in different directions as fast as they could. Ellie watched their pathetic escape for a second longer, and then steered the bike back, calming the pounding in her temples.

She drove up to Kat and turned off the engine, and looked into her face. Kat stood in the same place, frozen, looking at Ellie with eyes full of horror.

"You could have killed them...," she muttered.

"I could have, but I didn't."

"Ellie..."

"I just scared them, Kat."

"And me..."

Ellie didn't want to apologize to Kat for her behavior. She wanted to do it, and she wasn't going to restrain herself or her anger. More and more often lately she felt it slowly rise from somewhere in the depths and obscure her eyes, and she was tired of fighting it.

"You haven't been yourself lately sometimes," Kat continued. Her face was still as preoccupied, and Ellie was beginning to feel annoyed by this conversation.

"I'm fine."

"I can see..."

"Kat, I'm fine. Enough of this."

"If you're in trouble, just tell me."

"Do I look like someone who's in trouble?"

"You look like a stubborn mule who will never admit he's in trouble."

"Okay, I gotta go."

"Ellie, talk to me."

"I told you I'm fine, baby. I'll call you. I'll see you later."

She kissed a confused Kat on the corner of her lips and put her helmet on, starting the engine. 

****************************************************** 

The days dragged on one by one. Friday, Saturday, Sunday. A week, two, three. It had been three weeks and two days since Dina had left. Some of her things were still in Joel's room, and sometimes she went to get them, but Ellie didn't see when that happened. They exchanged a few messages and that was it. Ellie knew she shouldn't have raised her voice that night. She shouldn't have been so overreacting. She shouldn't have expected Dina to live with her forever. She shouldn't have thought about it so much. Shouldn't have thought about it at all. But she did.

Riding her motorcycle helped. Trying to spend as little time as possible in the now empty house, Ellie got on her Enfield, filled up the tank, and rode forward, exploring the evening city. Lantern lights and glowing storefronts whizzed by, and the sense of adrenaline from the fast and risky ride drowned out the sense of aggression. Aggression that had awakened somewhere deep inside and now demanded freedom. 

When she got home, Ellie rolled the bike into the garage and threw off her jacket. Rolling up her shirt sleeves, she squatted in front of the bike and scrutinized the visible engine parts.

_ And why are you knocking like that, buddy? _

The bike remained silent, and Ellie sighed. Then confidently ran her hands inside, checking the tubing connections and oil supply. Everything looked normal at first glance, but there was clearly a problem. Small or big, it didn't matter. Ellie knew that when you had a car that weighed half a ton and was going 120 miles an hour underneath you, even a small crack or an assembly that wasn't tightened enough could have dire consequences.

After sitting there in silence for a while, Ellie got to her feet and headed for the house. In the kitchen, she glanced blankly at the red stain on the wall that no one had cleaned off. Somewhere in her chest it tingled faintly, and Ellie looked away, opening the refrigerator. There were several trays of yesterday's food and several cans of beer. Taking one of the cans and not even looking at the food, she opened it and took a few sips. The liquid cooled her throat nicely and her stomach rumbled pitifully, demanding food, but Ellie didn't even pay attention. She hadn't cared much about her diet lately and the fact that the belt on her jeans had gotten a little looser. She took another sip, staring into the void in front of her and thinking that the first thing to do was to check the oil pressure in the engine.

_ Joel's pressure gauge was somewhere. _

_ I'd have to look in his old tools in the basement. _

Another sip, and Ellie headed away from the kitchen, walking down the hallway and stopping in front of the closed door. She hadn't been in the basement in a thousand years. Probably since Joel had started going on her first long business trips. Ellie pushed open the door and slowly made her way down the steps. Dust flew in the air, and it smelled like a long-abandoned room. Faint light streamed in from the narrow, long windows below the ceiling, illuminating the mess that was inside. A stack of boxes, racks of junk, and other junk were everywhere, sometimes towering to the ceiling. 

Ellie kicked one of the closest boxes with her toe, kicking some more dust into the air.

_ Well, this will take some music and a lion's share of patience. _

Dipping her hand into her pocket and taking a sip from the can, Ellie unlocked the phone and made her way to the old tattered couch that stood against the far wall. Flopping down on it and throwing her feet up on one of the boxes, she accessed the music app and browsed through the list of suggested genres.

_ No. _

_ No. _

_ It sucks. _

_ Boring. _

_ No. _

_ Ugh. _

_ No. _

_ Mmm... _

_ How about this one? _

Ellie picked out a selection and leaned back on the couch, finishing her beer. The music made her feel happy and sad at the same time. Her stomach rumbled again.

_ Oh, shut up. _

_ Okay, let's see what we've got here. _

With these thoughts in mind, she got up and walked over to one of the stacks of boxes. The top box had "Joel" written on it in crooked letters. Ellie recognized the writing as her own slightly childish handwriting, and smiled at the little face next to the name. Opening it, she glanced at the contents and ran her hands inside, pulling out an old black T-shirt. The T-shirt was oversized and a little faded from time, but it still had "Coach Miller" written on it clearly in big white letters. Ellie wrinkled the fabric with her fingers, smiling to herself. She'd given Joel this shirt a hundred years ago, when he'd helped her prepare for high school soccer competitions and given self-defense lessons along the way. They spent quite a bit of time together then, working out and jogging in the mornings. In many ways, training with Joel made it easier for Ellie to get through adolescence and keep her feisty temper in check. She didn't really keep it in check, but she was always able to control herself and fight back, even against someone who was times stronger than she was. Joel had taught her never to give up.

Putting the T-shirt aside, Ellie took her old skipping rope out of the box. How many times had that skipping rope hit her back and legs when she'd worked out to the point of exhaustion and started to miss. The pain was intense and left red streaks on her bare forearms that wouldn't come off for another day or two, but it was always a reminder of the cost of a mistake. Ellie took both handles of the rope in her right hand and swung it crosswise several times, performing a basic warm-up motion for the hand. A cloud of dust immediately rose into the air, lifted from the floor, and Ellie coughed, setting the rope aside. In the box still lay an old soccer ball, a small boxing weight, and tattered wrestling gloves. It was all quintessentially her childhood and helped channel her energy in the right direction.

Ellie looked sadly at it all and put the music on stop. Opening the contact list, she selected a name from the list and pressed the call button, putting the phone to her ear. Several long beeps were heard before a low, gruff voice echoed on the other end.

"Hey, kiddo."

"Hey, old man."

"Everything alright? How are you?"

"I'm fine."

Ellie was silent. She didn't know what else to say to that question. She hadn't really called to complain or to share her heartstrings. She just wanted to hear Joel's voice.

There was a brief pause on the other end, and Ellie heard Joel mumble understandingly.

"I'm fine, too. Are you home?"

"Yeah. Went down to the basement to get something and found your old T-shirt that said 'Coach Miller.

"Oh... Yeah, I remember it. I forgot it was still out there somewhere."

"I think if I spend a couple of hours here, I'll find a lot of forgotten treasures." 

"If you find something useful to you, take it, and you can get rid of the junk. All my stuff is at your disposal, kid."

"I know."

"But"

"But?"

"You know what you're not supposed to touch under any circumstances."

Ellie rolled her eyes and grinned into the phone.

"Your '80s action movie collection will remain untouchable, don't worry."

"Okay," Joel replied. Ellie could hear him smile through the words.

"You know you can share with me if something's bothering you, right?" he added after a brief pause, already serious. He realized that Ellie had called for a reason. He always understood her.

"Yes, I know."

There was a pause in the conversation, and Ellie crumpled from foot to foot.

"Dina moved out."

"О..."

"I mean, not really... Some of her stuff is still here, but she's not sleeping here."

"A boyfriend?"

"Yes..."

There was another pause. Joel mumbled understandingly again.

"Do you miss her?"

"Yes, sometimes."

"Well... I don't know what's in a girl's head... But she'd be very lucky to be your friend."

"Uh-huh..."

"Maybe she'll come back. Guys aren't the most reliable story. I say that as a guy."

Ellie couldn't help but chuckle.

"As a guy? More like an ancient dinosaur."

"You definitely underestimate me."

"Yeah."

They laughed some more to themselves. This little conversation made her chest feel warmer.

"All right, old man, see you later."

"See you later, kiddo. Take care."

"I will."

And she hung up. As she pressed the end button, her finger inadvertently hit the playback of the music that was on the stop. The playlist continued to play softly, spreading rap and beats around the basement. Ellie put the phone away and started shaking her head to the beat with the music.

_ There is something about this one. _

She stepped away from the box and stood in the center of the empty space, glancing once more at the mountains of junk. Suddenly her gaze caught the movement on the steps. Ellie blinked and took a step to the side, peering behind the boxes that obscured her view. Finally, seeing a familiar female figure in the shadows, she froze in place, unable to believe her eyes. At the far end of the basement stood Dina, peering back at her. She carried a large gym bag over her shoulders, and her face was mixed with joy and confusion. 

She stared into the green eyes for a few more seconds before she quickly walked over and dug her nose into Ellie's chest, hugging her waist and pressing her whole body against her.

_ Oh, God... _

The brain short-circuited, and the arms wrapped themselves around Dina's petite shoulders, embracing the girl in return. The large gym bag slipped and fell to the floor with a resounding thud, raising dust around their glued bodies. Ellie was aware of what was happening for another second before she pulled Dina even tighter against her and tucked her nose into her hair. The painfully familiar scent and warmth of her body instantly enveloped her brain and plunged her into a state of peace. They stood like that for God knows how long before Dina was the first to finally move, clearing her throat.

"With everything going on, I just have one question..." she began, snapping Ellie out of her momentary state of bliss and weightlessness, "Is that Snoop Dogg playing?"

Ellie didn't understand the question at first, trying to get her thoughts together and get her useless brain to work properly. Dina pulled her nose away from her neck and peered into her face with a smile and mischief in her eyes

"Since when do you listen to hip-hop, freckles?"

"Uh..." 

Ellie just stared at her, not hiding the joy on her face and not knowing what to say. With Dina looking at her like that, being so close, it was almost impossible to think fast and clear. She tentatively removed her hands, beginning to blush.

"Don't say anything. I always knew you were one of us," Dina took a step back, continuing to smile broadly. God, Ellie missed that smile. After those three weeks, it was hard to believe it was all happening right now. Dina averted her eyes and glanced around the basement, whistling softly to herself.

"God, there's a whole warehouse in here."

She took a few steps to the side, turning in different directions and scrutinizing the details around her. Her big brown eyes filled with vivid interest in an instant, and there was a sense of mischief in her voice. Ellie continued to stand where she was, rubbing her sweaty palms on her jeans and watching the girl in front of her. Dina took a few more steps the other way, slowly circling the basement and looking at everything in sight. She carefully kicked a large wooden crate with the toe of her sneaker, listening for the sound and trying to tell if it was full. Then she walked over to one of the racks and ran her finger along the wall of a glass jar with a suspiciously dark liquid, collecting dust on it. 

"You didn't tell me you had a basement in your house," she said, turning her head toward Ellie.

"Well, uh... You didn't ask."

"How many things...," Dina picked up an old engine piston from the shelf and tossed it in her hand, testing its weight. She didn't seem to care that she was getting her hands dirty with dust and risked getting oily from the part. Ellie continued to watch her with a stupid smile on her face.

"It's a piston. There are eight of these in a car engine."

"Oh... Is that why the engine is called a V8?"

"Yes. I'm surprised you know such a thing," Ellie grinned.

"You'd be surprised how much I know...," she replied conspiratorially, shooting her eyes back and making Ellie blush a little, "And what's that?"

Dina walked over to the open box, with the sports equipment, and looked inside. Ellie shuffled from foot to foot embarrassedly, waiting for her reaction and continuing to feel uncomprehendingly uncomfortable.

"Oh... Are these yours?" Dina pulled out a pair of old torn wrestling gloves and twirled them in her hands, "Have they ever been in action?"

"Yeah, back in high school...Joel showed me some, helped me practice," Ellie replied, watching Dina try on her gloves. They looked a little ridiculous on her small hands, but still spectacular. She squeezed and unclenched her palm a few times, listening to the sodmantle crack from the tension, and then she looked up at Ellie.

"You really can be a menace when you need to be." 

"Well... I can protect myself and those I love when I need to."

Dina stared at the green eyes with undisguised interest for another second and then went back to the box. Reaching into it, she took out a yellow tennis ball and tossed it in her hand a couple of times. Ellie had already forgotten about it. She used to like to exercise with it and just twirl it around in her hands when she was bored.

"What's that for?"

"It's for reaction training."

"How?"

"Mm-hmm... You throw it against the wall and catch it. The harder you throw, the faster the ball goes. And when you aim it so that it ricochets right into your face, you have to either catch it or dodge it. Or you can lunge with your left or right hand while the ball is flying and then catch it.

"And how's your reaction time?"

"Not b..."

The ball flying at Ellie interrupted her halfway through. She easily caught it in front of her face, noting the force with which it was thrown. Dina grinned mischievously.

"Hey!"

"Now I see that's not bad."

Ellie sent the ball back with a smile, throwing it so that Dina caught it effortlessly. The ball, along with the gloves, went back into the box, and Dina walked around once more.

"You know, there's so much you can do with this place! If you get all the junk out of here and get some good lighting, you could make this place special. Turn it into, say, a mini workshop. A personal library or a bachelor pad," Dina threw up her hands, circling the space around with burning eyes, "Or a writer's study. Well, no... It's too gloomy. Or a place to hang out! Or a base for music rehearsals!"

"Or dance rehearsals," Ellie added, looking at her. Dina averted her eyes, smiling dreamily to herself.

"Yeah... There's plenty of room even for that. I've always dreamed of a place like this, to turn it into a base for our rehearsals. It would be so great to have our own place where we could gather, practice our moves, hang out, meet friends. We'd hang out here all the time. If I had a house with a basement like this, I definitely wouldn't leave it out. But since you're a true lover of peace and quiet, your basement would obviously remain something secluded."

Dina grinned and looked into Ellie's eyes again.

"And what are you doing here? Looking for long-forgotten memories?"

"An oil pressure gauge, actually."

"Oh... And how's that going?"

"As you can see," Ellie circled her hands around the mountains of junk.

"Well... Shall we look together?"

"Sure, if you're not afraid of dust."

"Do I look like someone who's afraid?" grinned Dina back, and began to look around the nearest rack. Ellie smiled to herself, walked over to the other shelving unit, and began going through the junk on it. She did it mechanically, not really thinking about what she was holding. As soon as Dina turned away and they found themselves separated by the process, Ellie's thoughts began to bounce haphazardly from one question to the next, preventing her from focusing on the matter at hand.

_ Was she back? _

_ Or had she just gone in to get her things? _

_ But before, she always came to get them when I wasn't home. _

_ Now she's found me here all by herself. _

_ She's not mad anymore? _

_ She has a big bag on her shoulders. _

_ Did she come to get her things and leave, or did she bring her things to stay? _

_ Did she and Jesse have a fight? _

_ Did he hurt her? _

So many questions, but Ellie didn't want to ask them. She didn't want to ruin the casual atmosphere, so she decided to just wait until Dina wanted to tell her. If she wanted to. They looked around in silence for a while, rattling old boxes and rattling rotten old shelves.

"Uh... What does this thing even look like?" asked Dina after ten minutes, making Ellie jump with laughter.

"You spent ten minutes looking for something you don't even know what it looks like?"

"Shut up. I'm helping. I just don't have enough information."

"It's this thing that looks like a huge nut, and with it there's also a pointer with a scale and an arrow."

"Got it," Dina continued rustling around the far end of the basement and kicking up dust around her, "Oh, so many tapes. It'll be funny if we find a vintage porn collection in here." 

Ellie's face immediately flushed, and she thanked the universe that Dina couldn't see it.

"It's probably Joel's action movie collection," she hastened to explain.

"80s action movies? Cool," Dina remarked earnestly without a drop of sarcasm in her voice.

"Too bad the old man can't hear that. He would have liked you right away."

"He would have liked me anyway."

"Yeah."

Ellie got to the old desk with the drawers and started checking them one by one. With each new find, she was amazed at what a trash collector Joel had been in his day. He kept all kinds of old parts, battered pistons, and literally a million aluminum cans of sundries. There were also old yellowed magazines, outdated reference books, and even a big old computer with a stack of floppy disks next to it. 

She opened another drawer, took out a small wooden box and twisted it in her hands, looking for the lid. The lid was retractable, with a faintly faded inscription on it. Ellie slid it open and ran her fingers through the wooden filler that protected the contents of the box. When she removed the filler, she saw the corked bottle and read the label.

[ _ Glenfiddich _ ](https://flaviar.com/glenfiddich/glenfiddich-15-year-old-whisky) _. _

_ Single malt. _

_ Scotch whisky. _

"Oh, look what we have here," came a voice at her ear, and Ellie jerked in surprise. Dina was standing behind her, peering over her shoulder.

"A bottle of whiskey," Ellie said, stating the fact.

"Ancient?"

"It says...12 years old."

"О..."

"A good one, I guess..."

"Probably."

Dina took a step back and flopped down on the couch and stretched her legs. Ellie turned to her, holding the bottle in her hands and rubbing her neck.

"I guess Joel won't be offended if we try it."

Drinking alcohol in Dina's company was not the best idea, Ellie knew that, but the temptation to relax and have a good time talking was too great to resist it. She didn't know how long Dina was back for, or if she was back at all, so she was willing to do anything stupid just to be with her longer.

"You know better, it's your father," Dina smiled from her seat.

"Well... He's not my father, actually," Ellie replied a little more quietly, and Dina's face immediately changed to a more serious one.

"Well... You definitely need whiskey for that kind of talk."

"Yeah, well... Nothing much to talk about."

Now she didn't want to talk about her childhood or tell the sad story of her adoption, and Ellie just lowered her eyes, mentally begging for a change of subject. Dina seemed to sense this and jumped up from the couch, not letting the awkward silence hang.

"Then I'll get the glasses while you look for a new playlist and topic of conversation," she commanded and headed for the stairs, leaving Ellie alone with herself. 

Thoughts began their frantic dance in her head again, but no sooner had Ellie figured it out than Dina was back, hopping onto the couch with two glasses in her hand. Ellie sat on the other side of it, taking one glass from her and uncorking the bottle. The whiskey smelled really good. Pouring some into both glasses, Ellie dipped her nose into hers and inhaled deeply the rich, rich aroma. It had notes of pear, oak, and citrus, and the drink itself was a warm amber color. She didn't know much about hard liquor, since she wasn't really into alcohol in principle, but Dina studied the contents of her glass with the look of an expert. She took a small, thoughtful sip and thought about it, savoring the taste. Ellie waited for her to say something, but her gaze was still fixed on the side, a faint sadness in her eyes.

"What do you think?" asked Ellie, hoping to distract Dina from her sad thoughts, whatever it was about.

"Oh...", Dina blinked, raising her eyes to Ellie, her face immediately softening, "Not bad."

"You studied the glass with the look of an expert. Just not bad?"

"You want an excursion into the world of whiskey?" grinned Dina, taking another tiny sip and not taking her eyes off the green eyes.

"If you know anything about it... It would be interesting."

Ellie watched the face of Dina, who grinned to herself, getting more comfortable on the couch and looking at the amber liquid in the glass. 

"Twelve years of aging, you said?"

"Yeah..."

"Now, for this particular whiskey, this is the minimum aging period, so this is the youngest whiskey by this producer. But not the youngest at all, as whiskeys are aged from 3 years. This is Scotch whiskey, also known as just Scotch, and it's made in the valley with the same name as the name on the bottle."

"Oh...", Ellie opened her mouth, not hiding her surprise, "How do you know so much?"

"I'm interested in more than just dancing, freckles," Dina smiled back.

"Okay... Anything else?"

"See the emblem on the label?"

Ellie lowered her eyes to the bottle, rubbing her thumb thoughtfully over the beautiful gold logo.

"Deer."

"Yes, deer. Glenfiddich means "deer valley" in Gaelic. That's where the first distillery was located."

"Wow..."

Dina looked visibly pleased that she had managed to surprise Ellie with her knowledge. There was no overt smugness on her face, but rather a satisfied calm with a hint of the same sadness.

"What about you?" she asked after a short pause.

"Well... Pretty strong," Ellie replied, taking another small sip.

"Huh, yeah," Dina grinned, "Forty degrees."

A few sips of whiskey on an empty stomach relaxed her body and brain pretty quickly, making her think much slower than usual. Soon Ellie stopped fighting the condition, hoping only that there wasn't a stupid smile on her face most of the time. Dina's cheeks soon turned rosy, too, and the sadness was gone in her eyes, giving way to glitter and fire.

"Oh, that's one of my songs!" she suddenly shrieked, bouncing on the spot. Ellie jerked her head, remembering that all this time there was music playing in the background from her own phone.

"Can you move, freckles?", Dina asked mischievously, jumping up from her seat and starting to twirl in place.

"Um..." Ellie just watched her from the couch, no longer hiding the stupid smile on her face.

"Come on, show me something, there's no way you have nothing to surprise me with," she teased, starting to do a bizarre funny dance, than made Ellie laugh to her stomach ache, "What, nothing at all? Someone's joining the ranks of losers."

"Really?" Ellie took another sip, getting up from her seat. She was already drunk enough to fall for Dina's provocation, but not yet drunk enough to be unsure of her feet, "Watch out."

Dina took a step to the side, clearly intrigued, and Ellie performed a handstand in one confident motion. Her shirt and T-shirt were pulled up beneath her, exposing tense abs that didn't seem to go unnoticed. Dina examined her figure for another second and then, without letting Ellie straighten her legs into a straight line, shoved her with her hand, causing her to fall to the floor with a loud thud.

"Hey!" protested Ellie, getting up on her elbows and kicking up dust all around her.

"Doesn't count," pronounced Dina with a satisfied smirk on her face, "Anyone can do that," she added and immediately performed a handstand with the same stance, only much more graceful. Ellie watched mesmerized by her figure and how she collapsed beside her after a few seconds, unable in the end to keep her balance. 

"Doesn't count," Ellie said with a loud laugh, and Dina shoved her hand under her ribs, laughing with her.

The whiskey had already spread completely through her blood, making her thoughts jumbled and her movements difficult. Ellie made no attempt to climb back onto the couch, pushing herself across the floor and leaning her back against it. Dina did the same, sitting down next to her and touching her with her shoulder. They looked at each other and looked away, smiling to themselves, embarrassed. The heat from Dina's shoulder was transmitted through her shirt and was beginning to literally burn through the skin underneath. Ellie took another quick look at Dina, examining her face and her beautiful straight profile. After a few seconds, Dina slowly turned around and caught her gaze on the green eyes. Her thoughts began to run in a frantic circle again, making her heart pound and her blood race. Ellie couldn't tear her hazy gaze away from Dina's eyes and couldn't stop thinking about how easy it would be right now to put her palm on Dina's cheek and lean in for a kiss.

_ Stop it. _

_ Stop it right now. _

_ It's just alcohol. _

_ Dina's dating Jessie, and I'm dating Kat. _

_ And even if she wasn't, she likes guys. _

_ We're just friends... _

Ellie swallowed hard and tore her eyes away with a titanic effort, looking away first and looking at her lap. Dina studied her face for another second and then rested her head on her shoulder, wrapping her arms around her forearm. It felt so familiar, but every time was like a first. The warmth from her hands and body slowly penetrated beneath her very skin, keeping her heart from returning to its usual rhythm.

"Thank you, freckles...," Dina said quietly, not raising her head.

"For what?" asked Ellie hoarsely in response, trying to pull her thoughts together.

"For not asking." 

They sat like that in silence for several minutes before Ellie spoke first.

"If someone hurts you... Even if it's my best friend... I'll kick his ass even without gloves."

"I know," Dina replied with a smile, "You and Mel share first place in this mission."

Ellie swallowed and slowly pressed her cheek against the top of Dina's head. There was so much she wanted to say to her, but the words just weren't coming.

"I missed you," Dina added.

"You're not mad at me anymore?" asked Ellie after a pause.

"I'm never mad at you."

They sat in silence some more. Ellie could have sworn that time had stopped around them, and it was a few degrees warmer in that dusty old basement. Her brain was ready to shut down at any moment, but Ellie didn't allow herself to, catching every minute of it.

"I'd forgotten how peaceful it is with you, freckles..."

"Yeah..."

And it was.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading to this point. I appreciate your attention and the time you have invested in reading my fic.  
> As an author, I want to make a few important reservations:  
> \- You will be reading a coherent and fully completed story at this point, with an initially thoughtful and constructed plot  
> \- there will be regular updates  
> \- English is not my native language, so I want to say thank you to my friend Unique for helping me translate.


End file.
